Genuine quotes from the files of Galway County Council Housing

[Tiara]

Genuine quotes from the files of Galway County Council Housing
dept...

"My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage has fungus
growing in it."


"He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take
it any more."


"It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow."


"I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burned my
knob off."


"Their 18 year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence."


"I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I
think it was the bad wind the other night that blew them off."


"My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand?"


"I am writing on behalf of my sink."


"Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and
fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant."


"I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen."


"50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain
filthy."


"The toilet is blocked and we can't bath the children until it is cleared."


"Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces."


"I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at
6.00am his cock wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me."


"The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is
unsightly and dangerous.


"Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so
please send someone around to do something about it."


"I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do
something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night."


"Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my
wife."


"I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have
no satisfaction."

[SVZ]

"50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain
filthy."

This one sounds stupid at first, but it's technically possible, it'd be more clear if I could draw a venn diagram, but it doesn't mention that 50% of the walls are damp, and the other 50% is so walls could be damp, crumbling and filthy!