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Thread: If men wrote advice columns

  1. #1
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    The First Presleytarian Church Of Elvis The Divine

    Default If men wrote advice columns

    if men wrote advice columns

    Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me.

    A: Obviously, your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing, your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

    Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.

    A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day, then cook him a nice meal.

    Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.

    A: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (its a great time to clean the house too!) Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you an your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

    Q: My husband doesnít know where my clitoris is.

    A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal.

    Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

    A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to men is stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as your should. He should never have to work to
    get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you
    can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.

    Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one.

    A: Iím not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps youíve forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
    How You Durrin ?

  2. #2
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005

    Default Re: If men wrote advice columns

    Those are good!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  3. #3
    Elite Member loulou58's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    In a room full of JBF's

    Default Re: If men wrote advice columns

    Ive been emailed that before it made me giggle so much cos i can just imagine some fella saying it all!! its so true!!

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