Results 1 to 11 of 11

Thread: Mental Joke

  1. #1
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    8,106

    Default Mental Joke

    Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.

    One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Ralph
    suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and
    stayed there. Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the
    bottom and pulled Ralph out.

    When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act, she
    immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now
    considered her to be mentally stable.

    When she went to tell Edna the news she said, "Edna, I have good news
    and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged; since you were
    able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life
    of another patient, I have concluded that your act displays sound
    mindedness.

    The bad news is, Ralph, the patient you saved, hung himself right after
    you saved him with his bathrobe belt in the bathroom. I am so sorry, but
    he's dead."

    Edna replied "He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon
    can I go home?"
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  2. #2
    Elite Member southernbelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    9,578

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    haha.. good one!

  3. #3
    Elite Member sweetrebel's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    northwest mississippi
    Posts
    5,576

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    Sounds like some of the people I deal with!!!
    THE EASIEST WAY OUT IS THROUGH....

  4. #4
    Elite Member loulou58's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    In a room full of JBF's
    Posts
    3,893

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    haha crazy people scare the shit out of me though!!

  5. #5
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    8,106

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    Me too, you never know what to expect from them! My brother's boyfriend works at a mental home and he took my baby Chesney to see some of the 'inmates' or whatever you call them coz they love animals, but one of them doesn't know his own strength and petted him so hard he yelped!! He's not allowed to visit them any more!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  6. #6
    Elite Member calendargurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Valley of the Dolls
    Posts
    3,235

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    they scare me too. but old people scare me even worse.

  7. #7
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    8,106

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    ^^ What scares me even more is your avatar!!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  8. #8
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Central Duh-hio
    Posts
    22,811

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    Good joke. but the truth about the mentally ill is that they are almost always the victims in life, not the predators, and you really should not be scared of them. It is the amoral selfish criminal trash that is really scary.

  9. #9
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    8,106

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    I'm scared of them because I feel like they don't know what they are doing sometimes, not that I think they are nasty or malicious. My brother's bf was working late one night and he fell asleep in the office, one of the patients broke into his office and decided brother's bf needed a haircut, but he didn't put the guard on the razor and cut his head pretty badly
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  10. #10
    Hit By Ban Bus! AliceInWonderland's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    you already know.
    Posts
    44,442

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    Tiara more and more I have come to believe that under your cute facade lies and very sick and twisted soul!

    Welcome to the Club!

  11. #11
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    a backwards hillbilly state
    Posts
    20,801

    Default Re: Mental Joke

    I did my internship at a psych ward in a very large city, and these people were the chronic cases who didn't respond to meds, and could never be let out. One lady had been there for over 40 years. My first day there, I was freaking out. Every hard-core type of psych case was in that ward, including schizophrenic murderers. The staff was so blase about it all. They gave me a key to an office that was down a looooooooooong hall, through locked double doors, and beyond.

    I took a deep breath and started walking down the looooooooooong hall, toward the double doors. There were about 30 patients hanging out in the hall. As I walked, they started drifting toward me, and by the time I got to the double doors, they were all crowded behind me. No staff in sight. I started fumbling with my key at the double doors, thinking Oh please Jesus please please just get me out of here when the 40-year lady punched me in my arm & called me the N word. (I am white, btw.) I turned the key in the door, slipped behind it and SLAMMED it. Hyperventilating, of course.

    Turns out, I loved it there, and that little old lady ended up my biggest fan. She was over 60 years old, and kept hollering that she was pregnant, and would piss herself, but she loved me so much she would always give me her jewelry, saying "here pretty girl, take this." At the end of each shift, I'd give it to the nursing staff & they'd return it.

    Here's my joke:

    An esteemed psychiatrist visted the psychiatric ward of a famous hospital. During the tour, he went down the hallway, and looked through the glass windows into various patients' rooms.

    One man was vigorously swinging a hairbrush, as if it were a tennis racket. He lunged and swung with all his might. Through the vent, the psychiatrist asked, "And what are you doing, young man?" The patient replied, "I can't believe you're even asking me that. I'm Andre Agassi, and I'm training for Wimbledon."

    Down the hall, and to the next room. The doctor saw a young man intently holding a clothes hanger, with feet squared off & staring at the ground. He then swung an imaginary golf club. The doctor asked, "What about you, young man, what are you doing?" The patient replied, "I can't believe you're even asking me that. I'm Tiger Woods, and I'm training for the Masters."

    On to the next room, where the doctor looked in and saw a man lying naked on his bed, with pecans covering his penis. The doctor asked, "Young man, what are you doing?" The patient replied, "I can't believe you're even asking me that. I'm fucking nuts."
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
    Emma Peel aka Pacific Breeze aka Wilde1 aka gogodancer aka maribou

    Yip, yip, yip in your tiny indignation. Bark furiously on, lady dog.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Mental problems soared after Katrina
    By JamieElizabeth in forum News
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: November 9th, 2006, 03:03 PM
  2. Pentagon Document Classifies Homosexuality as Mental Disorder
    By ohmygoodness in forum U.S. Politics and Issues
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: June 23rd, 2006, 04:19 PM
  3. Fat Joke
    By Tiara in forum Laughs and Oddities
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: March 23rd, 2006, 04:44 PM
  4. Replies: 5
    Last Post: March 22nd, 2006, 01:49 PM
  5. Man Joke
    By Tiara in forum Laughs and Oddities
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: January 15th, 2006, 05:17 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •