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Thread: Best blog EVAR! People of WalMart

  1. #901
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
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    True story....there's a woman in our town who is well known for the upscale boutiques she owns. She is an amazing "stylist" and always points people to what will look best on them. She has a gorgeous face, gorgeous hair and happens to be quite overweight. She wears those same damn painted on legging/jeans/whatever-the-are. And she tucks her shirts into them! Every.damn.day.

  2. #902
    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    hmmmmmm who do we know who lives in Iowa????

    Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys

    Wal-Mart To Offer Sex Toys
    Bentonville, Arkansas - Wal-Mart Corporation today announced that they are preparing to sell sex toys in select stores around the country. The mammoth retailer spent a full year on customer research and reached the conclusion that in select rural markets, where it’s stores are most popular, there is definitely a pent-up demand for sex toys among women.


    Starting with a rural Iowa location, Wal-Mart plans a pilot operation for this new sales effort over the summer. The new store-within-the-store, referred to as the “Home Pleasure” department, will feature vibrators and dildoes at reduced prices. The store reportedly will offer the wildly popular Martha Stewart “Prison” line of vibrators in addition to its regular offerings.

    According to Wal-Mart spokesman Edward Kennedy, “While we expect some risk in this venture, our research indicates that women in rural parts of the country have largely unfulfilled desires and needs for these items”. Kennedy additionally pointed to recent studies in urban markets where internet access is affordable and common. There a wide variety of sex toys are commonly purchased by married women..

    In rural parts of the country where Wal-Mart stores are sometimes the only retail business around, internet access can also be very limited, so the selling of sex toys appears to be a natural extension of Wal-Mart’s personal products offerings. Spokesman Kennedy told Red Tractor USA that the female customers that they surveyed had privately indicated that they “most desired sex toys in the summer time, when their husbands worked the farms from dusk to dawn, seven days a week.”

    Wal-Mart’s Kennedy also revealed the retailer’s marketing plans to locate the “Home Pleasure” departments in the rear of the store near the guns and ammo department. While the men are checking out the latest in Smith and Wessons, their wives can shop discreetly and with confidence for their own little helpers.

    Wal-Mart sees an opportunity to demystify these types of items and even envisions these locations having private, women-only parties as a means to attract new and discerning customers into their stores. When asked if they expected any backlash from their conservative customers, a Wal-Mart executive who wished to remain anonymous, told Red Tractor USA that “We are already the volume leader in condoms and birth control pills in our pharmacies. So we feel that today’s Wal-Mart woman will readily welcome these additions.”

    By David Kruk
    Hmmm, dildos at WalMart? You don't say.... Odd that they would but it in rural Iowa, those bible thumpers aren't going to the dildo aisle. Bring it to the cities!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bellatheball View Post
    True story....there's a woman in our town who is well known for the upscale boutiques she owns. She is an amazing "stylist" and always points people to what will look best on them. She has a gorgeous face, gorgeous hair and happens to be quite overweight. She wears those same damn painted on legging/jeans/whatever-the-are. And she tucks her shirts into them! Every.damn.day.
    Oooh, what's the boutique? I'm in your neck of the woods tomorrow, I should check her out!
    RELIGION: Treat it like it's your genitalia. Don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

  3. #903
    Elite Member Bellatheball's Avatar
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    PMd you.

  4. #904
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    That's it. If I ever get sick of my job I'm gonna go work the sex toy department at WalMart!
    My Posts Have Won Awards. Can Any Of You Claim The Same? -ur_next_ex

    "I don't have pet peeves. I have major psychotic fucking hatreds, okay". ~George Carlin

  5. #905
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Rabbits at Walmart? This is an interesting development.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  6. #906
    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by greysfang View Post
    Rabbits at Walmart? This is an interesting development.
    Do you think they'll sell them with an attachment kinda like the stick for wiping your arse so some of the more the humongous Walmartian's can get it past their gunts and hit their bits?
    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. Hunter S Thompson

    How big would a T-Rex wang be?! - Karistiona


  7. #907
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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  8. #908
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Oh. Damn.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  9. #909
    Elite Member faithanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Honey View Post

    Dude behind her is dressed like Justin Theroux.
    "You're going to die tomorrow, Lord Bolton. Sleep well."



  10. #910
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

  11. #911
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SillyME54 View Post
    How did she even get them on in the first place!?!?! They look like they were painted on
    I think she put them on 5 years ago & just grew into them.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

  12. #912
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    These people can always make me feel hot, fit and well groomed even when I'm just lounging around in PJs.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

  13. #913
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    i specifically went to Walmart to buy an Onyx radio for SiriusXM. I was hoping to spot someone for People of Walmart. Didn't do that, but did see a fat lady stuff a big bag of Raisinettes into her bra.
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

  14. #914
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsDark View Post
    That's it. If I ever get sick of my job I'm gonna go work the sex toy department at WalMart!
    don't do it... imagine the returns & exchanges...
    Quote Originally Posted by greysfang View Post
    Rabbits at Walmart? This is an interesting development.
    nope. no, it definitely is NOT!
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(•_•)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

  15. #915
    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msdeb View Post
    i specifically went to Walmart to buy an Onyx radio for SiriusXM. I was hoping to spot someone for People of Walmart. Didn't do that, but did see a fat lady stuff a big bag of Raisinettes into her bra.
    That ought to be a melty mess when she gets home!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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