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Thread: Children's artwork

  1. #1
    Elite Member DontMindMe's Avatar
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    Default Children's artwork

    I am better than your kids.

    If you work in an office with lots of people, chances are that you work with a person who hangs pictures up that their kids have drawn. The pictures are always of some stupid flower or a tree with wheels.

    These pictures suck; I could draw pictures much better. In fact, I can spell, do math and run faster than your kids. Since my skills are superior to those of children, I've taken the liberty of critiquing art work done by other kids on the internet.



    (by Megan, Age 4)

    WTF is this? A dog or a bedside table? If it's a dog, do you really think a dog with only two legs would be smiling? I can answer that for you: No. Grade: F




    (by Kyle, age 8)

    You spelled America wrong, asshole. Also, I could have sworn America's colors were red, white and blue. Do you see "yellow" anywhere in "red, white and blue"? No, traitor. Grade: F



    (by Lisa, age 6)

    Happy Easter, Lisa, and good luck as you continue to recover from that head injury. Grade: D (really an F but on the Head Injury Curve that's a D).



    (by Cameron, age 4 )

    I once saw a chicken paint a picture by holding a brush in his beak. This picture makes that chicken look like Van Gogh. Grade: F



    (by Bryce, age 10)

    Have the voices been talking to you again, Bryce? As long as they are saying "Paint creepy-ass pictures," that's fine, but if they start saying "Kill Mommy and Daddy," you should let someone know so we can get you medicated. Grade: F



    (by Jon, age 8)

    Ding Ding! Here comes the Shitmobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved. I would rather burn to death than be saved by this hairy piece of shit. Grade: F



    (by Rachel, age 7)

    Hey, look, everyone in this picture is white. Even the rainbow is white. Perhaps in an ideal world, everyone would be white, right, Rachel? Or should I call you Racist? Nice try, Hitler. Grade: F



    (by Jason, age 6)

    Jason was obviously at the zoo yesterday, where he saw monkeys flinging their own feces at the wall, and decided to try it himself. Grade: F



    (by Seth, age 4)

    What's wrong, Seth, Mommy pulled you off the teat too soon? Car, my ass. Those are boobs. And let's not mention the thing above them that looks like a boner, ok, Little Oedipus? Grade: F



    (by Kelly, age 9)

    This was a Christmas gift from Kelly to her parents. Nice going, Kelly, now pack up your shit and get the fuck out of this house. This shit might pass if you were 4, but you're 9.. old enough to know that some last minute scribblings on napkins just doesn't cut it for Christmas. Grade: F-.


    List Of The Day: Children's Artwork Of The Day
    President Barack Obama
    Sounds amazing, doesn't it?

  2. #2
    Silver Member venue_26's Avatar
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    Oh-now I love my kids' art work, and do hang it up at home.......but that firetruck one made me choke on my apple!!!
    Ding, ding, here come's the shitmobile......dear Lord, I'm still laughing!!

  3. #3
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    So mean but I like this one


  4. #4
    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
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    The pictures were amusing... But I didn't care for the "commentary". I don't care if the author was kidding.

  5. #5
    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    I was praying my non-waterproof mascara wasn't rolling down my face at "The Shitmobile. I've never seen a fire truck that needed to be shaved."

    Oh my, I actually love kid's art...unfortunately, I also love evil commentary. Mummy says I'm special, does that mean there's a special seat in Hell for me?
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

  6. #6
    Elite Member Shalev's Avatar
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    Hey, I love children's art! that's not nice at all !

  7. #7
    Elite Member southernbelle's Avatar
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    I agree with the commentary about this one. I assumed it was by a 4 or 5 year old and I was like, "That's not bad." When I saw the girl's age, my first thought was that there must be something wrong with her.

    I thought the firetruck was actually pretty good. I also liked the Frankenstein one.

  8. #8
    Gold Member lonestar's Avatar
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    i love children's art. it's so inventive and creative. but the commentary did make me laugh pretty hard. the firetruck needing to be shaved.... hilarious.
    I'm a hard act to follow because when I'm done, I take the microphone with me.

  9. #9
    Elite Member panda's Avatar
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    I love kids' art! I work at a Children's Hospital and it's up everywhere!

  10. #10
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    I thought the commentary was funny, but yeah, I like kids' artwork too. I can see how someone without kids could be annoyed though.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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  11. #11
    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    Well, it's unanimous. I sent this around 2 offices in 3 companies, 2 provinces...it's a smash hit. I had one guy in tears!
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

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