Mental Joke

Tiara · March 13th, 2006, 03:52 AM

Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph
suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and
stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the
bottom and pulled Ralph out.

When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she
immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
considered her to be mentally stable.

When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news
and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were
able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life
of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound
mindedness.

The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself right after
you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but
he's dead."

Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon
can I go home?"

southernbelle · March 15th, 2006, 04:07 PM

haha.. good one!

sweetrebel · March 20th, 2006, 01:20 PM

Sounds like some of the people I deal with!!!

loulou58 · March 22nd, 2006, 01:27 PM

haha

crazy people scare the shit out of me though!!

Tiara · March 23rd, 2006, 04:27 AM

Me too, you never know what to expect from them! My brother's boyfriend works at a mental home and he took my baby Chesney to see some of the 'inmates' or whatever you call them

coz they love animals, but one of them doesn't know his own strength and petted him so hard he yelped!! He's not allowed to visit them any more!

calendargurl · March 23rd, 2006, 05:49 AM

they scare me too. but old people scare me even worse.

Tiara · March 23rd, 2006, 05:53 AM

^^ What scares me even more is your avatar!!

Sojiita · March 23rd, 2006, 03:33 PM

Good joke.

but the truth about the mentally ill is that they are almost always the victims in life, not the predators, and you really should not be scared of them. It is the amoral selfish criminal trash that is really scary.

Tiara · March 24th, 2006, 04:10 AM

I'm scared of them because I feel like they don't know what they are doing sometimes, not that I think they are nasty or malicious. My brother's bf was working late one night and he fell asleep in the office, one of the patients broke into his office and decided brother's bf needed a haircut, but he didn't put the guard on the razor and cut his head pretty badly

AliceInWonderland · March 24th, 2006, 07:16 PM

Tiara more and more I have come to believe that under your cute facade lies and very sick and twisted soul!

Welcome to the Club!

Lobelia · March 24th, 2006, 08:25 PM

I did my internship at a psych ward in a very large city, and these people were the chronic cases who didn't respond to meds, and could never be let out. One lady had been there for over 40 years. My first day there, I was freaking out. Every hard-core type of psych case was in that ward, including schizophrenic murderers. The staff was so blase about it all. They gave me a key to an office that was down a looooooooooong hall, through locked double doors, and beyond.

I took a deep breath and started walking down the looooooooooong hall, toward the double doors. There were about 30 patients hanging out in the hall. As I walked, they started drifting toward me, and by the time I got to the double doors, they were all crowded behind me. No staff in sight. I started fumbling with my key at the double doors, thinking Oh please Jesus please please just get me out of here when the 40-year lady punched me in my arm & called me the N word. (I am white, btw.) I turned the key in the door, slipped behind it and SLAMMED it. Hyperventilating, of course.

Turns out, I loved it there, and that little old lady ended up my biggest fan. She was over 60 years old, and kept hollering that she was pregnant, and would piss herself, but she loved me so much she would always give me her jewelry, saying "here pretty girl, take this." At the end of each shift, I'd give it to the nursing staff & they'd return it.

Here's my joke:

An esteemed psychiatrist visted the psychiatric ward of a famous hospital. During the tour, he went down the hallway, and looked through the glass windows into various patients' rooms.

One man was vigorously swinging a hairbrush, as if it were a tennis racket. He lunged and swung with all his might. Through the vent, the psychiatrist asked, "And what are you doing, young man?" The patient replied, "I can't believe you're even asking me that. I'm Andre Agassi, and I'm training for Wimbledon."

Down the hall, and to the next room. The doctor saw a young man intently holding a clothes hanger, with feet squared off & staring at the ground. He then swung an imaginary golf club. The doctor asked, "What about you, young man, what are you doing?" The patient replied, "I can't believe you're even asking me that. I'm Tiger Woods, and I'm training for the Masters."

On to the next room, where the doctor looked in and saw a man lying naked on his bed, with pecans covering his penis. The doctor asked, "Young man, what are you doing?" The patient replied, "I can't believe you're even asking me that. I'm fucking nuts."