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Thread: When Women Drink Way Too Much

  1. #1
    Elite Member Algernon's Avatar
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    Default When Women Drink Way Too Much

    Lol. I highlighted the ones that I strongly related to....at least back in my wilder days!!!


    1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.

    2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND
    WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY
    THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

    3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

    4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO.

    5. WE DROP OUR 3:00 A.M. SUBMARINE SANDWICH ON THE FLOOR (WHICH WE'RE EATING EVEN THOUGH WE ARE NOT THE LEAST BIT HUNGRY),
    PICK IT UP AND CARRY ON EATING IT

    6. WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.

    7. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

    8. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US

    9. THE MAN WE'RE FLIRTING WITH USED TO BE OUR 5TH GRADE TEACHER.

    10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING TO US.

    11. OUR EYES JUST DON'T SEEM TO WANT TO STAY OPEN ON THEIR OWN SO WE KEEP THEM HALF CLOSED AND THINK IT LOOKS EXOTICALLY SEXY.

    12. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING + BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

    13. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN.

    14. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (er, or, the mop?)

    15. WE START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..."

    16. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT.

    17. OUR HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.

    18. WE ARE TIRED SO WE JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER WE
    HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.


    19. WE BEGIN LEAVING THE BUTTONS OPEN ON OUR BUTTON FLY PANTS TO CUT DOWN ON THE TIME WE''RE IN THE BATHROOM AWAY FROM OUR DRINK.

    20. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator NoDayButToday's Avatar
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    Default Re: When Women Drink Way Too Much

    These are great. I have seen every single one of them at least 4 or 5 times in the last 3 years.

    Number 20 has happened to me more than once

  3. #3
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    Default Re: When Women Drink Way Too Much

    Unfortunately, I can relate to these:

    2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND
    WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY
    THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND.

    This is known as breaking out the white girl dance around here.

    3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.

    I have been pulled off of men and women. In my own defense, they probably started it.

    7. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAYS BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!"

    This is usually followed by the white girl dance.

    10. THE URGE TO TAKE OFF ARTICLES OF CLOTHING, STAND ON A TABLE AND SING OR DANCE BECOMES STRANGELY OVERWHELMING TO US.

    Dancing makes you hot, alcohol makes you hot, just trying to regulate body temperature.

    12. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING + BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT.

    I can inhale a marlboro in one shot.

    14. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (er, or, the mop?)

    Or a toilet seat.

    15. WE START EVERY CONVERSATION WITH A BOOMING, "DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BUT..."

    I suddenly get the urge to be brutally honest and if that means telling you to bitch slap your wife, then by all means...

    17. OUR HUGS BEGIN TO RESEMBLE WRESTLING TAKE-DOWN MOVES.

    I have a friend who once she starts to get drunk, she has this uncontrollable urge to indian leg wrestle. She believes that if she can do this, she's not drunk. I couldn't tell you how many times I've had to help rearrange furniture just so she could flip me over.

    18. WE ARE TIRED SO WE JUST SIT ON THE FLOOR (WHEREVER WE
    HAPPEN TO BE STANDING) AND TAKE A QUICK NAP.

    Indian leg wrestling is hard, I just liked to take a breather wherever I landed.

    20. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

    No, I can jump into a hot tub fully dressed to beat on someone for splashing water at me and being a prick, but I have to take my shoes off or I've already thrown them at someone. Although, I do have better gravity control while barefoot.

  4. #4
    Elite Member loulou58's Avatar
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    Default Re: When Women Drink Way Too Much

    So True!!

  5. #5
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
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    Default Re: When Women Drink Way Too Much

    I can relate to aaaall of those!!!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  6. #6
    Elite Member Barbara's Avatar
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    Default Re: When Women Drink Way Too Much

    2. We Believe That Dancing With Our Arms Overhead And
    Wiggling Our Butt While Yelling "woo-hoo!" Is Truly
    The Sexiest Dance Move Around.

    3. We've Suddenly Decided That We Want To Kick Someone's Ass And Honestly Believe We Could Do It Too.

    4. In Our Last Trip To Pee, We Realize That We Now Look More Like A Homeless Hooker Than The Goddess We Were Just Four Hours Ago.

    6. We Start Crying And Telling Everyone We See That We Love Them Sooooo Much.

    8. We've Found A Deeper/spiritual Side To The Geek Sitting Next To Us.

    11. Our Eyes Just Don't Seem To Want To Stay Open On Their Own So We Keep Them Half Closed And Think It Looks Exotically Sexy.

    15. We Start Every Conversation With A Booming, "don't Take This The Wrong Way But..."

    17. Our Hugs Begin To Resemble Wrestling Take-down Moves.

    18. We Are Tired So We Just Sit On The Floor (wherever We
    Happen To Be Standing) And Take A Quick Nap.
    9 times OUCH
    "Sex is not, by default, depraved and dirty. Unless it's really good."
    morons.org

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