You can hunt me down and try to kill me later, but I love this groaner:
A little old lady had always wanted to join the local bikers' club. One sunny afternoon she goes up and knocks at the clubhouse door. A big, hairy, copulent bearded biker sporting tattoos all over his arms answers the door. Granny proclaims, "I want to join your club!"
The doorman is quite amused, but tells Granny that she has to meet certain biker requirements in order to join the club.
The biker asks, "Do you have a motorcycle?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, my bike's parked over there," and she points to a flamed black Harley chopper in the driveway outside the clubhouse.
The biker asks, "Do you drink?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep...drink like a fish. I'll drink everyone in your club under the table."
The biker asks, a little confuzzled, "Do you smoke?"
The little old lady replies, "Yep, smoke like a chimney. At least two packs of cigarettes and three joints a day and a couple more in the evening while I'm shooting pool."
The big, hairy biker is very impressed and asks, "Last question, have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The little old lady ponders for a minute and then replies, "Nope, but I've been swung around by my nipples a few times."