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Thread: Need to vent

  1. #1
    Hit By Ban Bus! Pippin's Avatar
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    Default Need to vent

    I don't know where to post this.

    Mr. Pippin raced back from the store where he places his sports bets and told me that a neighbour across the street suffered a serious heart attack. He made my day!

    Before you get yourselves into a tizz, may I inform you that this woman always treated Mr. Pippin and I with the utmost contempt and scorn, like we were something that she'd wipe off the bottom of her shoe?

    We absolutely loathe her. I go out for mega walks in nice weather and just one look at that thing, and I saw it all the time, would depress me, the wrinkled miserable old puss on it. My heart would sink. Sour looking thing. It had the same effect on Mr. Pippin. It would just ruin our day, looking at it. No wonder we take Paxil. Seeing that entity would just depress us...it was dreadful.

    All the weekend beer that we force down our muzzles wouldn't relive the vision of that awful creature, either. She was a mean machine.

    Thing is, Mr. Pip and I are fond of her husband and her son -- they are really decent people. They lost their Great Dane, Missy, some time ago, and I went online and found them another Great Dane, a puppy.

    They don't have a computer and I was happy to do it, Keith and Jason thanked me profusely for helping them. But did the heart-attack victim?

    Not one word. Course I didn't find a replacement dog for her.

    After having put up with foul beings like Ol' Mama Bin Laden and her ilk, I hope this thing croaks, too, and goes to join Ol' Mama Bin Laden n the seventh dimension of hell.

    Maybe if those two old ogres aren't too busy, they can swoop up from their bat-infested cavern and grab the next door neighbour and her friend down the street.

    Terrible old biddies...the next door neighbour is particularly offensive and told me I was "such a lovely woman." SInce she tears everyone she knows to shreds, I asked Mr Pip why I or he should be exempt from the vitriolic old tongue.

    PEH! Her own sister avoids her, and the biddie friend/neighbour finally stopped sending magazines to our house.

    I sent the Mormons after her.

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  2. #2
    Hit By Ban Bus! Pippin's Avatar
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    I forgot...this is funny.

    The hypocrite neighbour next door freaked out a couple of years ago because somebody kept parking a really rusty beat up car in front of her house.

    Sensing the annoyance it was causing her, I decided to act. Mr. Pippin and I are up before the birds are in spring...I made a huge sign that said "$25 OR BEST OFFER" and stuck it on the rust bucket's rear window.

    Mr. Pippin and I sat in the park beside our building and watched as all manner of scum went to our neighbour's house to inquire about the cheap car.

    I know...I'm awful...

  3. #3
    Silver Member Cotjockey's Avatar
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    You've inspired me!! Those are two great ideas that I'll have to try.

    I also have a hypocrite hag neighbor. Mr. Jockey and I refer to her as the "ol' crow" because she looks like one, with her big beak of a nose and the fact that she once sat on top of my fencepost and cursed me....hence, ol' crow fits her to a tee.

    Thanks so much for posting this!
    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic515_3.gif

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