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Thread: The top 15 bad romance novel opening lines

  1. #1
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Talking The top 15 bad romance novel opening lines

    15."He snapped my bra like a Concord taking off, and I was unhooked for love."

    14."Yes, she was a woman who had once been a man, but she still knew how to flutter her eyelashes as well as those other hussies."
    13."The heaving waves on the vast, ink-black ocean sent a salty spray over the proud bow of the three-masted ship, leaving beads of water on the exposed alabaster skin above the bodice of the tall, raven-haired woman who stood sobbing on the deck, her salty tears mixing with the storm-tossed sea."
    12."Scarlet's hair was as red as my persistent canker sore."
    11."Nicole let the silk blouse fall from her shoulders, wrapped her left leg around James and deftly cut some cheese."
    10."Robert was new at this prison thing, and he felt frightened and confused. But the moment he laid eyes on #472825994, he became a prisoner of love."
    9."Sam liked to hump."
    8."Though flanked by two swarthy state troopers, Paula found her gaze drawn to the chubby saxophonist."
    7."It was a dark and horny night..."
    6."Gentle cascades of vermilion poured over Daphne's heaving, lily-white bosom. 'Call 911, Scooby,' she breathed."
    5."His flatulence reared up like a proud stallion."
    4."'Miss Savannah, is there room for both of us in that hoop skirt?' Chandler mocked with a slight bow and a sweep of his top hat."
    3."Within minutes of their meeting, Representatives Beth (D-Florida) and Eric (R-Montana) lumbered into the bedroom where soon the unmistakable sounds of wet, naked bodies engaged in sexual congress were heard."
    2."He smelled of pork. Rotting pork, in fact -- and lots of it."
    ...and the Number 1 Bad Romance Novel Opening Line... 1."Omaha Beach, 0800 Hours: reinforcements from 2nd Panzer Korps arrive, their well-muscled young torsos glistening with man-dew."

    The Top 15 Bad Romance Novel Opening Lines

  2. #2
    Elite Member DontMindMe's Avatar
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    Man-dew!
    President Barack Obama
    Sounds amazing, doesn't it?

  3. #3
    Elite Member lurkur's Avatar
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    Haha, i wish I read romance novels! That's some funny sh*t.

  4. #4
    Hit By Ban Bus! Lily's Avatar
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    Aw, I was feeling a sad for a little bit but these made me laugh and laugh.

    MAN-DEW. LOL

  5. #5
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    I liked #9. To the point. I bet the book was all of two pages.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

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    I wonder if James ran out of the room after Nicole cut the cheese?

  7. #7
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    I bet he had her charged with battery.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

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    I wonder why Beth and Eric "lumbered" into the bedroom? They sound fat to me, which might explain the 'wet' sounds their naked bodies were making.

  9. #9
    Elite Member LaFolie's Avatar
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    Those are priceless!!

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