Page 8 of 8 FirstFirst ... 45678
Results 106 to 110 of 110
Like Tree279Likes

Thread: Wendy Williams’ husband’s alleged mistress gives birth

  1. #106
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sleepy night night land
    Posts
    23,560

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MsDark View Post
    Wait a minute... What is her rationale that staying and not leaving him keeps them shielded? She might be the one bearing the brunt by being around, since she's his punching bag of choice. But in reality, she's teaching them that how he acts (especially toward her) is acceptable behavior. This is something they don't need to see. And believe me if they are under the same roof they are seeing/hearing it, regardless of how much she thinks she is shielding! Burst that fucking bubble.

    You can't erase what the kids have seen. But you can show them what the consequences are for being a selfish, abusive crazy person. And THAT'S what they need to see if she doesn't want them to one day either become abusers themselves, or end up with someone who treats them this way!

    Speaking from experience.
    she thinks that she can protect them from him, as long as they all live under the same roof, she’s the target and not them. She’s afraid to divorce him because the kids will be with him 50% of the time. During that time, since she won’t be living there, he’s going to verbally and emotionally abuse them. And she can’t protect them from it. She knows they see how he treats her, but as long as she’s there for him to hurl his words at, he doesn’t do it to the kids. It’s a fucked up rationale. Sadly, I guess I kind of understand. Even though I don’t think it’s right. She tells me “9 more years” because that’s when their youngest will be 18.

  2. #107
    Elite Member sputnik's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    fellow traveller
    Posts
    56,038

    Default

    that's why i don't buy the 'staying together for the kids' thing. women who stay in those marriages are doing it for them, because they're scared to be out on their own, of economic insecurity, of change and uncertainty. or they're super religious and/or conservative and fear the loss of status associated with being divorced and/or a single parent.
    I'm open to everything. When you start to criticise the times you live in, your time is over. - Karl Lagerfeld

  3. #108
    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Sleepy night night land
    Posts
    23,560

    Default

    It's a running joke in our house. People ask what's my fantasy, I say living alone in my own apartment (where it's always clean and in order) and being able to eat whatever I want and not gain a pound!! Lol. No finding Prince Charming for me

    Seriously, I think that's a big thing with some people. Afraid to be out there on their own. Most women I know that have left are happier than ever. Even being in a small house, with way less disposable income, and being away from their kids half the time.
    sputnik and Icepik like this.

  4. #109
    Elite Member Novice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Beyond Caring, then hang a left.
    Posts
    45,205

    Default

    I am a living example of what & how you are treated in childhood makes a pattern for adulthood.

    Kris - I thought CA was a more progressive state & gave more credence to what the children wanted after a certain age (teen not 18).

    Also, as much as I hate to say this, she might be used to this type of behaviour which is why I am an advocate of breaking the cycle.

  5. #110
    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Northwest MS/Memphis TN
    Posts
    30,244

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KrisNine View Post
    she thinks that she can protect them from him, as long as they all live under the same roof, she’s the target and not them. She’s afraid to divorce him because the kids will be with him 50% of the time. During that time, since she won’t be living there, he’s going to verbally and emotionally abuse them. And she can’t protect them from it. She knows they see how he treats her, but as long as she’s there for him to hurl his words at, he doesn’t do it to the kids. It’s a fucked up rationale. Sadly, I guess I kind of understand. Even though I don’t think it’s right. She tells me “9 more years” because that’s when their youngest will be 18.
    Well first off, he’s likely not going to have the kids “50 percent of the time” even if they have joint custody. In all likelihood he’d get visitation (and maybe not even then if he’s abusive...even if openly just toward her...and there’s evidence). And if he’s truly not abusive toward them, then why would she NOT leave? Her rationale is flawed.

    Second, and most importantly....she’s showing them what to expect from marriage/how marriage works. If she wants this for them one day, this is the best way to assure it happens.

    This is a recipe for it. My ex grew up watching his dad be a shitty abusive husband for 35 years until his mom finally grew a back bone. Big surprise he turned into a clone (as a husband) of exactly the person he despised so bad he left home at 17. Even with therapy and making a conscious effort not to be this kind of a husband he still couldn’t get away from relating the way he did because it was the only thing he ever saw growing up. It was always his default mode. When he stopped giving a fuck, he’d revert to this.

    So what she needs to understand is that if he’s abusing her, he’s abusing the kids. They’re being robbed of being able to grow up seeing an example of a healthy relationship. And she’s an enabler as long as she stays.

    She needs to get them away from this relationship. Herself too. If they are not small children (I think you mentioned the youngest is 9) then they’re old enough to report anything back to her that occurs when with him. Maybe even old enough to have a say in how much (or if) they want to be around him at all. The kids will be fine if she leaves. They’ll be less stressed too, no longer having to witness this bullshit.
    Last edited by MsDark; October 4th, 2019 at 02:57 PM.
    Novice, sputnik, Kittylady and 4 others like this.

Page 8 of 8 FirstFirst ... 45678

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 9
    Last Post: April 22nd, 2017, 06:47 PM
  2. Tiger Woods' alleged mistress takes precautions
    By Wiseguy in forum Latest Gossip
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: December 11th, 2009, 07:30 AM
  3. Replies: 21
    Last Post: December 2nd, 2008, 04:59 AM
  4. Replies: 16
    Last Post: November 27th, 2008, 04:02 PM
  5. Replies: 39
    Last Post: December 20th, 2007, 07:16 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •