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Thread: 8 people you don't want to follow in the crapper

  1. #1
    Elite Member DontMindMe's Avatar
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    May 2007

    Default 8 people you don't want to follow in the crapper

    Imagine it. You're on an airplane, or at a fast-food restaurant or an outdoor festival. You have to pee ... bad. There's one toilet or porta-potty. Someone is in it. You wait. And wait. And wait. Oh god, someone's dropping a bomb in there. But you have no choice. You gotta go. Finally they come out, and it's...

    Jim Belushi
    Jim's from Chicago, so you know he probably downed 4 brats and 13 Old Styles earlier in the day, and now he's just dropped them off at the pool, just for you. Enjoy.

    Margaret Cho
    Maggie's a vegan, and if you think vegans don't have foul dumps because they don't do meat or dairy or whateverthefuck else they don't eat (so I can), just think about what foods cause the nastiest farts. Right. Cabbage. Broccoli. Beans. Starches. Corn. Nuts. Corn and nuts.

    Please. Don't you know that every time Sasquatch drops a load on that gay cruise ship of hers, its speed immediately drops by 2.4 knots and it lists discernibly to starboard. Then I bet she comes out, triumphant, and, because she fancies herself a comedian, exclaims, "Hoo, I just lost 4 pounds!"

    Vince Vaughn
    Frat boy. Beer. Nachos. Cigs. Oysters. Tequila shots. Hot wings. You and I both know that VV can destroy any bathroom of any size, so whether it's a porta-let or the 40-seater at Mandalay Bay casino where he's pinching his megaloaf, you'll be peeing with one hand on your pecker and the other holding your nose so no blood gets on your shirt.

    Alanis Morrisette
    She's Canadian. Their shit smells funny, a nose-offending blend of maple syrup and Moosehead. Then you got Alanis in there, probably tokin' up and taking her sweet time while she pens another hit tune. Isn't it ironic.. that you stink.

    Mr. T
    I pity the fool.

    Linda Hunt
    Tiny little actress, but don't be fooled by her diminutive size. Ever smelled a Chihuahua turd? A compact little torpedo whose size belies its destructive powers. That's Linda in a buttshell.. I mean, nutshell.

    Ever smelled a Klingon dump? Me neither, although I had the opportunity a few years ago at the Inman Park Festival in Atlanta. I went to a porta-potty that was occupied, so I waited.. and waited.. and waited.. fffuck, this is gonna be ugly... and finally, out steps a Klingon. I kid you not. So I peed in the bushes.

    List Of The Day: 8 People You Don't Want To Follow In The Crapper
    President Barack Obama
    Sounds amazing, doesn't it?

  2. #2
    Eli is offline
    Hit By Ban Bus! Eli's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Grand Canyon


    Why, Worf, you're Mr. T in disguise, aren't you!

    NOM. I reckon she ate that microphone a second later.

  3. #3
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    in a van down by the river


    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

  4. #4
    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
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    Dec 2006
    Back in the boxed wine.


    I bet Britney doesn't flush. Lord knows she doesn't wash her hands.

    Cheeto bombs away!
    When your daughter plays "House," she pretends to be an annoying doctor with a pill-addiction and a limp.

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