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Thread: How to rate a tornado, Uncyclopedia style

  1. #1
    Elite Member NicoleWasHere's Avatar
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    Jun 2007

    Talking How to rate a tornado, Uncyclopedia style

    Pretty funny for anyone who's fascinated with the weather, and could be funny for those who aren't.

    F0 - Also known as a sissy or girlie man tornado, these wimpy tornadoes will only break branches off trees and knock over little children. An F0 tornado can reach winds of up to 72 miles an hour resulting in hours of hilarity as you watch small animals enjoy a trip across town.

    F1 - Known as the Nazi Tornado, these tornadoes will reach wind speeds of up to 112 mph and knock mobile homes over, wipe out homeless shanties and in general just bug the crap out of minorities and the poor. These tornadoes, because of their evident prejudice, have been the focus of ongoing lawsuits by the ACLU, NAACP, SPCA, Rainbow Coalition and Scientologists. A team of federally appointed lawyers for the defendant, GOD, have spent years requesting continuances due to the fact that their client has refused to show up in federal court and tornadoes keep destroying every courthouse that hears the case.

    F2 - Known as the White Trash Relocater, these tornadoes can reach wind speeds of up to 157 mph and will either move that unsightly mobile home out of the area of just flatten it into an unrecognizable scrap heap, either way doing everyone a favor.

    F3 - Known as The Punisher, these babies can reach wind speeds of up to 206 mph and will rip everything in their path a new asshole. These tornadoes can flatten Kansas churches regardless of how well built, even as neighboring blasphemous states that teach evolution remain unscathed. This does NOT disprove Intelligent Design, it just demonstrates once again the tremendous magnetic effect of those damn mobile homes.

    F4 - Known as a "GYSOT" or (Get You Some Of That) Tornado, these tornadoes can reach wind speeds of 260 mph and if you're in its path, stick your head between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye. F4 Tornadoes can devastate entire towns and show no racial bigotry, they find EVERYONE to be equally worthless. In an isolated incident some dumbass in Oklahoma tried to file suit against Mother Nature for sending a F4 tornado thru his farm and destroying everything. God was not amused. The result the following day was...

    F5 - Known as an "Eraser" Tornado, as its name implies, it erases everything in its path. Until Kansas adopted Intelligent Design, their state led the nation in F5 tornadoes, but none have been recorded in there since. God still hates Kansas, he's just lulling them into a false sense of security; when he's ready, this is what will happen:

    F6 - Known as "The Final Solution" Tornado, these tornadoes are known to develop out of the F1 type. They can reach wind speeds of up to 379 mph. As this has never happened we are not truly sure who God hates, but we are pretty sure it's Kansas, although he may be having more fun letting them inbreed and watching them teach Intelligent Design while they de-evolve, or as they prefer to call it, reengineer intelligence negatively.

    Cyclone - Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

  2. #2
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Central Duh-hio


    I did not find it very funny really.

    *And the last f-5 tornado was in May and was yes, in Kansas. (actually it was an e-f-5, since the f scale had been retired).
    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

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