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Thread: Why did the chicken cross the road?

  1. #1
    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
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    Default Why did the chicken cross the road?

    Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?


    SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken,
    cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.
    BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
    change! The chicken wanted change!
    JOHN MCCAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he
    recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the
    chickens on the other side of the road.
    HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
    chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
    ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
    chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn’t about me.
    GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
    road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
    DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
    COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
    satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
    BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your
    definition of chicken?
    AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
    JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
    now gainst it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
    chicken's intentions. I am not for it now and will remain against it.
    DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken doesn’t
    realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
    OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
    why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken
    learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
    ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
    We have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.
    NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he’s guilty! You
    can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
    PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
    MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
    going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs
    when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
    DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
    Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been
    told.
    ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
    GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road.
    Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
    BARBARA WALTERS: Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will
    be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming
    story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
    ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
    JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
    together, in peace.
    BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only
    Cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
    ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road
    move beneath the chicken? COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

    *Mods, sorry if I didn't post this in the right place*

  2. #2
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    haha thats great!
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

  3. #3
    Elite Member Serendipity's Avatar
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    Excellent!

  4. #4
    Elite Member Mariesoleil's Avatar
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    Love it.
    "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

  5. #5
    Elite Member Quazar's Avatar
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    Thanks - this was very funny .

  6. #6
    Elite Member *Kat*'s Avatar
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    Lol

  7. #7
    Elite Member Laxmobster's Avatar
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    Those were great!
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial View Post
    I also choose to believe the rumors because I am, when it is all said and done, a dirty gossip.

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