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Thread: Signs around the World

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    Elite Member Aella's Avatar
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    Default Signs around the World

    Signs Around the World

    Here are some signs and notices written in English that were discovered throughout the world.

    In a Tokyo Hotel:
    Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such thing is please not to read notis.


    In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
    The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.


    In a Leipzig elevator:
    Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up.


    In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
    To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.


    In a Paris hotel elevator:
    Please leave your values at the front desk.


    In a hotel in Athens:
    Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily.


    In a Yugoslavian hotel:
    The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.


    In a Japanese hotel:
    You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.


    In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
    You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.


    In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
    Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension.


    On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
    Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.


    On the menu of a Polish hotel:
    Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.


    Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
    Ladies may have a fit upstairs.


    In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:
    Drop your trousers here for best results.


    Outside a Paris dress shop:
    Dresses for street walking.


    In a Rhodes tailor shop:
    Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.


    Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
    There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.


    A sign posted in Germany's Black forest:
    It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.


    In a Zurich hotel:
    Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.


    In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
    Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.


    In a Rome laundry:
    Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.


    Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
    Would you like to ride on your own ass?


    In a Swiss mountain inn:
    Special today -- no ice cream.


    In a Bangkok temple:
    It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.


    In a Tokyo bar:
    Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.


    In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
    We take your bags and send them in all directions.


    On the door of a Moscow hotel room:
    If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it.


    In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
    Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.


    In a Budapest zoo:
    Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.


    In the office of a Roman doctor:
    Specialist in women and other diseases.


    In an Acapulco hotel:
    The manager has personally passed all the water served here.


    In a Tokyo shop:
    Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.


    >From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:
    Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.


    >From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
    When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.


    Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
    - English well talking. - Here speeching American.
    Signs Around the World
    "Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

    "The only thing more expensive than education is ignorance." -Benjamin Franklin

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Bronze Member cupcake9's Avatar
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    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    An essay on the limitations of machine translation with some wonderful examples of signs at the bottom.
    Language Log: The Etiology and Elaboration of a Flagrant Mistranslation

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

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    Bronze Member cupcake9's Avatar
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    Spread to what the fruit? I'm going to have to go back later and re-read that, thanks for the link.

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    OMG, y'all are going to get me fired. I'm rolling over here.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    Elite Member chartreuse's Avatar
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    hilarious!!

    i love stuff like this! it reminds me of the totally awesome anguished english books by richard lederer.
    white, black, puerto rican/everybody just a freakin'/good times were rollin'.


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    Elite Member carrie2008's Avatar
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    Some of those are so hilarious that I can't stop laughing!

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    Elite Member Aella's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by twitchy View Post
    An essay on the limitations of machine translation with some wonderful examples of signs at the bottom.
    Language Log: The Etiology and Elaboration of a Flagrant Mistranslation
    Thanks for the link-I love stuff like that.

    On a similar topic, Welcome to Engrish.com! is definitely worth checking out, it's great for amusing Japanese-to-English translations.
    "Remember to always be yourself. Unless you suck." - Joss Whedon

    "The only thing more expensive than education is ignorance." -Benjamin Franklin

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    Elite Member Shalev's Avatar
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    Lol, very nice

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    Elite Member Karistiona's Avatar
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    Ahh these are hilarious! My friend recently went to China and took loads of pictures of really poorly translated signs, they're awesome.
    I smile because I have no idea what's going on

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    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    Would your friend mind if you posted them? I'd love to see!

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

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    Gold Member jocelyn's Avatar
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    sincerely, lol!
    good from far but far from good.

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    Elite Member Dixie Normos's Avatar
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    And my personal favourite:

    This is where you'll find most of the girls I went to grade 8 with in 40 years.
    "In the face of the blinding sun, I wake only to find
    that Heaven is a stranger place than than one I've left behind." - SM

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Welcome to Engrish.com!

    the best place for all your engrish needs





    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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