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Thread: Great excuses for taking a day off work

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    Eli
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    Default Great excuses for taking a day off work

    I'm simply going to have to leave at lunch today because 4 or less hours of sleep won't cut it.
    Got any good/funny made up excuses?

    I've got a funny one: "My poo came out the wrong end so I'm seeing a specialist in the city." They won't ask, at least.

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    Elite Member Str8_uncut-jock's Avatar
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    You have some of the most bizarre yet intriquing threads ever. Just saying.

    Generally anything having to do with diarrehea is a pass. I would never ask details or mention it again if one of my employees told me that.

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Diarrehea is gold....

    I used to have a boss that would always call at like 1 minute before the office closed to make sure everyone was still there.

    He had an assistant, and once while he was out of town on a business trip, she left the office early. He called at 5 and found out she wasn't there. The next morning he called first thing and was screaming at her for leaving. She kept trying to talk to explain why she left but he kept cutting her off and screaming, finally she just burst out with 'Charlie- I shit my pants' and he shut right up.
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    Elite Member Str8_uncut-jock's Avatar
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    I literally spit my water out thru my nose when I read that! "Charlie-i shit my pants!"

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    Elite Member Mariesoleil's Avatar
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    I told my boss to go fuck himself yesterday. I was going on vacation for 3 weeks starting today and he got pissed about something, said: "You won't be going on vacation tonight!". So I told him that I didn't care as I wouldn't be in tomorrow (today) and if it wasn't vacation it was going to be sick leave because he was going to get a note from my shrink.
    "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

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    Eli
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    Quote Originally Posted by Str8_uncut-jock View Post
    I literally spit my water out thru my nose when I read that! "Charlie-i shit my pants!"
    Same! Well except for the literally, and water part.
    It's straight out of The Office.

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariesoleil View Post
    I told my boss to go fuck himself yesterday. I was going on vacation for 3 weeks starting today and he got pissed about something, said: "You won't be going on vacation tonight!". So I told him that I didn't care as I wouldn't be in tomorrow (today) and if it wasn't vacation it was going to be sick leave because he was going to get a note from my shrink.
    Holy moly! I am sure he deserved it, but do you still have a job??
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member Mariesoleil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by McJag View Post
    Holy moly! I am sure he deserved it, but do you still have a job??
    Fuck if I know. I'm on vacation and I'm job hunting. He's going to be in so much shit without me at the office and this time I am going to HR with this. I'm sick of all the harrasement and shit. I really cant take it anymore.
    "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

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    Elite Member AgentOrange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariesoleil View Post
    I told my boss to go fuck himself yesterday. I was going on vacation for 3 weeks starting today and he got pissed about something, said: "You won't be going on vacation tonight!". So I told him that I didn't care as I wouldn't be in tomorrow (today) and if it wasn't vacation it was going to be sick leave because he was going to get a note from my shrink.



    Don't worry - he can't fire you without a damned good reason, or he's got a wrongful dismissal case on his hands.

    BTW some of my favourite excuses are "My baby beat me up", and "It's the feast of maximum occupancy". Since they're from the Simpsons, I've never had the nerve to try them.

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    Elite Member KandyKorn's Avatar
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    I have an eye problem. I can't see comin in.
    I'm not quite drunk enough to really care, but is this her violation of her violation of her violation of her violation of probation or her violation of her violation of her violation of her probation????? ~MontanaMama on LL's latest arrest.

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    Elite Member Mariesoleil's Avatar
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    Hahah thanks Agent Orange
    "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mariesoleil View Post
    Hahah thanks Agent Orange
    He had to sign off on your vacation schedule in advance. So he can't turn around and pull shit at the last minute. He's just trying to intimidate you. In many cases a manager can't fire personel without clearing it with their bosses, who of course want to know what the problem is. Too many firings, and the manager might get the sack - since it's easier to replace a manager than the entire office.

    Most likely when you get back, he'll be friendly, and ask you how your vacation went. Be nice and it will be all water nuder the bridge. If he brings it up, say you figured that he was blowing off steam, adn that you understand. Everything should then be copasetic.

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    Elite Member Mariesoleil's Avatar
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    Yeah I know, he's being an ass.
    "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

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    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    *ring..ring..(pickup)*

    "Hi it's X. Right now I am sloughing off the lining of my uterus, horrible stinky blood was gushing out too..with all these clots and stuff..but now it is just a steady stream of a dark brownish red gruel like-substance..but the smell is even worse..and I feel like something really big is building up too..do you think I should go ahead and come on into the office today or take the day off?"

    Unfortunately I could never use this one. I also think this would be particularly effective with a male boss...
    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

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    Elite Member Mariesoleil's Avatar
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    ^^ Oh definently, the period reason works great on male bosses
    "Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers."

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