Why Gloria Steinem Is Sticking Up for Jennifer Aniston

[Chalet]

You're a great Mom, Bella. Just the way you wrote that means you give everything your all.

[MmeVertigina]

Women need to stop shitting on each other. Women's rights mean we get to choose our own path and decide what makes us effective in life.

I agree with this 100%.
I don't see why anyone would think Jennifer Aniston has a void in her life because she isn't married with kids. It seems like she has a pretty fabulous life.

[KrisNine]

around here, i see this in BOTH crunchy granola types and former executives. both groups that i've seen are typically well educated. but what kills me is how competitive the former execs get about being a good parent and doing so much for their kid.

it's amazing i have any friends at all. and yes, maybe my social life would improve if i bought an ipad.

There are a lot of young, stay at home mom's here in OC. Women with some sort of higher education, but most married right out of college and started having kids. They're super competitive. All the Pinterest/Mini-Martha Stewart types. I'm like an old, hippie fart to them

Oh, and I have an iPad and not many friends at all

I agree with Shinola that it is more common among highly educated women but around here it is not the crunchy granolers. It's the highly educated, former executives, who have now decided to stay home with their kids. They spend 90% of each conversation telling you how their spouse and kids are so successful. When you ask about the work they did before staying home they shut you down saying it was not nearly as rewarding as being a wife and mother. That's great but I didn't ask for a comparison. They are usually the same moms who insist that the PTA planning meetings happen during the day thereby excluding working parents. I don't get it. I support every women making a choice based on what is best for them and their families.

I don't get why people have to compare everything. What works for some, doesn't work for others. I have a lot of respect for working parents. I've met some women that are SAHM's and they're so miserable with it that they constantly criticize women that are working mothers, because they want to be doing the same thing. I've also met women that are working mothers who bag on stay at home mom's because some of them wish they could do it. I wish people would be ok with doing what's best for their families and let others be.

Well I live in one of the most liberal, crunchy towns you'll find in middle America. There is absolutely this surge of stay at home moms. God bless them. Seriously. Our school is a private school so there are a lot of gaps to fill with volunteers. Without all of them, we'd be at a loss. When I was about to go back to work after having my youngest, one of them came up to me and asked how I was feeling about going back to work. I mentioned I felt some guilt about not being around school to help as much. She got in my face, told me she felt fortunate to be in this position, and that it was their duty to support those of us who choose (or have) to work. It was one of the nicest things anyone has said to me about parenting.

Women need to stop shitting on each other. Women's rights mean we get to choose our own path and decide what makes us effective in life. Quite honestly, if I would have known then what I know now, I'd have quit my job in a heartbeat. Nothing is more important than parenting and I see 1000 ways I could have used my time to help my kids, our school and my community. Instead, I chose to continue in my job. I know what I do means something to people who are hurt, but I'll never make the same impact on them that I could have made on my children if I'd have been home with them. My God, that was hard to write.

I agree, Bella. I wish women would stop with tearing each other down. I was told by my SO's relative that I must not be a feminist because I stay at home with my daughter. I smiled and looked at her and said that I was a feminist. I made the decision to stay home and raise my child. Having the right and ability to do that is what makes me a feminist. I'm a woman and a mother. I believe in what I'm doing and I believed in what I did prior to having a child.

[ikmccall]

Clooney has been quite honest about not wanting to have kids or to get married again. When JA is in a new relationship, we read stories of how she wants to settle down and have babies. I think that's why she gets criticism.

[Sarzy]

^ That's true. Cameron Diaz, for example, has never IIRC said she wants kids and doesn't get the same will she wont she like Jennifer.

[czb]

Well I live in one of the most liberal, crunchy towns you'll find in middle America. There is absolutely this surge of stay at home moms. God bless them. Seriously. Our school is a private school so there are a lot of gaps to fill with volunteers. Without all of them, we'd be at a loss. When I was about to go back to work after having my youngest, one of them came up to me and asked how I was feeling about going back to work. I mentioned I felt some guilt about not being around school to help as much. She got in my face, told me she felt fortunate to be in this position, and that it was their duty to support those of us who choose (or have) to work. It was one of the nicest things anyone has said to me about parenting.

....

yeah, that was nice of her. our school is public and without all the volunteers, there is no way it would be as good as it is. a lot of the volunteers are SAH mom (some dads), but also grandparents. and sometimes the working moms help, too. i don't have as much time as a SAH, but i do what i can.

[Laurent]

Clooney has been quite honest about not wanting to have kids or to get married again. When JA is in a new relationship, we read stories of how she wants to settle down and have babies. I think that's why she gets criticism.

I think it also has to do with the idea that her ex-husband left her over the kid issue and went to a woman who would give him children. All very archaic, but I think that's why she gets such a spotlight turned on her for it.

As for Clooney, the reaction to him is equally stupid, if you ask me. People use the fact that he's not married with children as further "evidence" of his homosexuality, which is also ridiculous. Clooney may be gay, I don't know, but what's silly is the idea that if you're not married with children, there must be some secret reason, you can't just be single and childless.

[sputnik]

What I find confusing is that the resurrection of June Cleaver I've experienced is often among educated crunchy granolers in liberal cities and towns. I wish I could learn more about this phenomenon ... and whether it's just my perception or what. I mean I lived it, and was surrounded by it, but is it as widespread as it seemed to me?

i think elizabeth badinter has written about it, and got shit on by both feminists and anti-feminists. i guess the truth hurts.

i blame this trend in helicopter parenting and the belief that if you're not with your snowflake 24/7, co-sleeping, stimulating them and paying attention to every gurgle, burp and outburst, making pie charts and excel spreadsheeets about how best to organise their homework and school work, volunteering at their school, spending hours at the local farmers' market and making them organic home-made meals, and shuttling them between their structured play-dates, mandarin for pre-schoolers lessons, kids yoga, soccer practice and classical violin, they will grow up to be inadequate, traumatised losers and you will be labelled a Bad Mother.

[manningmsj]

^^^^ My kids are so screwed.

[ariesallover]

sputnik, this book mirrors what you're saying: Parenting Without Borders: Surprising Lessons Parents Around the World Can Teach Us: Christine Gross-Loh Ph.D: 9781583334553: Amazon.com: Books.

Parenting Without Borders: Surprising Lessons Parents Around the World Can Teach Us by Christine Gross-Loh Ph.D

[sluce]

i think elizabeth badinter has written about it, and got shit on by both feminists and anti-feminists. i guess the truth hurts.

i blame this trend in helicopter parenting and the belief that if you're not with your snowflake 24/7, co-sleeping, stimulating them and paying attention to every gurgle, burp and outburst, making pie charts and excel spreadsheeets about how best to organise their homework and school work, volunteering at their school, spending hours at the local farmers' market and making them organic home-made meals, and shuttling them between their structured play-dates, mandarin for pre-schoolers lessons, kids yoga, soccer practice and classical violin, they will grow up to be inadequate, traumatised losers and you will be labelled a Bad Mother.

Damn. What sort of slackers do you hang out with?

[Flygirl]

Jesus, Sput. If your friends are waiting until preschool to start their kids' Mandarin, they are already light years behind.

[sluce]

They will probably end up at community college.

[Kittylady]

What I find confusing is that the resurrection of June Cleaver I've experienced is often among educated crunchy granolers in liberal cities and towns. I wish I could learn more about this phenomenon ... and whether it's just my perception or what. I mean I lived it, and was surrounded by it, but is it as widespread as it seemed to me?

I wonder if for some it has become the new form of oneupmanship - "Oh look, we are so financially blessed and totally together in our lives that I don't need to work and can concentrate on being a so-much-better-than-you parent".

[witchcurlgirl]

^ there's definitely a component of that. Also, the joy of competition they once got in the workplace is now transferred to the competition of their children.