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Thread: Why men are never depressed

  1. #1
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    Default Why men are never depressed

    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
    >
    > Men Are Just Happier People . What do you
    > expect from such simple creatures? Your last name
    > stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans
    > take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another
    > snack. You can be President. You can never be
    > pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water
    > park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car
    > mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your
    > urinal. You never have to drive to another gas
    > station restroom because this one is just too icky.
    > You don't have to stop and think of which way to
    > turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles
    > add character. A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux
    > rents for $100. People never stare at your chest
    > w hen you're talking to them. The occasional
    > well-rendered belch is practically expected. New
    > shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One
    > mood all the time.
    > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds
    > flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day
    > vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open
    > all your own jars You get extra credit for the
    > slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets
    > to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You
    > almost never have strap problems in public. You are
    > unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything
    > on your face stays its original color. The same
    > hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades! You only
    > have to shave your face and neck.
    > Y ou can play with toys all your life. Your
    > belly usually hides your big hips. One wallet and
    > one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons. You
    > can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You
    > can "do" your nails with a pocket knife. You have
    > freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    > You can do Christmas shopping for 25
    > relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
    > No wonder men are happier.

  2. #2
    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    As a woman, that was depressing to read

  3. #3
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AliceInWonderland View Post
    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED
    >
    > Men Are Just Happier People . What do you
    > expect from such simple creatures?
    Simple? Any idea how complex it is to deal with women??


    Your last name stays put.
    Uh so could yours but you like "tradition". That's YOUR fault.


    The garage is all yours.
    Well if you had any interest in what was in there, it wouldn't HAVE TO be. That's your fault again.

    Wedding plans take care of themselves.
    Oh yeah, that one is really our fault isn't it lol.

    Chocolate is just another snack.
    .. as opposed to what?

    You can be President.
    I'll let Hillary know she's not allowed. Wtf is this, 1952?

    You can never be pregnant.
    And you can never get prostate cancer.

    You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
    In Canadia, you can wander around topless if you like. It's legal.

    Car mechanics tell you the truth.
    Well maybe if you spent more time in the garage, they wouldn't lie to you. Your fault!

    The world is your urinal.
    You can pop a squat anywhere you like.

    You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
    Geez, just stand over it.

    You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    No, we're usually minimally aware of which direction to turn things.. ntus and bolts.. lightbulbs.. jar lids.. car steering wheels..*snicker*

    Same work, more pay.
    I'll be sure to tell Oprah.

    Wrinkles add character.
    Till you're the creepy older guy at a party.

    A wedding dress is $5,000 but a Tux rents for $100.
    See what happens when men aren't in charge of wedding plans? That's definitely your fault.

    People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
    At least when YOU have boobs its a good thing

    The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
    Not in polite company.. that's why we do it with the guys.

    New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
    Stop wearing stupid shoes that are impractical and cause long term injury.

    One mood all the time.
    No, we have irritated, pissed off, annoyed, tired...

    Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
    That's because you prattle on about nonsense like shoes that hurt or your lack of mechanical expertise.

    You know stuff about tanks.
    You would too if you read a book. Stupid bitch.

    A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
    Yours is full of clothing items that try to murder you, it's not our fault you dress stupidly.

    You can open all your own jars
    Lift some weights, twiggy.

    You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
    that's because you don't expect it. Your fault again.

    If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
    Well, that's because you're a cunt. Yikes.

    Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
    Stop buying expensive buttfloss! God!

    Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
    Well you wear the stupid clothes and then buy the injury-causing shoes to go with it all...

    You almost never have strap problems in public.
    Never seen a baseball game, have you.

    You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
    No, we just decline to care.

    Everything on your face stays its original color.
    Except facial hair which turns gray.

    The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades!
    Don't make me pull up pictures of the 1988 hairdo with the hairspray cemented bangs you wont let go of.

    You only have to shave your face and neck.
    Or back and chest if you're a princess.

    You can play with toys all your life.
    *shrug* you become your own doll.

    Your belly usually hides your big hips.
    Yeah, but it doesn't hide the belly.

    One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color for all seasons.
    you could learn a thing or 2.

    You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
    Again, lack of caring.

    You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
    So could you, but you prefer having some korean chick fawning over them.

    You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
    No, it'll grow whether we want one or not.

    You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
    That's because we're just better at it and don't waste time.

    No wonder men are happier.
    No wonder, we're just better.
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  4. #4
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    ^ GRimm!!! I lurve U!

  5. #5
    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    Just so you know Grimm, we don't set the price of underpants, deoderant or any of the other stuff we get over charged for, also, we can't go topless wherever we want in Canada, just public outdoor areas (or our own) like beaches/parks/sidewalks. We can't go topless in privately owned theme parks, Canada's Wonderland par example, eventho it has a water park
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

  6. #6
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    Grim, hit the nail right on the head.

    But women have it easier than men because:

    You can go out to dinner and not be expected to always pay.

    You can sit in the house whenever there's a strange noise outside, and you're not expected to go check it out.

    If a ship is sinking you're not expected to go down with it.

    If there's a problem with the car or plumbing you're not expected to always know how to fix it.

    You can ramble on endlessly about your feelings or how your day went, and expect people to listen.

    See, it's not all bad being a woman.

  7. #7
    Elite Member DontMindMe's Avatar
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    ^Good points King.

    Grimm! I scared my cat I was laughing so hard.
    President Barack Obama
    Sounds amazing, doesn't it?

  8. #8
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    yeah well at least you men never have to have a tube of tissue up your cooter to absorb the montly blood that comes out indefinetly!

  9. #9
    Elite Member cynic's Avatar
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    no, but we gotta listen to you all whine and complain about it when you do.....

  10. #10
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    being a woman is way better than being a man.
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(_)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

  11. #11
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cynic View Post
    no, but we gotta listen to you all whine and complain about it when you do.....
    i'm bleeding right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    but this was a good period; no pain, no bloat, none of that crap for once but my boobs did swell!

  12. #12
    Elite Member kingcap72's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AliceInWonderland View Post
    yeah well at least you men never have to have a tube of tissue up your cooter to absorb the montly blood that comes out indefinetly!
    We learn about it first-hand, if we happen to be in the cooter at the wrong time of the month.

  13. #13
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    the original article is so funny, lots of that it too true

  14. #14
    Elite Member sharon_b's Avatar
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    Haha! funny article but its made me slightly depressed now

  15. #15
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
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    ^ I know, so's the thought that im sitting on a big pile of my own blood

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