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Thread: Classic insults

  1. #1
    Elite Member DontMindMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007

    Thumbs up Classic insults

    “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” - Winston Churchill

    “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”
    - Clarence Darrow

    “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.”
    - Groucho Marx

    “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”
    - Mark Twain

    “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.”
    - Oscar Wilde

    “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one.”
    - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

    “Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.”
    - Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw

    “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”
    - Stephen Bishop

    I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” - Irvin S. Cobb

    “He had delusions of adequacy.”
    - Walter Kerr

    “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”
    - Mae West

    “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!” - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party

    “Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!”
    - Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor

    Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it. - Moses Hadas

    There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure.- Jack E. Leonard

    He has the attention span of a lightning bolt. - Robert Redford

    He has Van Gogh's ear for music. - Billy Wilder

    “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.”
    - Oscar Wilde

    Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?- Milton Berle

    Some people stay longer in an hour than others can in a week.- William Dean Howells

    I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.- Groucho Marx

    They don't hardly make 'em like him any more - but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway. - Hunter S. Thompson

    You're a good example of why some animals eat their young. - Jim Samuels

    I married your mother because I wanted children. Imagine my disappointment when you came along. - Groucho Marx

    I thought men like that shot themselves. - King George V

    I can't believe that out of 100,000 sperm, you were the quickest.- Steven Pearl

    Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you. - Groucho Marx

    You were born with your legs apart. They'll send you to the grave in a Y-shaped coffin. - Joe Orton

    There goes the famous 'good time that was had by all'. - Bette Davis

    She's been on more laps than a napkin. - Walter Winchell

    So boring you fall asleep halfway through her name. - Alan Bennett

    List Of The Day: Classic Insults Of The Day
    President Barack Obama
    Sounds amazing, doesn't it?

  2. #2
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    in a van down by the river


    Quote Originally Posted by DontMindMe View Post

    She's been on more laps than a napkin. - Walter Winchell
    that is lindsay, paris, brit, etc etc lol
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

  3. #3
    Hit By Ban Bus!
    Join Date
    Nov 2007


    “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde
    Hehe, I love Oscar Wilde.

  4. #4
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006


    Oscar was a witty man

  5. #5
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2007


    these are good

  6. #6
    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007


    If Oscar Wilde and Dorothy Parker had ever hung out, the wit would have been so razor sharp, it would have lopped both their heads off. We can only count ourselves lucky that they weren't born in the same time frame.
    There will be times you might leap before you look
    There'll be times you'll like the cover and that's precisely why you'll love the book
    Do it anyway

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