Results 1 to 5 of 5

Thread: Metaphorically speaking

  1. #1
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    8,106

    Default Metaphorically speaking

    Some dreadful metaphors (actually most are similes if you're going to be pedantic) allegedly from student essays

    Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
    His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a tumble dryer.
    The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
    McMurphy fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a paper bag filled with vegetable soup.
    Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
    Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the centre.
    Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
    He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
    The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
    Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left York at 6:36 p.m. travelling at 55 mph, the other from Peterborough at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
    The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the full stop after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.
    John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
    The thunder was ominous sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.
    The red brick wall was the colour of a brick-red crayon.
    Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.
    Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
    The plan was simple, like my mate Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
    The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for while.
    "Oh, Jason, take me!" she panted, her breasts heaving like a student on 31p-a-pint night.
    He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.
    Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter."
    She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
    The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a lamppost.
    The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free cashpoint.
    The dandelion swayed in the gentle breeze like an oscillating electric fan set on medium.
    It was a working class tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with their power tools.
    He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a dustcart reversing.
    She was as easy as the Daily Star crossword.
    She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature British beef.
    She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
    Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a first-generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
    It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  2. #2
    Silver Member Morrisonlver's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    The Psych Ward
    Posts
    457

    Default Re: Metaphorically speaking

    She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.


    I'll have to send that to one of my friends that is an english teacher.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member fluffy bomb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    yew ess of aaay
    Posts
    32

    Default Re: Metaphorically speaking

    These are fricken hilarious! I don't see how they could have really been used tho.
    Good luck exploring the infinite abyss!

  4. #4
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    8,106

    Default Re: Metaphorically speaking

    ^^ You never know!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  5. #5
    Elite Member moomies's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    pretending to be a lurker but I'm not quiet enough
    Posts
    15,515

    Default Re: Metaphorically speaking

    Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

    LOVE IT!!!

    These are just all great. I'm gonna come read this list when I'm feeling depressed. Who needs anti-depressants!! (or vitamins for Tom Cruise)

    If you think it's crazy, you ain't seen a thing. Just wait until we're goin down in flames.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Speaking of funny Amazon items...
    By KristiB in forum Laughs and Oddities
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: May 8th, 2006, 07:46 PM
  2. Tori Spelling and parents not speaking over TV show.
    By buttmunch in forum Gossip Archive
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: March 21st, 2006, 04:03 PM
  3. Denise Richards, Sheen not on speaking terms
    By ourmaninBusan in forum Gossip Archive
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: February 7th, 2006, 09:50 AM
  4. Replies: 11
    Last Post: December 10th, 2005, 09:05 AM
  5. Speaking of real estate...
    By chuckpony in forum Home and Garden
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: November 1st, 2005, 08:49 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •