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Thread: How To Shower

  1. #1
    Elite Member Luna's Avatar
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    Default How To Shower

    How To Shower Like a Woman:
    Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper
    according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental
    note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
    Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
    long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit. Wash your face with crushed
    apricot
    facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
    Rinse conditioner off hair.
    Shave armpits and legs.
    Turn off shower.
    Squeegee all wet surfaces in shower.
    Spray mold spots with Tilex.
    Get out of shower and stand on bathmat.
    Dry with towel the size of a small country.
    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
    head. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
    areas.
    How To Shower Like a Man:
    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
    leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.
    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making
    the 'woo-woo' sound.
    Look at at your manly physique in the mirror.
    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
    Get in the shower.
    Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on
    the soap.
    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
    Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
    Dry off forearms and butt only.
    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging
    out of tub the whole time.
    Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water
    fly off.
    Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
    Dry off forearms and butt only.
    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging
    out of tub the whole time.
    Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water
    fly off.
    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan
    on.
    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
    make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on
    bed.
    If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth
    behind this, there is something so very wrong with you!
    Have a great day! And Woo-Woo!

  2. #2
    Elite Member Barbara's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    I'd like to be a guy just for one day, I want to have a wiener of my own to shake!
    Nope.

  3. #3
    Bronze Member
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    i laughed SO HARD at this cos i can just imagine my boyfriend do every single thing on here!!

  4. #4
    Silver Member tofucheesecake's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    I am literally laughing out loud at the "how the guy showers" part because it's so true!

  5. #5
    Elite Member Lobelia's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    I've seen this before, and it will always be one of my favorites!

  6. #6
    Elite Member calendargurl's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    How To Shower Like a Man:
    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
    leave them in a pile. Walk naked to the bathroom.
    If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making
    the 'woo-woo' sound.
    Look at at your manly physique in the mirror.
    Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
    Get in the shower.
    Wash your face. Wash your armpits.
    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
    Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on
    the soap.
    Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.
    Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
    Dry off forearms and butt only.
    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging
    out of tub the whole time.
    Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water
    fly off.
    Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bathmat.
    Dry off forearms and butt only.
    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging
    out of tub the whole time.
    Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water
    fly off.
    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan
    on.
    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.
    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and
    make the 'woo-woo' sound again. Throw wet towel on
    bed.
    someone's been spying on my boyfriend!!

  7. #7
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    Hahaha, so true!! There is ALWAYS a pool of water on the floor whenever my bf has showered.
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  8. #8
    Elite Member calendargurl's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    at least i know now that my boyfriend isn't the only one who likes to shake his weiner at stuff.

  9. #9
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    ^^ Haha, that was actually the only bit my bf doesn't do! I'm so glad, I'd find that the most unattractive thing EVER!
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  10. #10
    A*O
    A*O is offline
    Friend of Gossip Rocks! A*O's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    And THEN he wants sex - it's the only reason they take a shower in the first place.
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
    Dame Edna Everage

    Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

  11. #11
    Hit By Ban Bus! UndercoverGator's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    Quote Originally Posted by A*O
    And THEN he wants sex - it's the only reason they take a shower in the first place.

    Amen! That's what all the nekkid weiner shakage is all about. Crude foreplay.

  12. #12
    Elite Member Tiara's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    ^^ I do that!

    The snot in hand thing not waggling my dick about and shouting 'you want some of this!'
    No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry
    G_ F_CK Y__RS_LF - Would you like to buy a vowel??

  13. #13
    Elite Member loulou58's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    it hurts my wiener if i shake mine too much

  14. #14
    Elite Member Sojiita's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    The best way to shower is to have some hot guy in there with you! who cares about the rest then!

  15. #15
    Elite Member sweetrebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: How To Shower

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiara
    ^^ I do that!

    The snot in hand thing not waggling my dick about and shouting 'you want some of this!'
    Girl, you crack me up! Looking at your pics you seem so prim and proper but to hear (read) some of the shit you say!! You make me laugh out loud!!
    THE EASIEST WAY OUT IS THROUGH....

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