Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: Mental Hospital Phone Menu

  1. #1
    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Nor Cal
    Posts
    9,540

    Default Mental Hospital Phone Menu

    Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital

    Please select from the following options menu:

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

    If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.

    If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

  2. #2
    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    in the wild blue yonder
    Posts
    15,479

    Default

    I've seen this before, but without the last couple of lines. Too funny.

  3. #3
    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    in a van down by the river
    Posts
    39,431

    Default

    haha, loved those!
    Basic rule of Gossip Rocks: Don't be a dick.Tati
    Lighten Up Francis WCG

  4. #4
    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Nor Cal
    Posts
    9,540

    Default

    I'm holding out hope that the last one turns out to be true

  5. #5
    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    in the wild blue yonder
    Posts
    15,479

    Default

    Me, too!!!!

  6. #6
    Elite Member dangerous's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    7,494

    Default

    lol..that's great...

  7. #7
    La vie en rose DitaPage*'s Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Posts
    37,547

    Default



    'If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.'

    Low blow

  8. #8
    Elite Member nycgirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Posts
    4,316

    Default

    that's really funny

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. I am clogged up -- help me w/my menu please
    By Dean James in forum Food and Cuisine
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: April 1st, 2007, 10:17 PM
  2. Replies: 8
    Last Post: September 5th, 2006, 07:04 PM
  3. Mental Joke
    By Tiara in forum Laughs and Oddities
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: March 24th, 2006, 08:25 PM
  4. Congressman's 'bribe menu'
    By buttmunch in forum U.S. Politics and Issues
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: March 1st, 2006, 07:26 AM
  5. Replies: 21
    Last Post: January 13th, 2006, 02:25 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •