From the Barry Manilow snow globe and the Thatcher nutcracker to the swan pin cushion shoe, the naffest presents you won't want in your stocking this Christmas.
LEFT: So Truly Real Tiny Miracles Baby Doll, £59.98 From a range of dolls that are so life-like they are frightening. They are ‘exquisitely crafted with soft, life-like RealTouch vinyl skin that will delight your
senses, just as holding a real baby does’. The Bradford Group UK - Online Shop. RIGHT: Galloway Zebra zip-through
fleece, £49.99. Hard to imagine where you could wear this and stylishly fit in — except perhaps on a visit to the zoo. www.idealworld.tv
LEFT: Dogs in Knits: 17 Projects for Our Best Friends, £9.79. In one of the most bizarre books ever published, author Judith Swartz presents some peculiar outfits you can knit for your canine companion. Amazon.co.uk: low prices in Electronics, Books, Music, DVDs & more RIGHT: The Art of Napkin Folding, £9.99. A present for the eternally bored. The 64-
page guide to napkin folding you always wanted but never received until now. Presents for Men - Gifts for Men, and Gadgets for Boys of all Ages
FROM LEFT: Uri Geller 9ct Gold Rock Crystal Open Star Charm, £24 In a union made in heaven, psychic Uri Geller has designed this pendant for QVC. Online shopping from QVC UK. Teak dog ornament, £105. Perhaps designed for those
who can’t face the hassle of a real dog, this wooden pet is made from weathered teak. Sally Weekes - Shop. Gold-plated silver cubic zirconia ragdoll pendant, £68.49. All eyes will be on you, but not for the right reasons.
Shop Online with Argos.co.uk - your Online Catalogue for Home Shopping
Glass boot vase, £29.95. You might have thought the point of a vase was to display flowers in an attractive way so this glass boot hardly qualifies. One that's heading straight to Oxfam. Welcome - Presents Direct!
LEFT: Hidden treasures gorilla ornament, £27.50. Another peculiar ornament, this one is more of a
tribute to King Kong. Even for those who love ornaments, this is unlikely to elicit a smile. www.
bankhousetrading.co.uk. RIGHT: Pollyanna Pickering Poodles Leave Paw Prints On Our
Hearts Collector Plate, £24.99. Enough said! The Bradford Group UK - Online Shop
Margaret Thatcher Nutcracker, £9.99. A nutcracker that lets you crack nuts between the legs of the Iron Lady. Even the toughest walnut is unlikely to withstand the pressure. I Want One Of Those
Barry Manilow snow globe, £9. Unless you are a lifelong Barry Manilow fan - and perhaps even if you are - it will still be a challenge to feign delight at receiving this as a gift. Welcome to snowglobes r us
Recycled wine bottle platter, £9.95. Another inventive use for the nation's growing stockpile of recycled bottles. Welcome - Presents Direct!
LEFT: Diver’s helmet ice bucket, £499.95. Nautical but not nice — and with a huge price tag. Welcome - Presents Direct! RIGHT: Swan pin cushion shoe, £23.95. A sparkly, somewhat disconcerting
‘must for any table display’. This Katherine Collection ornament has it all. www.decorativeliving.com
Illuminated John Wayne stained-glass panorama, £99.96. If you thought stained glass was best left in churches, this panorama of famous John Wayne movie scenes is unlikely to persuade you otherwise. The Bradford Group UK - Online Shop
LEFT: Elvis Presley Greatest Hits mug set, £33. It's the guitar handle that makes this mug a candidate
for the charity donation box. The Bradford Group UK - Online Shop RIGHT: Onion peeling protector
goggles, £11.35. These goggles 'have a comfortable foam seal which protects eyes from the irritating vapours released when onions are chopped'. They have 'anti-fog lenses' too. Home - Colanders Cookware Cookshop - suppliers of cookware, bakeware and kitchenware.
Just what I NEVER wanted! The ghastliest gifts ever | Mail Online