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Thread: A Gluteal Cleft Shield Is What Every Classy Girl Needs

  1. #1
    Elite Member Honey's Avatar
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    Default A Gluteal Cleft Shield Is What Every Classy Girl Needs



    How low can you go? The only thing classier than letting your "gluteal cleft" hang out of low-rise jeans is covering it up with a decorative patch. You can choose from butterflies, chandeliers, fleur de lis, hearts, and peace signs (what, no whale tail?) and dress like it's 1999 well into the 21st century.
    I'd say this is a joke, but a publicist is looking for someone to take on designer Kimberlily, maker of Backtacular, as a client. After all, it's not just for looks! "Itís a hypoallergenic adhesive patch" that is "applied directly to the skin above the gluteal cleft area of the buttocks."

    Wear Low-Rise Jeans Forever With the Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield

  2. #2
    Elite Member heart_leigh's Avatar
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    A gluteal cleft shield?

    I guess it does sound better than calling it a butt crack protector.
    Rock the fuck on!

  3. #3
    Elite Member angelais's Avatar
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    The name sounds so medieval. How about wearing some jeans that fit?
    Did you know that an anagram for "Conscious Uncoupling" is "Iconic Uncool Pus Guns"? - MohandasKGanja

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    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
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    I'm buying a whole bunch of these! I'm sick of seeing butt cracks at work! Save that shit for at home!
    Free Charmed.

  5. #5
    Elite Member Karistiona's Avatar
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    Ditto Nov! There are a few people who if they're not showing off their butt crack they're showing off their lacy pants. Not nice.
    I smile because I have no idea what's going on

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    Elite Member VenusInFauxFurs's Avatar
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    Do they come in Playboy bunny ears?
    When your daughter plays "House," she pretends to be an annoying doctor with a pill-addiction and a limp.

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    Elite Member Jezi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VenusInFauxFurs View Post
    Do they come in Playboy bunny ears?
    Or a bunny tail.

  8. #8
    Elite Member MontanaMama's Avatar
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    Man those ads are classy, ya got the bra straps hanging out and a patch for the ass. Sign me up.
    If i hear one more personal attack, i will type while drunk, then you can cry! - Bugdoll
    (716): I'd call her a cunt, but she doesn't seem to have the depth or warmth
    Quote Originally Posted by shedevilang View Post
    (Replying to MontanaMama) This is some of the smartest shit I ever read

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    Silver Member Abbey Normal's Avatar
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    ...of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

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