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Thread: Amazon Customers Go Rogue, Hilariously Review Bic’s Idiotic Pen for Women

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    Default Amazon Customers Go Rogue, Hilariously Review Bic’s Idiotic Pen for Women




    Amazon Customers Go Rogue, Hilariously Review Bic’s Idiotic Pen for Women


    We've discussed the ridiculousness of Bic for Her — the pen specially marketed towards women, which, no, does not mean that they're branded with the face of Betty Friedan — in the past, but it seems that consumers have now taken the mocking of the product into their own hands via Amazon UK, a site where you can now find page after page of brilliant and hilarious fake product reviews from clever users who are alternately thrilled that there's finally a tool that women can write with, confused because they've never seen a pen before or concerned about the dangerous path that allowing women to write will inevitably lead us down.

    Here are some gems:

    User Butch McCassidy was set straight.
    Oh. My. God. I've been doing it all wrong. There was me thinking I didn't need to worry about whether my writing implement sufficiently reflected my gender. Thank you so much Bic for showing me the error of my ways. Perhaps Bic will also bring out a new range of pink (or purple) feminine spanners, screwdrivers, electric drills and angle grinders so that I can carry out my job as a bicycle mechanic without further embarrassing myself? Luckily my male colleagues have managed to keep their disapproval of my use of their masculine tools to themselves. I'm so ashamed. And re-educated as to my place in society. Thanks again Bic!
    kitchenwench was bewildered.
    I was recently given a box of these as a gift from my husband, but I have no idea what to do with them! They're too thin to make a good rolling pin. I can't ladle out my soups with them. And the tiny point doesn't even make a dent when I try to use one to chop veggies! I don't get it. If I can't use it in the kitchen, what the hell am I supposed to do with one???
    As was this reviewer.
    I tried these on a whim, and I have to say I wasn't very impressed. The applicator mechanism is far too fiddly, and the plastic tampon inside far too thin (not to mention uncomfortable and non-absorbant) - I'm sure there must be a knack to using them, but I couldn't find it. They also stained my knickers blue for some reason. I really wanted to like these, but it's back to pads for me.
    This gentleman was looking at the bigger picture.
    We're all joking about this, naturally (a woman using a pen - ridiculous!), but this could have serious implications. What's next, ladies attending universities? Pens to encourage literacy in the lower orders? The modern world is a mad place indeed.

    Amazon, I do hope you're scrupulous in only selling these to married men to give to their wives. To be used under strict supervision and with a doctor's note of consent.
    The reviews go on and on, getting progressively funnier and making us wish you could get all of these reviewers into a writers room together in order to create a sitcom about the radicalization of the office supply industry. As that seems improbable, we'll have to instead comfort ourselves with the knowledge that a product as stupid as Bic for Her has resulted in some of the best crowdsourced comedy we've seen in a long time.


    Amazon Customers Go Rogue, Hilariously Review Bic's Idiotic Pen for Women
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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Those are so great!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    These are hilarious!
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    I'm dying!

    I loved this one from the Amazon UK site:



    228 of 229 people found the following review helpful
    A treatise on the suitability of the pink pen, 16 Aug 2012
    By
    You Don't Need My Real Name


    This review is from: BIC For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen (Box of 12) - Black (Office Product)
    Pray, what is a 'pen'? I do like it so, because it is so pink, but I remain ignorant as to its practical use. Father says not to ask questions because it might give me wrinkles, and to carry on practising my charming giggle so I can one day ensnare a Duke - but I cannot help but be intrigued by the delicate pinkness of this curio. I can only assume that because it is pink, it is intended for a woman's useage. I am a woman, therefore perhaps I should have this pink so-called pen?

    Does one place it delicately in the hair? Could one perhaps keep it in a box and take it out to peer at on occasion, when Father is busy in the library (wherever that is)? Is it an appropriate subject for after-dinner conversation? Might one take it on a lovely picnic in Hyde Park?

    Naturally, we women are single-mindedly intrigued and captivated by the appearance and beauty of all things. It is almost as if my very womanhood calls out to objects of this colour and demands to be in possession of anything which combines the fascinating shading of red and white. If the 'pen' (an ugly name, I think) were not so pink, I should never have noticed it nor considered its potentialities as a purchase.

    However, I am frightened and cautious as well as capricious and flighty, such as only a woman can be. Upon consultation with my conscience, I cannot in all good faith acquire such an item without being fully apprised as to its application. Now that I think upon it, I have heard mutterings about the use of 'pens' amongst Father's business associates whilst pouring the tea for them (though I am sure they cannot have pink ones! An absurd notion!), and this would indicate that they are wholly inappropriate utensils for the fairer sex. I fear I have been enticed into unhealthy enquiry by the dazzling genius of the manufacturer. In colouring this object so, he has perhaps some deviant purpose in mind, correctly assuming that one such as myself may happen upon it and be naturally, helplessly seduced by the hue irresistable.

    I shall not be tempted. I shall not enquire nor express any future enquiry as to the purpose of the pink pen. I must not feel it throb in my fingers, if indeed that is where it is intended to be placed. I shall endeavor henceforth to merely collect other pink objects; shells, ribbons and pretty trinkets such as might be suitable for a girl of marriagable age and limited mental capacity.

    Yours &tc.

    Amazon.co.uk: You Don't Need My Real Name's review of BIC For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen (Bo...

    BIC For Her Amber Medium Ballpoint Pen (Box of 12) - Black: Amazon.co.uk: Office Products

    I want to know the person that didn't find that review helpful.
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    These are hilarious. I had no idea there was a specific pen just for me.

    There are a lot of hilarious Amazon reviews for various products.The one for Uranium Ore had me loling:
    Uranium Ore: Amazon.com: Industrial & Scientific

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizzybabe View Post
    These are hilarious. I had no idea there was a specific pen just for me.

    There are a lot of hilarious Amazon reviews for various products.The one for Uranium Ore had me loling:
    Uranium Ore: Amazon.com: Industrial & Scientific
    OMG-those are so funny! I am still laughing. Mutant ants!
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Default Hilarious Reviews Of A Bic Pen "Just For Women"

    Hilarious Reviews Of A Pen Just For Women
    “It's good that BIC are finally doing something to aid the plight of women.”










    BITTER and MsChiff like this.

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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    what will they think of next.
    Loving the snarky responses, though.
    Good luck getting a cat to do anything let alone join in on your sexcapades. - Air Quotes

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    Elite Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Manpens!
    ><((((º>·. ¸¸. ·´¯`·.¸¸><((((º>><((((º>`·.¸¸.··´¯`·...¸><((((º>¸.·´¯`·.. ><((((º> `·.¸¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>

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    Elite Member MsChiff's Avatar
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    this is hilarious. I love the first one.
    Waterslide likes this.

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    Elite Member Waterslide's Avatar
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    I love the first one, too! That's sig material right there!

    Hey Mohandas, WCG posted this story over here.

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/lif...pen-women.html

    It's got some good reviews, too.
    MsChiff likes this.
    Gross, put it away. You could dress beautifully but you gotta be Miss Granny Panty Whore.
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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Waterslide View Post
    I love the first one, too! That's sig material right there!

    Hey Mohandas, WCG posted this story over here.

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/lif...pen-women.html

    It's got some good reviews, too.
    Oh, hey, thanks! I didn't think that someone might put it there. I wonder if these threads can be merged together. WCG's has an actual intro, so maybe mine could go under hers....
    Waterslide likes this.

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    Super Moderator Tati's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MohandasKGanja View Post
    Oh, hey, thanks! I didn't think that someone might put it there. I wonder if these threads can be merged together. WCG's has an actual intro, so maybe mine could go under hers....
    Watch and tremble in the presence of my power...
    MohandasKGanja likes this.
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    Elite Member BITTER's Avatar
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    Many years ago, Dodge/Chrysler created a car called LaFemme, endowing it with equipment they thought women needed in a car.

    The Dodge La Femme



    Even in Eisenhower mode, with women supposedly returning to their pre-war "traditional" roles as wives and mothers, the car failed. Maybe because women needed cars pretty much for the same reasons as men.

    Notice the use of pastel colors - in the car and in the BIC pens....whatEVERRRRR.
    Good luck getting a cat to do anything let alone join in on your sexcapades. - Air Quotes

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    Elite Member Brookie's Avatar
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    The first Mary Kay mobile.

    endowing it with equipment they thought women needed in a car.
    Like a built-in, pop-up vibrator? A fully-equipped bar in the console? Black out windows? I see none of these on a LaFemme.
    OrangeSlice likes this.
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