INSTALLING A HUSBAND
>
> Dear Tech Support,
>
> Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
>
> In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
> Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
>
> NBA 5.0,
> NFL 3.0 and
> Golf Clubs 4.1.
>
> Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housekeeping 2.06 simply crashes the system.
> Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
>
> What can I do?
>
> Signed,
> Desperate.
>
> DEAR DESPERATE,
>
> First, keep in mind,
> Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
>
> Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
> If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
>
> However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to
>
> Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
> Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
>
> Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
>
> In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0-program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
>
> In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend
> Cooking 3.0 and
> Hot Lingerie 7.7.
>
> Good Luck!
> Tech Support