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Thread: I feel like this sometimes

  1. #91
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aella View Post
    A bald snatch would be more susceptible to the herz, I imagine. But less to lice!
    that's what I think too.. let's go to our expert .. MOOOMS? what says you?
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(_)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

  2. #92
    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
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    A hairy muff is a helmet of protection against herp, guys.
    When your daughter plays "House," she pretends to be an annoying doctor with a pill-addiction and a limp.

  3. #93
    Elite Member moomies's Avatar
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    You can possibly get cooter boils from bald snatches. It is as good as getting herpz. Lice just migrate to your bushy armpits.

    If you think it's crazy, you ain't seen a thing. Just wait until we're goin down in flames.

  4. #94
    Elite Member Aella's Avatar
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    But would a merkin work just as well?

    "Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

    "The only thing more expensive than education is ignorance." -Benjamin Franklin

  5. #95
    Elite Member moomies's Avatar
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    Rofl, the pink merkin reminds me of Britter's pink wig! Klassy

    Anyone know how it works? Is it a clip on or sticky tape? In that case, if it gets yanked off, you get some more waxing done. And if you already had no pubes, well, you get some exfoliating done.

    If you think it's crazy, you ain't seen a thing. Just wait until we're goin down in flames.

  6. #96
    Elite Member Aella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moomies View Post

    Anyone know how it works? Is it a clip on or sticky tape? In that case, if it gets yanked off, you get some more waxing done. And if you already had no pubes, well, you get some exfoliating done.
    I actually tried to google for an answer (man, I'm BORED) and instead found this gem:

    KEEP ON MERKIN

    Dear Cecil:

    The topic of merkins came up a while ago in a mailing list of word fans on the IBM internal network, and a participant told of going to a bar that offered prizes to amateur nude dancers. There were a lot of rules; some made sense (no touching the customers), some didn't (pubic hair required). A woman in the party considered going up, but she shaved herself; however, the management provided merkins. She said they looked like little mustaches. The whole scene was a little too weird for her, so she decided not to dance. --Philip Cohen, White Plains, New York


    Cecil replies:

    Thanks for sharing, Phil. I'll have you know that Cecil recently conspired to give his good buddy Charlie the architect a merkin for his birthday, something for which, Charlie's girlfriend assured me, Charlie had developed a desperate craving ever since having read about merkins in this column some months ago. Since the local sex-toy shop was fresh out (and yes, we thought of the Merkin-tile Exchange joke, too), we decided to improvise by presenting him with a large industrial mop dyed a tasteful bevy of dayglo colors. The classiest part of the whole production, however, was the instructions. Anne provided the safety tips and owner registration card ("It is imperative that we know how to reach you promptly if we should discover a safety problem that could affect you"); I added hints on operation and use. Sample:

    "Confirm that merkin is the proper size before wearing. Use of an improperly sized merkin may result in paralysis or death.

    "On first use your merkin may be stiff and difficult to attach properly. Do not be embarrassed to ask for assistance. For best results we recommend that four persons be recruited for this purpose--one to grasp either leg, one to apply the merkin, and one to act as lookout.

    "Once the merkin is in place, it should be appropriately lubricated using light sewing machine oil, petroleum jelly, #2 fuel oil, or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter when on sale at Safeway. Do not use so much lubricant that it dribbles in the street. Merkin should not 'squish' when in use.

    "Your merkin is highly flammable. Do not use if temperature rises above 73 degrees. If merkin ignites while in use, seek assistance by running into the nearest street and shouting, "I'M ON FIRE GODDAMIT." Do not panic. The number of people who die as a result of burns from a flaming merkin is surprisingly small."

    We had it delivered to the office. Unfortunately the firecracker didn't go off. But it was a birthday Charlie won't soon forget.

    --CECIL ADAMS
    The Straight Dope: What is a merkin?
    "Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

    "The only thing more expensive than education is ignorance." -Benjamin Franklin

  7. #97
    Silver Member crawdad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moomies View Post
    Rofl, the pink merkin reminds me of Britter's pink wig! Klassy

    Anyone know how it works? Is it a clip on or sticky tape? In that case, if it gets yanked off, you get some more waxing done. And if you already had no pubes, well, you get some exfoliating done.
    It is spring loaded, like me.

  8. #98
    Elite Member effie2's Avatar
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    Awwwwwww,Mark is back..........
    Helooooooooooo,Mark..lol of course..
    "Effie is all kinds of awesome." - Some internet moderator


  9. #99
    Elite Member moomies's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crawdad View Post
    It is spring loaded, like me.

    OMG, you're so knowledgeable. I have a serious crush on you...smart and funny (handsome in addition ).

    If you think it's crazy, you ain't seen a thing. Just wait until we're goin down in flames.

  10. #100
    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by moomies View Post
    I see CrawDaddy and my lady peen is tingling! lol
    I think he has you on ignore. You've been chasing him since the beginning and he acts as if you don't exist. Coincidence?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aella View Post
    I just found a blog dedicated to gloryholes-pictures and all!

    In how much trouble would I be if I linked to it?
    You get in trouble if you don't post it!

    Quote Originally Posted by VenusInFauxFurs View Post
    I gave that strain to Chilly and everyone has secksed Chilly at least once.. ..
    True. Everyone else is just a beginner in the whoring business. I'm the official board slut, therefore all herpes strains belong officially to me.

    Quote Originally Posted by crawdad View Post
    It is spring loaded, like me.
    You forgot lol. Did someone hack into your account?

    Quote Originally Posted by moomies View Post
    OMG, you're so knowledgeable. I have a serious crush on you...smart and funny (handsome in addition ).
    *crickets*

    See what I mean? Give it up, he's mine.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



  11. #101
    Elite Member sparkly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crawdad View Post
    It is spring loaded, like me.
    You're the most popular newcomer we've had in a long time. Entertain us.
    Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

  12. #102
    Elite Member Chilly Willy's Avatar
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    I agree with Sparkly. Feed the masses, crawdaddy. Enough with the one liners.
    Hello mother fucker! when you ask a question read also the answer instead of asking another question on an answer who already contain the answer of your next question!
    -Bugdoll-



  13. #103
    Gold Member lonestar's Avatar
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    so with the rise of shaved pubic hair and brazilian waxes, does that mean crabs is on the down turn?
    I'm a hard act to follow because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

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