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Thread: Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

  1. #1
    Elite Member LynnieD's Avatar
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    Oct 2005

    Default Obituary of the late Mr. Common Sense

    Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has
    been with us for many years.
    No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago
    lost in bureaucratic red tape.

    He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
    Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
    Why the early bird gets the worm;
    Life isn't always fair; and
    Perhaps it was my fault.

    Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more
    than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in

    His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but
    overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6 -year-old
    boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended
    from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for
    reprimanding an unru ly student, only worsened his condition.

    Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job
    that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

    He declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent
    to administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a Band-Aid to a
    student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and
    wanted to have an abortion.

    Common Sense lost the will to live as churches became businesses; and
    criminals received better treatment than their victims.

    Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar
    in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

    Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to
    realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her
    lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

    Common Sense was preceded in death b y his parents, Truth and Trust; his
    wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

    He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
    Blame, and I'm A Victim.

  2. #2
    Elite Member sparkly's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    Exchanging glances with the cunty bitches


    Thanks for posting this funny article~whoever wrote it is very original with great wit. How sad but true it is. You can't even breathe on someone, or you can be sued.
    Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

  3. #3
    Elite Member DoveFeatheredRaven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007


    This true, so true--we had a colleague who lost his job this year because he sent a high school junior or senior to the office and the kid walked off campus. Dad calls the office and throws a fit. The teacher is told to get his things and leave. Ultimately he lost his job. There were other "unnamed issues" related to discipline but this was the straw.

    It happens.
    Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin

  4. #4
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Central Duh-hio


    'He is survived by his 3 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To
    Blame, and I'm A Victim. '

    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

  5. #5
    Elite Member dakodas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005


    I agree with everything except the woman and the hot coffee. Why not screw it to McDonald's? The reason she received such a huge settlement was because of a finding of gross negligence-she was not the first person to hurt themselves with McDonald's coffee. There is hot coffee and then there is HOT coffee. I used to spill Starbucks on myself all the time and it didn't cause blisters. All it took was a little warning label and better monitoring of the coffee temperature.....

  6. #6
    Eli is offline
    Hit By Ban Bus! Eli's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Grand Canyon


    Oh my GOD I can't believe this is up here. I've been staring at this thing for a year and a half as it's the only source of entertainment at work. I swear to you, I have it memorized. *rips hair out and laughs insanely*

  7. #7
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Jun 2008


    rip mr. cs

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