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Thread: The girl's guide to lesbian cliches and stereotypes

  1. #1
    Elite Member WhoAmI's Avatar
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    Default The girl's guide to lesbian cliches and stereotypes

    With all the predictable stereotypes foisted on unsuspecting readers of stories about Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson split, we asked you what the go-to lesbian stereotypes are these days, and, boy, did you guys deliver.

    As many of us know, all lesbians conform to a specific set of rules and regulations on everything from dress to sexual activity to emotions, rules that were not taught in secondary school. In the interest of helping America's youth - and the editors of aforementioned tabloid gossip magazines - we've decided to make those rules public. Take them out of the closet, if you will.

    Dress Code (Unless The Lesbian Is The Femme)

    * Appropriate footwear: Birkenstocks, Airwalks, chucks, Doc Martens or sports sandals. Socks are never optional.
    * Make-up: not allowed.
    * Undergarments: Bras are frowned upon.
    * Appropriate tops: flannel, more flannel, folksy prints and Polar fleece.
    * Appropriate bottoms: jeans, cords, jean shorts or walking shorts.
    * "Hygiene": Shaving of armpits or legs is frowned upon.
    * Accessories may include: Nalgene bottles; carabiners; keys at your belt; fanny packs; femme lesbians who only dress girly for the attention or to get a real man.

    Lifestyle Attributes

    * Appropriate automobiles: Saabs, pickup trucks, Subaru Outbacks, Jeep Wranglers, Xterras, Mini Coopers and Volvos.
    * Pop cultural influences: Melissa Etheridge; Ani DiFranco; Indigo Girls; and The L Word. No exceptions.
    * Pets: At least one cat, and preferably more.
    * Food: Vegetarians preferred
    * Colleges/alma maters: Smith; Bryn Mawr; Mount Holyoke; and Wellesley.
    * Partner choices: Recruiting straight women preferred.
    * Career choices: P.E. teacher; basketball player; softball player; and professional golfer.

    Psychology

    * History: Must have been abused.
    * Oedipal Complex: Hatred of fathers, except when they over-identify with them.
    * Childhood Obsessions: Monkeys as pets.
    * Adult Obsessions: Hating men.
    * Penis Envy: Yes.
    * Child lust: No.

    Sex & Relationships

    * Onset of lesbianism: College until graduation, in some cases.
    * Conversion: Lesbians can be converted with one internal application of human penis.
    * Madonna/Whore Complex: Many are technically virgins, because they've never gotten down with a dude.
    * Roles: Every lesbian relationship has a butch and a femme.
    * Timing: Lesbians move in together on the second date.
    * Sex: Once two lesbians move in together, they will never have sex again.
    * Break Ups: Bunny boiling provides the maximum drama all lesbians require.
    http://jezebel.com/5205953/pssst-the...s--stereotypes

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    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    I go to the Gay Village for a night out every so often where I live and they just reinforce stereotypes. All crew cuts, no bras...I think they do it for a laugh.
    Ain't nothing wrong with Ohio wang! - MontanaMama

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    Elite Member sparkly's Avatar
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    What about "lipstick lesbians"?
    Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

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    Elite Member Rondette's Avatar
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    ^^^
    I think men made them up because 'real' lesbians are too scary for them too contemplate!

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    Elite Member *DIVA!'s Avatar
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    ^^ No they exist. They are very feminine women who love other women, but men don't understand why because they are 'so pretty'.
    Baltimore O's ​Fan!

    I don''t know if she really fucked the board though. Maybe just put the tip in. -Mrs. Dark

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    Elite Member Sarzy's Avatar
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    Portia de Rossi is a lipstick lesbian.

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    Elite Member *DIVA!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rondette View Post
    ^^^
    I think men made them up because 'real' lesbians are too scary for them too contemplate!
    How are 'real' lesbians scary?
    Baltimore O's ​Fan!

    I don''t know if she really fucked the board though. Maybe just put the tip in. -Mrs. Dark

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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    Hey...I wear chucks and jeans....love the L Word, have at least one cat and prefer to be a veggie. I'm almost there.

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    Elite Member Rondette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by *DIVA! View Post
    How are 'real' lesbians scary?
    They have no interest in men! What could be scarier to a man??

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    Elite Member cmmdee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rondette View Post
    ^^^
    I think men made them up because 'real' lesbians are too scary for them too contemplate!
    Not true. Lipstick lesbians exist.

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    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    oi, bulldykes are scary. As a man, i feel compelled to say that if you are male, gay or not, never wander onto a dancefloor filled with dieseldykes. YOu will get your ass handed to you faster than you can say "move in under 3 weeks"
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

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    Elite Member sparkly's Avatar
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    ^

    If I were to ever be with a woman, she'd have to be feminine I think. Not like any of you needed to know that.
    Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.

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    Elite Member witchcurlgirl's Avatar
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    I once saw a big bull with an awesome tee shirt

    It was like:

    DYKE

    it was pretty cool
    All of God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.


    If I wanted the government in my womb I'd fuck a Senator

  14. #14
    Elite Member Rondette's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by *DIVA! View Post
    How are 'real' lesbians scary?
    Quote Originally Posted by cmmdee View Post
    Not true. Lipstick lesbians exist.
    Yeah, I know....but generally men/boys seem to think they are the only kind that exist on the planet.

  15. #15
    A*O
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    Portia de Rossi will come back from the Dark Side once she gets some action with a real penis instead of Ellen's strap-on. Fact.
    I've never liked lesbianism - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth
    Dame Edna Everage

    Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.

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