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Thread: Top 10 Creepiest Things Children Have Said to Their Parents

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    Elite Member DeChayz's Avatar
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    Default Top 10 Creepiest Things Children Have Said to Their Parents

    Reddit’s Ask Reddit function often throws up some weird and wonderful questions – and equally interesting answers.

    This week Reddit users were asked: ‘Parents of Reddit, what is the creepiest thing your young child has ever said to you?‘

    Unsurprisingly there were an array of pretty terrifying responses, and we’ve rounded up ten of the best.

    10. Creepy dating advice

    ‘I jokingly asked: “What’s the best way to get a girlfriend?”

    ’7-year-old’s response: “Tell her to be my girlfriend or she’ll never see her parents again”.’ – abluesxs

    9. Sibling rivalry


    ‘My 3 year old daughter stood next to her new born brother and looked at him for awhile then turned and looked at me and said, “Daddy its a monster..we should bury it”.’ – Like_I_was_sayin

    8. Watch out grandma

    ‘Not to me, but to his grandmother.

    ‘He was cuddling with her and being very sweet (he was about 3 at the time). He takes her face in his hands, and brings his face close to hers, then tells her that she’s very old, and will die soon.

    ‘Then he makes a point of looking at the clock.’ – NotTomPettysGirl

    7. Goodbye dad

    ‘I was tucking in my two year old. He said “Good bye dad.” I said, “No, we say good night.” He said “I know. But this time its good bye.”

    ‘Had to check on him a few times to make sure he was still there.’ – UnfortunateBirthMark

    6. Beware of monsters

    ‘While not something my own child has said, my younger cousin (around 5 at the time) once drew a picture of a a black monster, looked up at me, and said “He told me to draw this. He’s coming for you. You better hide.’ – Nilliak

    5. Skin peel

    ‘I was sound asleep, and at around 6am I was woken up by my 4 year old daughters face inches from mine. She looked right into my eyes and whispered, “I want to peel all your skin off”.

    ‘The backstory here is I had been sunburned the previous week, and was starting to peel. In my sleep addled state however, it was pretty terrifying for a few seconds. I didn’t know if I was dreaming, or what was going on.’ – psalm_69

    4. Sibling rivalry part 2

    “So I shouldn’t throw him in the fire?”

    ’3 year old daughter holding her baby brother for the first time.’ – olafthebent

    3. Cat crucifixion

    ‘When I was about 3 we had a cat that had still born kittens. I asked my father if we could make crosses for them, which he did. As he was making them I asked: “aren’t those too small?”

    ‘Dad: “What do you Mean?”

    ‘Me: “aren’t we going to nail them to them?”

    ‘Dad: (after several moments silence) “we’re not going to do that”

    ‘Me: “oh” – Tom_Zarek

    2. Past lives


    “Daddy, remember that time we died?” –CtrlShiftZ

    1. ?!

    ‘A friend of mine’s child told him “Daddy, I love you so much that I want to cut your head off and carry it around so I can see your face whenever I want”.’ – GatorMcGovern

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Number 6 - holy nightmares, Batman!
    MohandasKGanja likes this.

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    #1 made my kids laugh for about 30 seconds straight.

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    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    #5 is pretty awesome regardless of the sunburn.
    “What are you looking at, sugar-tits?” - Mel Gibson

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    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I love #8.
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

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    Elite Member OrangeSlice's Avatar
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    Those creeped the hell out of me. I'm glad #5 gave some back story or little girl would be getting an evaluation immediately.
    "Schadenfreude, hard to spell, easy to feel." ~VenusinFauxFurs

    "Scoffing is one of my main hobbies!" ~Trixie

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    Elite Member ManxMouse's Avatar
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    When my niece was 2, she told my brother, "you're going to die next Tuesday."

    eta: he did not die though.
    Santa is an elitist mother fucker -- giving expensive shit to rich kids and nothing to poor kids.

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    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ManxMouse View Post
    When my niece was 2, she told my brother, "you're going to die next Tuesday."

    eta: he did not die though.
    Your avi lol.
    The first one is funny but then those others are really creepy. Cool thread.
    See, Whores, we are good for something. Love, Florida
    #fingersinthebootyassbitch

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    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    The skin peel made me think of our vacation. I was sunburned and hubby was applying aloe and I was hollering and screaming when my then 2 year old ran in the room crying and screaming, "Don't hurt my mommy!" and punched hubby square in the nuts. It was priceless.
    Ravenna likes this.
    RELIGION: Treat it like it's your genitalia. Don't show it off in public, and don't shove it down your children's throats.

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    fgg
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    yikes...little creepmonsters.
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    These are hilarious. I love my kid, but let's face it, kids (especially toddlers) are creepy and evil

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    Elite Member Ravenna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sluce View Post
    I love #8.
    That was my favourite. I laughed so hard about him making a point of looking at the clock.

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    Elite Member Bluebonnet's Avatar
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    #3! They thought the kittens should be nailed to the cross like Christ.

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    Elite Member Mel1973's Avatar
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    Kids are weird and funny as hell. When my youngest brother was around 3, he loved telling stories about "remember when I was a grownup and in college".. and he would have the MOST elaborate stories about "when I was 23..." that you would just be amazed by the imagination.
    Kill him.
    Kill her.
    Kill It.
    Kill everything... that IS the solution!
    П(•_•)П
    twitchy molests my signature!

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    Elite Member Karistiona's Avatar
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    That whole thread on Reddit is comedy gold, these are hysterical! I love number one so much, that's too funny.
    I smile because I have no idea what's going on

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    My daughter tells me "don't ride the dog. don't pinch the dog. eat the dog, mmmmm.". Then she laughs
    sputnik and Karistiona like this.

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