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Thread: Canadian kids shows were on fucking DRUGS back in the day

  1. #1
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Red face Canadian kids shows were on fucking DRUGS back in the day

    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sh4q8Yddcco&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]

    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMKCPW_HO8E&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]

    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vilHNrxUdgs&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]

    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBSflK1FTSY[/YOUTUBE]
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  2. #2
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grimmlok View Post
    [youtube]Sh4q8Yddcco[/youtube]
    I used to watch that one. Ran across this great review a while back at IMDB

    Hallucinations from the Ministry of Education, 12 December 1999
    Author: Jason James Martin from Toronto, Canada


    The show was hosted by two, dreary Ontario civil servants and a series of stuffed animals who neither moved nor spoke -- and yet played the starring roles. Much like the Ontario government.

    Polka Dot Door, like other Ontario government shows such as the Math Patrol, Body Works or Sol, had that unmistakably bland 'do-as-we-say, is-good-for-you-no-questions' taint to it. But in a smiling, artless, stir-up-no-trouble-children way. The Canadian way.

    The hosts never lasted long in their jobs. This timid little children's show would chew them up at an alarming rate.

    Events in each episode were scheduled to the second, like the unionized ministry office TVO is. Our hosts would dutifully read children's stories at an exact time, monitored by a monolithic clock at centre stage. Each day had a different 'theme' and the hosts were forced to march in a small circle, often holding one of the stuffed animals, chanting inspirational songs about the day's theme. Like characters out of a Kafka tale, our civil servants would never leave the pink room or their slavery to the clock and woud babble incoherently about the polka dot door and the world beyond, glimpsed in short filmed sequences where the outside was shown (usually a shoe factory or a farm).

    Periodically, everyone would hallucinate an apparition named 'Polkaroo.' Polkaroo would do mischieveous things like flip up Marigold's skirt, take a crap in the bookcase or hide his stash in Dumpty's pants.

    Incidentally, I saw Dennis (one of the longer-running hosts) in a production of Godspell playing John the Baptist. He was pretty good.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

  3. #3
    Elite Member heart_leigh's Avatar
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    Ahahahaha!!!

    Man, this take me back! I loved the Polka Dot Door, and Size Small! I vaguely recall Telefrancais, though, but that's 'cuz I didn't understand French one bit. What about the Canadian version of Romper Room? Good times! *sigh*
    Rock the fuck on!

  4. #4
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    We always tried to guess which dot on the door was going to open.

    ....and then there were reruns of Forest Rangers!
    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9OoPyYGKdI[/YOUTUBE]
    These kids got to live on their own in a fort and have adventures, ride skidoos, use dogsleds, make fires, go canoeing, camp in the bush, etc and all without adults telling them what to do. We wanted a fort so bad.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

  5. #5
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    Don't forget this ripoff of a show.. stupid christian crap. I always wanted them to DO something other than sing about stupid Jebus, but they never did. I always turned it within 2 minutes.
    '
    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJHiXyQ07QE&feature=PlayList&p=F28AF98454D DDDFB&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=18[/YOUTUBE]
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  6. #6
    Elite Member Penny Lane's Avatar
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    Bookmarking these videos. Great for laughs when I'm under the influence.

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    Elite Member louiswinthorpe111's Avatar
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    I never watched these, but LOVED You Can't Do That on Television and Degrassi Jr. High.

  8. #8
    Elite Member Grimmlok's Avatar
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    LOL what IS the american fascination with Degrassi! LOL

    Nobody up here watched the fucking thing. I lived 1 block over from frigging Degrassi street. It sucked ass! LOL
    I am from the American CIA and I have a radio in my head. I am going to kill you.

  9. #9
    Super Moderator twitchy2.0's Avatar
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    True. We mocked Degrassi mercilessly.

    More reruns we were subjected to:

    [YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mXGrm_nGs_M&feature=related[/YOUTUBE]
    The animation was so cheap that they continually recycled footage and backgrounds and just stopped animating at the end. They'd be laughing but nothing would move.

    "The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge."

    -- Stephen Hawking

  10. #10
    Gold Member ArmyWifey's Avatar
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    The chick in the first video is on Young and the Restless now...
    Id rather be hated for who I am than loved for who Im not

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