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Thread: Things you wish you could say at work!

  1. #1
    Elite Member DoveFeatheredRaven's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007

    Default Things you wish you could say at work!

    I have bolded my personal favs!
    1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of s**t.
    2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
    3. How about never? Is never good for you?
    4. I see you have set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
    5. I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to see it my way.
    6 I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
    7. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
    8. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
    9. Ahhhh. I see the f**k-up fairy has visited us again. No need to apportion blame.
    10. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
    11. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
    12. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a s**t any more.
    13. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
    14. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
    15. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. Now just sit down and shut the f**k up.
    16. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
    17. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
    18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
    19. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
    20. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
    21. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
    22. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be what exactly?
    23. Do I look like a f**king people person?
    24. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
    25. I started out with nothing and still have most of it left.
    26. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer here.
    27. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
    28. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
    29. Whatever kind of a look you were aiming for, you missed.
    30. Oh I get it. It's like humour, but different........
    31. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
    32. Can I swap this job for whats behind door 1?
    33. Chaos, panic and disorder. My work here is done.
    34.How do I set a laser printer to stun?
    35. I thought I wanted a career: it turns out I just needed the money.
    36. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
    38. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
    39. Aren't you just a black hole of need.
    41. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
    42. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
    43. If you have something to say raise your hand............then place it over your mouth.
    44. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
    45. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.
    46. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
    47. You're not yourself today, I noticed an improvement straight away.
    48. Don't believe everything you think.
    49. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.

  2. #2
    Hit By Ban Bus! pacific breeze's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    in the wild blue yonder


    Oh, don't get me started.

    How about: Grow the fuck up!
    NOBODY is going to hire your lazy, whiny, incompetent ass.
    Don't ask me for a reference when you never did your assignments, barely showed up for class, and were disruptive while you were there.
    Have a nice life -- on the unemployment line or as a McDonalds fry cook.

    That's just for starters.

  3. #3
    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Out There


    "Fuck off" sums up all I'd like to say most days.
    “What are you looking at, sugar-tits?” - Mel Gibson

  4. #4
    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006


    You're fired.
    I Quit.
    Fuck you.
    Suck my ass.
    piss off
    If they are paying you a red fucking cent per week, you're stealing from the company.
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    twitchy molests my signature!

  5. #5
    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    sucking on a blow pop and playing with electrodes


    You're an incompetent slag!... I just got done cleaning up the mess of a former employee and this is the first wave of clean up; I can't wait to see what else will show its ugly face in the future.
    Ooooh I did tell my previous supervisor "I have observed for a long time and what I see being the cause of all the problems is that you're a fucking liar! You disgust me!" I dramatically slammed their office door after that (why?) and left... somehow I got new position and a raise, wtf?!?!

  6. #6
    Gold Member Goose's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    The Pits of Despair


    17. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!

    A friend and former co-worker of mine had this phrase put on a t-shirt for me and gave it to me for my birthday. At the time, it was true of both my professional AND personal Life!
    You were lucky to have me. But you know what? I think I already got the best part of you. And she's standing right out there. I don't know... what's left just doesn't look so good anymore. Hope Floats

  7. #7
    Mistress of Dick All Elvira's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005


    Who hired you and why?
    How was your nap.....I mean meeting?
    Must you leave so soon?
    Scariest Halloween mask ever > > >

  8. #8
    Elite Member TheMoog's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    all bound for Koo-Koo Land.....


    9. Ahhhh. I see the f**k-up fairy has visited us again. No need to apportion blame.

  9. #9
    Hit By Ban Bus! Pippin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    I've fallen and I can't get up!


    "Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma."

    I love this one! It reminds me of something my uncle used to say when he learned that someone he didn't like was ill. "Nothing trivial, I hope!" he'd chirp.

  10. #10
    Bronze Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2007


    I would like to say this to my Boss
    "Go..get a life Dude !!"

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