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Thread: The 20 male poses of Facebook

  1. #1
    Elite Member Chalet's Avatar
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    Default The 20 male poses of Facebook


    #1: The High Contrast/Photoshop Filter/iSight Shot


    This is the equivalent of walking around wearing a half mask and a cape like the Phantom of the Opera. You’re hiding something. And there’s a large possibility that something is a skin problem.

    #2: The Prepster at a Function Shot


    He could be at a wedding, cocktail party, engagement party, sailing team reception, whatever. Either way he inevitably graduated from Wake Forest and now works for Ernst & Young.

    #3: The Just Hangin’ with my Bros Shot


    Whereas girls have an odd ability to quickly line up in cute formation, hug and make a kissy face to the girl to their left, guys have the ability to stand next to their bros, look awkward, barely touch each other and look stoic. SMILING IS FOR PUSSIES BITCH! NOW GET ME A NATTY LIGHT!

    #4: The Too Much Party For One Picture Shot


    Dude, I was so fucked up that night. Who were those girls?

    #5: The I Love my Girlfriend Shot


    Awww you love your girlfriend! Sadly 9 times out of 10 the girlfriend withheld sex or whined uncontrollably until he put this as his pic to ward off evil sluts and give his bros something to laugh at him for. There’s nothing like forced love.

    Speaking of couples…#6: The Me & My Girlfriend Support a Team! Shot


    I was surprised at how many of these there were. I actually find this less offensive than The I Love my Girlfriend Shot. It’s less forced and involves beer.

    #7: The THIS GUY! Shot


    One of my all time favorite poses. It always makes me wonder, what is it about that guy? That Guy always seems kind of lame and bro-like. What is it about him that makes you not only like him enough to share your Facebook profile pic real estate with him, but also point directly at him? This kid man…this guy…

    #8: The Drunk Guido Shot


    There’s beautiful consistency in these shots. Ingredients to make a Drunken Guido Shot: year round tan, gelled up hair, groomed eyebrows, designer suit, shirt open, expensive mix drink in hand (optional: slutty girl named Alexa on your arm, name of the lounge’s website at the bottom, usually containing “Nite Life” somewhere, proving that you’re so hot, you’re a local celebrity.) Now aggressively point to the camera like the photographer just insulted your mother’s lasagna.

    #9: The I Don’t Know if you Know, But I Work Out Shot


    This is an extreme version, but I had to share. Usually this shot is of a guy who just happens to have his shirt off and who just happens to have a 12 pack and just happens to be flexing at the moment someone randomly took their picture.

    #10: The Wacky, Fun Guy Shot


    I would date this guy and then be surprised when it turns out he has a drug problem and treats me like shit.

    #11: The Babby Daddy Shot


    When I have a kid, I think I’m going to retire all of this Internet socializing. Know why? Because I’ll be too busy actually raising my kid and not virtually poking people. (That’s a lie and we both know it.)

    #12: The Just Jamming with my Band Shot


    So emo, I’m not even mad.

    #13: The Seasonably Inappropriate Shot


    God knows you looked good in that James Bond costume, but it’s June, time to switch up the photo. I have to admit, I have been victim to this shot myself. I have this one picture of myself in my sophomore year Halloween costume where I look ridiculously cute. It’s sort of blurred, I’m wearing Playboy bunny ears and I was caught at the best angle ever. I think I rocked that picture for like 8 months straight before I finally had to retire it. But, all good things must come to end…so let’s retire all Halloween costume pictures, sitting on Santa’s lap shots, and maybe even drunk St. Patrick’s Day pics. Look forward to Earth Day on the 22nd!

    #14: The Self-Photographer Shot


    Not to be confused with…

    #15: The Self-Cell-Photographer Shot


    The shittier version of an already shitty action. But then there’s always…

    #16: The Accidental Self-Photographer Shot


    God Damnit I love these. You can crop a photo all you want, but the telltale elevated shoulder will always give you away. I love these because the photographer/subject truly believes that we will believe he was just caught by someone in this moment of pensive thought. But this isn’t even the height of social retardation and self-photography! We still have…

    #17: The Future Pedophile of America Shot


    What the fuck? Are you trying to tell me that you don’t have one friend who could take a picture of your creepy ass? Not one person? You’re just forced to sit there in a dark room, creepily lit up by your computer monitor and take it yourself with your web cam? And are you so into your porn and/or Myst game that you can’t be bothered to look in the damn lens and smile? These make me want to take a shower immediately…

    #18: The Fuck You Shot


    So, let me get t his straight— you’re too cool for Facebook, yet there’s calculated effort to seem badass and aloof. And every Fuck You Shot I found was of a fat little middle schooler like this one. Kid, get a friend and let your hair grow in.

    #19: The Throwin’ a Hand Sign Shot


    A classic. I understand the need to be doing something with your hands when taking a picture; it’s a little awkward. But a good gang sign or shocker is much better than the middle finger (you little Columbine-esque freak). I don’t know how many pictures exist of me throwing the shocker (not because I enjoy it, just because it makes people uncomfortable and is badass.) However, what is that sign this guy is doing??? It’s…

    #20: THE MYSTERY HAND GESTURE SHOT
    Ok. What’s going on here? Seriously, what is that? A consistently sideways peace sign? That has to mean something. 20 points to the first person who solves this mystery.


    I saw it countless times during my photo-research.





    http://www.2birds1blog.com/2008/04/20-male-poses-of-facebook.html

  2. #2
    Elite Member C_is_for_Cookie's Avatar
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    I think I have all of these on my friends list.

  3. #3
    Elite Member PoisonGirl's Avatar
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    #14 & #15 are very popular. lol
    “You never know what's around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you've climbed a mountain.” - Tom Hiddleston

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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Don't forget the "Duckface" shot.

    But I see more females doing that now
    My Posts Have Won Awards. Can Any Of You Claim The Same? -ur_next_ex

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    Elite Member Just Kill Me's Avatar
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    What is the deal with the hand finger stuff? I just don't understand, do their arms and hands flap about uncontrollably unless they do that shit?
    KILLING ME WON'T BRING BACK YOUR GOD DAMNED HONEY!!!!!!!!!!

    Come on, let's have lots of drinks.

    Fuck you all, I'm going viral.

  6. #6
    Gold Member eboni's Avatar
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    I know for sure several of those guys are in my friends list, lol.
    ...Stopped smoking on March 8, 2011. Was trying to put a fancy ticker in my signature but it didn't work...

  7. #7
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    Cute article. I'm going to look at my friends list now...
    "I've cautiously embraced jeggings"
    Emma Peel aka Pacific Breeze aka Wilde1 aka gogodancer aka maribou

    Yip, yip, yip in your tiny indignation. Bark furiously on, lady dog.

  8. #8
    Elite Member Sundance's Avatar
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    I've seen every one of these
    “The thing that attracts people to “The Sopranos” is the family element. It shows that America still has a longing for that traditional upbringing.” Christine O'Donnell

  9. #9
    Silver Member Doctora Pepper's Avatar
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    #2 isn't bad. I'm friends with some of my TA's and students who have pics like that. I think they work for the other big 4, not E&Y. Anyone who doesn't know anything about accounting won't get my post.

  10. #10
    Elite Member celeb_2006's Avatar
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    So sick of 'hand sign' shots. WTF, these wanna be wanksters. Anyone not in a real gang making these stupid hand signs should get their arses kicked.

  11. #11
    Gold Member eboni's Avatar
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    Reminds me of this group I joined on FB:
    "dude, you're surrounded by cornfields you're not a gangster"
    ...Stopped smoking on March 8, 2011. Was trying to put a fancy ticker in my signature but it didn't work...

  12. #12
    Elite Member Palermo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by celeb_2006 View Post
    So sick of 'hand sign' shots. WTF, these wanna be wanksters. Anyone not in a real gang making these stupid hand signs should get their arses kicked.
    Amen. The one I hate the most is the "v" with the tongue in between, girls and boys both do it. Yeah we get it, you're so dirty

  13. #13
    Elite Member Voodoo Child's Avatar
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    hahahhaaha yeah I have them all on my friends list probably twice over!!

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