Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 25

Thread: Things that make you think

  1. #1
    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Den of the roving cunty bitches
    Posts
    24,533

    Default Things that make you think

    ONLY IN AMERICA:

    Only in America ....do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.




    Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
    !



    Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.




    Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.




    Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.




    Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.




    Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.



    EVER WONDER ....




    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin
    ?



    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?



    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?




    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?




    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?




    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?




    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?




    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?




    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?




    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?




    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!




    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?




    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?




    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?



    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?





  2. #2
    Elite Member litupgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Land of the stupids
    Posts
    1,536

    Default

    Yeah, the hotdogs and buns thing has always made me wonder WTF? Two bunless dogs. How retarded!
    Proud Mama....now where's my glass of wine?

  3. #3
    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Den of the roving cunty bitches
    Posts
    24,533

    Default

    The other day we grilled hamburgers and the pack of buns was half a bun short. lol. I don't know how that happened.

  4. #4
    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Back in the boxed wine.
    Posts
    21,279

    Default

    So true!
    When your daughter plays "House," she pretends to be an annoying doctor with a pill-addiction and a limp.

  5. #5
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Over the hills and far away
    Posts
    21,646

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Sweetie View Post
    Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

    yup.. I do wonder that.. as if saving 150 calories is going to do anyone any good if they still eat the damn burger.


    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    If I try reallllly hard, I can.. but, I have to concentrate very hard


    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
    Apparently the inmate can only die due to the lethal injection, not an unsterilized needle.. they cant be executed if they have a sore throat even.. they need to be in their right mind and good health at the time of their execution, so I can see the logic behind this I suppose.



    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!


    I heard that if they did that, the plane would be entirely too heavy to fly.. but I'm not sure

  6. #6
    Elite Member Laxmobster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Down by da beach....boyeee
    Posts
    7,648

    Default

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Hahahaha, I'm sitting at my desk doing this exact experiment and it's not working...
    Quote Originally Posted by Celestial View Post
    I also choose to believe the rumors because I am, when it is all said and done, a dirty gossip.

  7. #7
    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    37,547

    Default

    I love these, great read
    I can actually put mascara on without opening my mouth. I can't understand why its so hard for others?

    Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters
    I love the pen chains- i think they're very practical!

  8. #8
    Elite Member carrie2008's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    5,339

    Default

    Those are all so very very enlightening. LoL. But I really do find that one about politics funny.

  9. #9
    Gold Member honeysuckle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    in my world they know me here
    Posts
    1,458

    Default

    why do they call it a speedbump when you are supposed to slow down.
    park on the driveway and drive on the parkway.

  10. #10
    Elite Member dangerous's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    7,494

    Default

    ^lol, those are great
    thanks, these made me laugh

  11. #11
    Elite Member DontMindMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    Posts
    6,505

    Default

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
    President Barack Obama
    Sounds amazing, doesn't it?

  12. #12
    Eli
    Eli is offline
    Hit By Ban Bus! Eli's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Grand Canyon
    Posts
    4,254

    Default

    Only in America do people actually think other countries lie on another planet. (Doubtful!... I hope)

  13. #13
    Hit By Ban Bus! Pippin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    I've fallen and I can't get up!
    Posts
    3,339

    Default

    I can't put on mascara without my maw gaping open!

    That's an idea about the mouse-flavoured cat food, too!

  14. #14
    Elite Member Sweetie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Den of the roving cunty bitches
    Posts
    24,533

    Default

    LOL. I like how most of us women found the mascara one a challenge and thought that we had to try it.

  15. #15
    Gold Member honeysuckle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    in my world they know me here
    Posts
    1,458

    Default

    got some more thought i would share:

    Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

    Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

    Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

    Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

    Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

    Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

    Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

    Why do Kamikaze suicide pilots wear helmets?

    Whose brilliant idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

    If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

    Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

    Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

    Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

    Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

    Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

    How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

    When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you careless idiot?"

    Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you generally manage to knock something else over?

    In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

    How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

    And my FAVORITE......



    The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you!

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Things that make you go MMMMM
    By SammysMom in forum Laughs and Oddities
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: February 13th, 2006, 12:19 AM
  2. 50 Things Everyone Should Know
    By Tiara in forum Laughs and Oddities
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: January 13th, 2006, 11:20 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •