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Thread: The Creepiest Kids Books Ever

  1. #1
    Elite Member Moongirl's Avatar
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    Red face The Creepiest Kids Books Ever

    The Creepiest Children's Books Ever (PICTURES)

    Joined At Birth: The Lives Of Conjoined Twins

    "One Nation Indivisible," indeed

    The Pocket Book Of BONERS

    If someone tells you they have a "pocket book of boners," you should probably turn and walk in the other direction. No wait, run.

    It Hurts When I Poop!

    T-M-I, little one! But seriously, where did he get that awesome dinosaur toilet paper holder? We just have that simple plastic one, and it doesn't dole out hugs.

    Gay-Time Painting Book

    Granted, they probably mean "gay" as in "happy." But the goat's horn up the bum and creepy farmer looking on approvingly? Something not so "happy" is going on.

    Who Cares About Disabled People?

    Wow, book. Way to be a Jerk! What's next, "Who Cares About Elderly People?"

    One, Two, Three, Pull!

    That's what she said...?

    Standing Up

    Do little boys really need a book to tell them how to do this?

    Hair In Funny Places

    "Yep, that's some armpit hair." -Dr. Ted. E. Bear, M.D.

    Cooking With Pooh

    You'd think the creators of this book would have been familiar enough with children to know what they think upon hearing the word "Pooh."

    Where Willy Went...

    Unfortunately, the answer to that question is going to be disgusting 99% of the time.

    A Scary Thing Happened

    We're going to go ahead and say a tornado or a car accident aren't exactly on the same "scary thing" scale as 9/11. The fact that it's a coloring book makes it even worse.

    Ma! There's Nothing To Do Here!

    Pro-Life pamphlets would be a lot more effective if they went the whole "your fetus can complain inside you" route.

    My Two Uncles

    We're in no way saying having gay uncles is creepy, but this book cover showing two grown men hovering over an androgynous child with creepy smiles definitely sends the wrong message.

    I Wish Daddy Didn't Drink So Much

    Yikes! What happened to escapism? Please go to "Narnia," or something!

    Hiroshima No Pika

    Somehow, an illustrated book with nude corpses on the cover is not how we'd go about explaining nuclear war to children.

    The Long Journey Of Mr. Poop

    A wolf in a lab coat saying "Yum" at a giant turd isn't even the weirdest thing on this book cover. Maybe it's the fact that Mr. Poop (or Senor Caca) is wearing a beret and plaid golfer pants.

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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Babette Cole writes great kids books. I wouldn't put that one on the list.

    How about this little gem about a girl visiting her dad in jail? Amazon.com: Visiting Day (9780590400053): Jacqueline Woodson, James Ransome: Books

    Hmmm. frequently purchased with: Amazon.com: "It's Just a Plant, a Children's Story of Marijuana" (9780976011729): Ricardo Cortes: Books I guess we know why daddy is in jail.
    As Canadian as possible under the circumstances

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    Elite Member chartreuse's Avatar
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    at some of those.

    somebody got our baby the book, "i love you forever" by robert munsch. talk about creepy...i couldn't believe how that book is kind of considered a classic for kids. i think i'll be hiding that one in the back of the bookshelf.
    white, black, puerto rican/everybody just a freakin'/good times were rollin'.


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    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    I love that one. It's so sad.
    As Canadian as possible under the circumstances

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    "What's traitors, precious?" -- President Gollum

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    Gold Member emkat's Avatar
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    The Giving Tree scarred me for life.
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    Elite Member msdeb's Avatar
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    this one made me freaking laugh right out loud. LOL
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    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ang View Post
    at some of those.

    somebody got our baby the book, "i love you forever" by robert munsch. talk about creepy...i couldn't believe how that book is kind of considered a classic for kids. i think i'll be hiding that one in the back of the bookshelf.
    I love that book. We have it, and my kids ask me to read it to them fairly frequently. However, it is kind of weird picturing a little old lady breaking into her adult son's house late at night to rock him to sleep (especially since he's already asleep).

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    My kids used to refer to "I love you forever" as their secret weapon because it could instantly reduce me to a blubbering mass of tears. (My mom passed away when I was 21 and one of the last times she was really awake and out of bed, she came into my room to hold me because I was having a bad dream and crying in my sleep.)

    Anyway, my kids quickly realized that they could manipulate me with that book and would amuse themselves seeing how fast I would cry.

    The books shown here are quite a delight, though. I particularly love the viaje del senor caca.

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    Gold Member Little Goon's Avatar
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    Uh, without sounding too weird. . . I have actually read, "Where Willy Went" and thought it was a great book. It was really funny, actually.
    I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them. - George W. Bush

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    Elite Member Beeyotch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by msdeb View Post

    this one made me freaking laugh right out loud. LOL
    Me too!

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    Elite Member angelais's Avatar
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    These are real books? My son is 7. When do I go out and grab a copy of "Hair In Funny Places"?
    Did you know that an anagram for "Conscious Uncoupling" is "Iconic Uncool Pus Guns"? - MohandasKGanja

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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Well, my kid is 11 but not quite a year ago he started to get that underarm smell that I noticed when he was stood next to my comp still wearing his gym clothes from school that day. He's been wearing deodorant/antiperspirant daily ever since. I don't remember getting underarm smell that early, but surely I must have. Cause by 11 I was dealing with maxi pads. Not sure if he has any "hair in funny places". He's very modest about anyone seeing him naked now, which is probably normal.
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    Elite Member WhateverLolaWants's Avatar
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    My Stepson, who has been in my life almost 11 years now, freaks out if I go near the door to his room or the bathroom when he's changing. If I knock, he's like, "I'M GETTING DRESSED!!!!!!" 0o0

    So yeah, its normal
    ----------------------------
    There will be times you might leap before you look
    There'll be times you'll like the cover and that's precisely why you'll love the book
    Do it anyway

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    ^Gawd, I remember those years...I would show mine to just about anybody...hell, I still would.

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    I remember that "Where did I come from" book. Sex-ed book. The pics made us all giggle.
    When your daughter plays "House," she pretends to be an annoying doctor with a pill-addiction and a limp.

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