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Thread: Abbott and Costello in the present

  1. #1
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    Default Abbott and Costello in the present

    Sorry if this has been posted or if it is really old. It's new to me and I thought it was cute.


    QUOTE
    If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch,"Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: Yes, I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking aboutbuying a computer.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: Your computer?
    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: What about Windows?
    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
    ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
    COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
    COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to writeproposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
    ABBOTT: I just did.
    COSTELLO: You just did what?
    ABBOTT: Recommended something.
    COSTELLO: You recommended something?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: For my office?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'msitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
    ABBOTT: WORD
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: WORD in Office.
    COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
    ABBOTT: The WORD in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
    ABBOTT: The WORD you get when you click the blue "W".
    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with somestraight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I cantrack my money with?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gives you a license to copy Money.
    COSTELLO: They can give me a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    A few days later:
    ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
    COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
    ABBOTT: Click on "START "
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

  2. #2
    Elite Member HWBL's Avatar
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    Default Re: Abbott and Costello in the present

    ^Hear, hear! Yeah, it's funny isn't it. I always like verbal misunderstandings. And it's always a bonus when not every second or third word is an explitive
    Warren Beatty: actor, director, writer, producer.

    ***** celeb

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