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Thread: Naked buttocks can predict future claims blind German psychic

  1. #1
    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    Default Naked buttocks can predict future claims blind German psychic

    I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!




    Friday, February 16, 2007

    Naked buttocks can predict future, claims a blind German psychic


    Naked buttocks can predict future, claims a blind German psychic. He says he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.

    Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's buttocks have lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.

    "The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told Reuters. "It goes on developing throughout your life."

    By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a client's naked buttocks, he says he can tell them about their future monetary success, family life, health and happiness.

    He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a further five lines radiate outwards.

    Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says all types come to him to have their bottoms read.He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means customers do not risk having their identities revealed, Reuters reports.

    "All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent members of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage because I can do it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind since the age of three.

    "An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."

    He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock groping might be motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's futures.
    Dangerous News



    Tracked the story back to 2002:

    Blind Psychic Feels Buttocks To Tell Future

    Blind Psychic Feels Buttocks To Tell Future - Local News

    A blind psychic claims he can read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks, according to a Local 6 News report.

    Ulf Buck, 39, is a German clairvoyant who claims a person's backside has lines that allow him to predict anything from financial fortune and family life to health and happiness. Buck said the lines on a person's buttocks are similar to those found on the palm of the hand. He said that he has trained his fingers to aquire the skill of reading buttocks.How accurate are his predictions?

    One client said that "a lot" of what he heard is true. Buck also said that he correctly predicted a soap opera actress in Germany was going to write a book.
    .......................

    Links have pictures of him "probing" people's futures.

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    This isn't a really new though, Sylvester Stallone's mother is an ass psychic.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    Elite Member twitchy's Avatar
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    I've heard she just used photos though. This guy is a lot more "hands on"!

    "The howling backwoods that is IMDB is where film criticism goes to die (and then have its corpse gang-raped, called a racist, and accused of supporting Al-Qaeda)" ----Sean O'Neal, The Onion AV Club

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    is this just an excuse for him to cop feels lol

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    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Geez...these asses think they know everything! lol
    Don't slap me, cause I'm not in the mood!

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    Elite Member Born In A Brothel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xoxo View Post
    is this just an excuse for him to cop feels lol
    I was just thinking that. He's a parvart!!

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    Elite Member Dean James's Avatar
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    "I predict you will be having hemmoroid surgery soon."
    Baby, by the time you have kids and they're in school, no one will care about you.

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    Hit By Ban Bus! ediebrooks's Avatar
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    If you look closely at my buttocks, you'll see little crystal balls in them.

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    Elite Member missbazilb's Avatar
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    That was the first thing I've read on here that made laugh out loud!

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    Hit By Ban Bus! ediebrooks's Avatar
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    I aim to please (cheesy grin).

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    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sojiita View Post
    Geez...these asses think they know everything! lol
    rofl
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

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    Silver Member goldengirl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dean James View Post
    "I predict you will be having hemmoroid surgery soon."

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