I'm getting a bit tired of all those namby, pamby, girly, sissy, completely wet "friendship" poems, that never come close to reality? So here is a series of promises that really speaks to true friendship:
1 When you are sad - I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you that way.
2. When you are blue - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile - I will know you've had sex.
4. When you are scared - I will tease the crap out of you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be just to stop your bloody whining.
6. When you are confused - I will use only little words.
7. When you are sick - Stay the hell away from me until you are well again, I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall - I will point and laugh at your clumsiness.
This is my oath...I pledge it till the end. Why you may ask? Because you are my friend. Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because you can only think of two, and one of them isn't speaking to you right now anyway.
Remember: A good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.