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Thread: Stella Awards 2008

  1. #1
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    Default Stella Awards 2008

    It's time for a review of the "Stella Awards".
    For those unfamiliar with these awards, they are named after 81-year-old
    Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued
    the McDonald's in New Mexico where she purchased the coffee. You
    remember, she took the lid off the coffee and put it between her knees
    while she was driving. Who would ever think one could get burned doing
    that, right?

    That's right; these are awards for the most outlandish lawsuits and
    verdicts in the U.S. You know, the kinds of cases that make you scratch
    your head. So keep your head scratcher handy.

    Here we go:
    7TH PLACE:
    Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $80,000 by a jury of her
    peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running
    inside a furniture store. The store owners were understandably surprised
    by the verdict, considering the running toddler was her own son.

    6TH PLACE:
    Carl Truman, 19, of Los Angeles,California won $74,000 plus medical
    expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Truman
    apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when
    he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

    Go ahead, grab your head scratcher.

    5TH PLACE:
    Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he
    had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson,
    the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the
    garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the
    door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it
    shut. Forced to live for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days on a case of
    Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance
    company claiming undue mental anguish.

    Amazingly, the jury said the insurance company must pay Dickson $500,000
    for his anguish. We should all have this kind of anguish.

    Keep scratching. There are more...

    4TH PLACE:
    Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas garnered 4th Place in the
    Stellas when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
    bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the
    beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get
    as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have
    been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed
    over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet
    gun.

    Grrrrr ... Scratch, scratch.

    3RD PLACE:
    Amber Carson, of Lancaster,Pennsylvania, because a jury ordered a
    Philadelphia restaurant to pay her $113,500 after she slipped on a
    spilled soft drink and broke her tailbone. The reason the soft drink was
    on the floor: Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
    earlier during anargument. What ever happened to people being
    responsible for their own actions?

    Scratch, scratch, scratch. Hang in there. There are only two more
    Stellas to go.

    2ND PLACE:
    Kara Walton,of Claymont, Delaware, sued the owner of a night club in a
    nearby city because she fell from the bathroom window to the floor,
    knocking out her two front teeth. Even though Ms. Walton was trying to
    sneak through the ladies room window to avoid paying the $3.50 cover
    charge, the jury said the night club had to pay her $12,000....oh, yeah,
    plus dental expenses. Go figure.

    1ST PLACE: (May I have a fanfare played on 50 kazoos please?) The
    runaway First Place Stella Award winner is Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of
    Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32 foot Winnebago motor
    home. On her first trip home, from an OU football game, having driven
    on to the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left
    the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a
    sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed
    and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago
    for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave
    the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury
    awarded her, (are you sitting down?) $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home.
    Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just
    in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motorhome.
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

  2. #2
    Elite Member Laxmobster's Avatar
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    Default

    4TH PLACE:
    Jerry Williams, of Little Rock , Arkansas garnered 4th Place in the
    Stellas when he was awarded $14,500 plus medical expenses after being
    bitten on the butt by his next door neighbor's beagle - even though the
    beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. Williams did not get
    as much as he asked for because the jury believed the beagle might have
    been provoked at the time of the butt bite because Williams had climbed
    over the fence into the yard and repeatedly shot the dog with a pellet
    gun.
    Hahaha what an asshat, I wish the beagle had bitten off more than his butt.
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial View Post
    I also choose to believe the rumors because I am, when it is all said and done, a dirty gossip.

  3. #3
    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    Default

    5TH PLACE:
    Terrence Dickson, of Bristol, Pennsylvania, who was leaving a house he
    had just burglarized by way of the garage. Unfortunately for Dickson,
    the automatic garage door opener malfunctioned and he could not get the
    garage door to open. Worse, he couldn't re-enter the house because the
    door connecting the garage to the house locked when Dickson pulled it
    shut. Forced to live for eight, count 'em, EIGHT days on a case of
    Pepsi and a large bag of dry dog food, he sued the homeowner's insurance
    company claiming undue mental anguish.


    He managed to find food and beverage, but couldn't be bothered to find anything to pry the door open with???
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

  4. #4
    Elite Member MrsMarsters's Avatar
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    Oh let me tell about the lawsuit..I actually was looking it up the other day...she had the nerve to say her coffee was 250 degrees and burned her so bad, down there she could never have sex with her husband again.

  5. #5
    smf
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    Gold Member smf's Avatar
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    omg ,i cant believe some of this shit ,especially the last one ,that goofy women could of kill someone ,but instead they give her over a million dollars ,who are these idiots on the jury that believe she did nothin wrong
    ,i bet she still has her drivers license to

  6. #6
    Elite Member sparkly's Avatar
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    This shit irritates me. Who the hell awards these dumb twatwaffles money for shit THEY cause?
    Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

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