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Thread: The laws of life

  1. #1
    Gold Member khaebs's Avatar
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    Default The laws of life

    THE LAWS OF LIFE

    Law of Mechanical Repair
    After your hands become coated with grease,
    your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

    Law of the Workshop

    Any tool, when dropped,
    will roll or slide to the least accessible location.

    Law of Probability
    The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    Law of the Telephone

    If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

    Law of the Alibi
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire,
    the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law

    If you change lines (or traffic lanes),
    the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now
    (works every time).

    Law of the Bath
    When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters

    The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically
    when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    Law of the Result
    When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics
    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to your ability to reach and scratch it.

    Law of the Theater

    At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle will arrive last.

    Law of Coffee

    As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,
    your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers

    If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Rugs/Carpets

    The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Location

    No matter where you go, there you are.

    Law of Logical Argument
    Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

    Brown's Law
    If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    Oliver's Law
    A closed mouth gathers no feet.

    Wilson 's Law
    As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
    (this one is true every time!)

    Doctors' Law

    If you don't feel well, make an appointment to see a doctor, and by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll remain sick.

  2. #2
    Elite Member sparkly's Avatar
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    Some of these are eerily true.
    Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

  3. #3
    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    Oh man....sooooooooooooooooo true.
    ----------------------------
    There will be times you might leap before you look
    There'll be times you'll like the cover and that's precisely why you'll love the book
    Do it anyway

  4. #4
    Silver Member venue_26's Avatar
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    Murphy's Law of Lockers happened to me Saturday at the YMCA.
    Yeah, me and some old lady ended up stripping our bathing suits off right next to each other.
    Ten thousand other lockers, and she nabbed one right next to mine!!!

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    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    The Law of Public Transport
    You must first witness 8 busses going by in the opposite direction before the one you wish to board arrives.
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

  6. #6
    Elite Member AgentOrange's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dixie Normos View Post
    The Law of Public Transport
    You must first witness 8 busses going by in the opposite direction before the one you wish to board arrives.
    You live in Toronto??

  7. #7
    sk_
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    wilsons law happens to me a lot

  8. #8
    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    ^ lol Vancouver, but I did live in TO for a decade.
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

  9. #9
    Elite Member Moongirl's Avatar
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    The Law of All Mothers

    As soon as you sit down to eat/poop/relax, your kids/husband will need you for something "urgent"...!

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