May 10th, 2009, 03:18 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 18,212
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Texts from last night
texts from last night
Some of these are hilarious.. Basically texts people sent out when drunk..
"White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss."
"you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level."
"1. i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
2: ahah at least you got away with it
1: nope...my gran was the one who informed me"
"Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low."
"1. im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
2. dude. stop pregaming the food network."
__________________
And who knows which is which and who is who.
Up and down.
But in the end it's only round and round.
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May 11th, 2009, 03:11 AM
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#2 (permalink)
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Gold Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,064
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Is Ina always drunk??
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May 11th, 2009, 07:31 AM
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#3 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Trolltopia
Posts: 18,772
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"Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low."
 Been there, done that.
__________________
A pack of roving bitches
are said to be witches
all the way from hell
their leader is Mel.
-Effie-
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May 11th, 2009, 08:15 AM
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#4 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Aaron Eckhart's chin dimple
Posts: 4,248
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I love this website!
(208): I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
(805): she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
__________________
Loved NYC!! Impressed with subway navigation skills! 
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May 11th, 2009, 02:53 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 5,049
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Just heard about this last week and I love it!
My favorite for the day:
(916): I hate ducks.
(916): What?
(916): they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celestial
I also choose to believe the rumors because I am, when it is all said and done, a dirty gossip.
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May 11th, 2009, 03:03 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Southern US
Posts: 14,566
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Sketch?
__________________
No parking baby. No parking on the dance floor.
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May 11th, 2009, 03:05 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Over the hills and far away
Posts: 18,212
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Squirrels are sketch as fuck. I know from experience. 
"(207): I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid."
"( 702): I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal."
"(404): My penis looks like a roll of pennies
(303): Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
(404): Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird..."
"(845): i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen"
"(631): If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me."
"(512): I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
(1-512): Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply"
__________________
And who knows which is which and who is who.
Up and down.
But in the end it's only round and round.
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May 11th, 2009, 03:06 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,144
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Thank you for posting this site.. it has occupied my day.. All day.
__________________
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
~Anatole France~
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May 11th, 2009, 03:06 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Argyll, Scotland
Posts: 4,364
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"i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen " ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! This site is just too funny!
__________________
I smile because I have no idea what's going on 
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May 11th, 2009, 03:30 PM
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#10 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in Hell. I drove the bus here.
Posts: 23,193
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alright, everyone of you GR peeps get off of the site, so i can look!
Network Timeout
The server at www.textsfromlastnight.com is taking too long to respond.
The requested site did not respond to a connection request and the browser has stopped waiting for a reply.
* Could the server be experiencing high demand or a temporary outage? Try again later.
__________________
If you see me in a Megan Fox thread, please proceed to beat the everloving shit out of me.
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May 11th, 2009, 03:44 PM
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#11 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,144
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(310): Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
(770): b/c u have herpes
(310): No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
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(816): She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
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(310): i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
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707): I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
__________________
Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened.
~Anatole France~
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May 11th, 2009, 03:55 PM
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#12 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Cuntopia
Posts: 20,194
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850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
(850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You assholes, I just took the damned pictures off my window into the hall & now I'm sitting here laughing so hard I'm crying!
__________________
"Beyonce is a fast-moving ball of weave and destruction"
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May 11th, 2009, 03:55 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Virginia
Posts: 5,049
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For all my GR "Social" butterflies! 
(254): Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Celestial
I also choose to believe the rumors because I am, when it is all said and done, a dirty gossip.
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May 11th, 2009, 03:59 PM
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#14 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Back of Beyond
Posts: 8,319
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(850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
(850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Thank you Jebus! I love this site!
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May 11th, 2009, 04:05 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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Elite Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Back of Beyond
Posts: 8,319
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(507): I want your puppy
(507): I meant pussy
(612): I would rather you take my puppy
I'm dying over here!!!!!!
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