texts from last night
Some of these are hilarious.. Basically texts people sent out when drunk..
"White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss."
"you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level."
"1. i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
2: ahah at least you got away with it
1: nope...my gran was the one who informed me"
"Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low."
"1. im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
2. dude. stop pregaming the food network."