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Thread: Oddity: 100 year old prostitute still going strong

  1. #1
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Default Oddity: 100 year old prostitute still going strong

    100 year old prostitute still going strong


    By Tessie Theuma – Happy fluffy story correspondent
    Sitting on her plastic-covered scarlet arm-chair in the boudoir of her Gzira home, one would be forgiven for thinking Doris Borg is just a regular sweet old granny. But while she is indeed sweet as kannoli, she also has a more illicit side: she is Malta’s oldest working prostitute.


    The silver-haired “anzjana tat-triq“, as she calls herself, celebrated her birthday on January 2, surrounded by prominent politicians, businessmen, lawyers and members of the clergy, all of whom were in costume to protect their identities. “I so enjoyed lapping up their warm greetings,” she beams.
    Doris says she has been in the world’s oldest profession ever since she can remember. She comes from a long line of ladies of the night. “My mother was a prostitute, and her mother before her. Her mother was a cloistered nun so I’m not sure what happened there. There hasn’t been a proper male member of the family for generations.”
    During her long life, the centenarian has lived through her fair share of momentous events. She has particularly fond memories of World War II. “All those marines,” she says wistfully. “Some historian say the invasion of Sicily might not have succeeded had the entire British 51st infantry division not spent a moral-boosting night with me before they shipped out.”
    How has she managed to live for so long? “Well I’m lucky enough to do what I love, even though I don’t love who I do most of the time. I’ve never had a break, except for my hip of course.
    “Also, a Ghanaian former witchdoctor once told me his seed had life-giving properties. It appears to have worked.”
    Doris admits that due to her advanced age, the market she caters for is somewhat niche. “For men who are almost into necrophilia but not quite” say her ads on Maltapark. “Oh yes, I’m very web savvy,” she says. “One of my last clients, bless him, was a shy computer programmer, and he set up a Facebook page for me, which really helps to set up appointments since I can only cover about 30 metres of pavement in a day nowadays, and that’s with my Zimmer frame.
    She says advanced age has several advantages. “Losing all my teeth has been a Godsend, I can tell you. And if someone has a foot fetish, but also likes breasts, in my case they’re in the same general area.”
    Being more than a century old certainly hasn’t diminished her creativity either. “I can do more things with a tire-swing and a rolling pin than you could ever possibly imagine.”
    What does she think of her younger counterparts? “Bah, in my day we used to learn everything on the job, if you’ll pardon the pun. Hookers today don’t know they’re born, with their MCAST courses and ETC training schemes.”
    Despite the fact that her more glamourous days are arguably behind her, Doris has no intentions of retiring any time soon. “No matter how old I get I won’t stop bending over backwards to make sure my clients are satisfied.”
    » 100 year old prostitute still going strong Bis-Serjetà
    As Canadian as possible under the circumstances

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    "What's traitors, precious?" -- President Gollum

  2. #2
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
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    stolen and posted to my facebook.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

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    Elite Member Brah's Avatar
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    “Losing all my teeth has been a Godsend, I can tell you. And if someone has a foot fetish, but also likes breasts, in my case they’re in the same general area.”


  4. #4
    Elite Member shedevilang's Avatar
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    See this Venus this is the kind of dedication to the job that I expect from you lmao!
    Silly bitches, twitchy links are NOT for kids!-Mel

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    Elite Member darksithbunny's Avatar
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    “Well I’m lucky enough to do what I love, even though I don’t love who I do most of the time. I’ve never had a break, except for my hip of course.


    LOL!

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    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    She has a great sense of humor.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

    http://www.gossiprocks.com/forum/signaturepics/sigpic4098_9.gif Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

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    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    I love this woman!!!!
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

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    fgg
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    Elite Member fgg's Avatar
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    is this from the onion?
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

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    Elite Member McJag's Avatar
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    Very practical working woman.
    I didn't start out to collect diamonds, but somehow they just kept piling up.-Mae West

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    Elite Member Sleuth's Avatar
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    So sex really does keep you young!! I love her sense of humour.
    Alicia Silverstone: "I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."

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    She is all kinds of awesome! Wish I had a dash of her sassy attitude
    I'm a motherfucker and sell candles

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    Elite Member yanna's Avatar
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    Awww, she's adorable. Dunno if this is a hoax but I had a great laugh.
    What if Superman is psychotic and everyone can see that he's Clark Kent but they just play along not to set him off?

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    Hit By Ban Bus! Pippin's Avatar
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    “No matter how old I get I won’t stop bending over backwards to make sure my clients are satisfied.”

    She can still bend over backwards? I can't!

    I must steal this!

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    Elite Member PinkCadillac's Avatar
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    Haha I'm from Malta too She sounds awesome.

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