Warren Beatty's daughter Kathlyn plans sex change to become Stephen

[Sylkyn]

She is too damn young to make this kind of decision.

Well, actually, the younger a transgender can start, the better. Everything I have read from other trans people say they wish they could have or would have started earlier than they did.

And actually, it's not really a 'decision'. It's the way you are wired. If you are a male at heart (but born biologically female) you can't really wish it away.

That said, I'd be worried about my child, should he or she come to this kind of conclusion, but only because life is hard enough without having such stones thrown. I'd still back him or her up, though, as much as humanly possible.

[Baby Face]

Not surprising; there were pics around of him/her. Went from "what a cute kid" to "definitely living as a guy".

There is a picture of Kathlyn on Crazy Days and Nights today with a blur about the National Enquirere story. She has short hair and is wearing a suit & tie.

[Brookie]

^ That may be the photo I'm thinking of.

[Baby Face]

I can understand this. I do have a problem with people who are just so 'devastated' when their child turns out to be gay or trans or something. It is saying indirectly to the child that their parents think that something is wrong with them-it is hard to feel 'supported' when you also feel that you are being judged and basically 'mourned' over. Been there, done that. What are you telling your child when you are 'grieving' over them simply being gay or trans? I think alot of parents have (misplace again IMO) feelings about what their children 'are' and 'should be' and this leads to problems down the road.

I was the one my parents had 'picked' to be the jock, the football player, the one they dressed up in OSU gear even when I was a toddler. And when I started to not turn out like they had wanted(both psychologically and physically), They could not contain their disappointment and I knew it and it flared up and continued through my entire childhood/adolescence. It really hurt me, and it never had to happen.

I can see where both you and HWBL are coming from. You from the kids perspective and HWBL from the parents. To kind of put some perspective into what HWBL said, I felt the same way when my kid was diagnosed with ADHD. I know that some of you may roll your eyes at this but, when you have your kid and they come out with all fingers/toes and everything in the right place, working correctly you think the battle is mostly won. When other things come up - my case ADHD but, other illnesses, personality traits, etc - as a parent you need to grieve the child you thought you had and embrace the one you actually got. Some parents never make the transition. Most do and hopefully we don't scar our kids too much in the process. We are humans afterall. As you show us, it isn't easy to do and probably there is no way to not scar your kids in these types of situations. You just hope that in the end, the love you give your kid is greater than the pain you have caused (and that they can forgive you).

[HWBL]

I will ignore the fact that you are in denial about your personal insult!!

And I guess alot of this is just about what 'parental devastation' is, how it is defined, and how it is expressed. I think we may have different ideas about that going on here.

I can't use the word 'devastation' now without thinking about that ass Kanye. Thanks alot, Kanye.

* I think we both want the best for the parents and the child, and have some common ground on the paps exploiting this, at least. And you are right-I see this very much from the child perspective, having been there myself, and no I have not been in the parent situation. Have you been in either situation? I think it does 'color' ones view of things.

Yep, let's agree to disagree on certain things. Peace, man!
No, haven't been in either situation (yet?), thankfully (she sighed).
But I've seen it around me, knocking on doors where you wouldn't
have expected it which tells you that nobody should rest on their
laurels until their kids are 95 years old.

Well, actually, the younger a transgender can start, the better. Everything I have read from other trans people say they wish they could have or would have started earlier than they did.

And actually, it's not really a 'decision'. It's the way you are wired. If you are a male at heart (but born biologically female) you can't really wish it away.

That said, I'd be worried about my child, should he or she come to this kind of conclusion, but only because life is hard enough without having such stones thrown. I'd still back him or her up, though, as much as humanly possible.

This!

I can see where both you and HWBL are coming from. You from the kids perspective and HWBL from the parents. To kind of put some perspective into what HWBL said, I felt the same way when my kid was diagnosed with ADHD. I know that some of you may roll your eyes at this but, when you have your kid and they come out with all fingers/toes and everything in the right place, working correctly you think the battle is mostly won. When other things come up - my case ADHD but, other illnesses, personality traits, etc - as a parent you need to grieve the child you thought you had and embrace the one you actually got. Some parents never make the transition. Most do and hopefully we don't scar our kids too much in the process. We are humans afterall. As you show us, it isn't easy to do and probably there is no way to not scar your kids in these types of situations. You just hope that in the end, the love you give your kid is greater than the pain you have caused (and that they can forgive you).

And this!

Some of this made me think of the Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, Sidney Poitier movie
"Guess who's coming to dinner?". To an outsider, even today when racism is still pretty
much around, it may have looked dated and over protective of the parents (both black &
white) to be so opposed to this interracial relationship. But they both motivated their
reasons for their positions and it was all out of concern for the wellbeing of their children,
the interracial couple, and their possible future offspring.
Sorry, just thought I'd mention this because of the parallels I see. :blush:

[Dean James]

I wish Stephen love and happiness.

[Sundance]

He needs support from his family. So I hope they will come around soon & accept it.

[Brookie]

This one.

[Sundance]

Well, actually, the younger a transgender can start, the better. Everything I have read from other trans people say they wish they could have or would have started earlier than they did.

And actually, it's not really a 'decision'. It's the way you are wired. If you are a male at heart (but born biologically female) you can't really wish it away.

That said, I'd be worried about my child, should he or she come to this kind of conclusion, but only because life is hard enough without having such stones thrown. I'd still back him or her up, though, as much as humanly possible.

Exactly. You know at a very early age. It's not a choice or a phase or whim. It's something that is known early & doesn't alternate back & forth between the two.

[Kittylady]

I still think that 'outing' Kathlyn/Stephen was one of the all time lowest things that Piggy has done. The Beatty's have never pushed their children into the limelight or whored them to the press for their own publicity (Yes, I'm looking at you, Smith and Cruise) and as such I very much feel that their children - each and every one of them - should be treated as private individuals and not pursued by the scummier elements of the media. The press needs to back the fuck off and let Stephen and his family work through this in their own way and in private. If Stephen ever decides to talk to the media about it at a later date, fine, but until then let it go.

I worked with someone who took the decision to undergo female to male gender reassignment and the grace and determination my co-worker, L, showed in the face of curiosity, misunderstandings and outright insults was a testament to their strength of character. God knows, I probably would have delivered a smackdown to some of the ignorant fools he encountered. I stopped working with L just before he began surgery, but I bumped into him about 2 years later and he was the most angelic and gorgeous looking guy you could ever meet and literally glowed with contentment at finally being in the right skin.

[Sundance]

^what a wonderful story!

[olivia]

Thanks for the response. I ended up deleting my original post,...figured I might have over stepped. It is hard to become educated on things that you have never seen, lived or were never taught growing up. Some areas of the US are very lacking on new things, people and ideas. It is hard explaining that to people, without being jumped on as a racist, sexist or gender basher. A lot of times it is lack of education and knowledge. And it is hard to achieve that without understanding and answers from others.

I know, I know. I've stuck my foot in it so often and so badly. I feel so idiotic

Like I said before, it was a lucky thing to work with Sun (the guy with a female body.) He was very light about it and very funny.

One time, I was getting really intense at work - giving everyone the "don't fuck with me, don't even speak" attitude, and Sun comes over and sits down next to me.

He sighs and says "I wish I had a dick."

Screeeeeeeeeech!!!!! Say what!

"What?!" I sputtered "Huh? Why? I mean, you know, when they aren't in use they're kinda ugly."

"Not mine." he sighs "Mine would be beautiful." And he gets up and goes back to work.

After that, there wasn't much I couldn't ask him about the transgendered experience. It taught me a lot about men in general, actually.

[Bellatheball]

Soj, you and I have had this conversation before. Until a person has children, they tend to see things from a kid's perspective. Once you become a parent, you associate what other kids are going through with your own children.

I would be heart broken if my child didn't feel they were born to the right sex. Not because I would be ashamed or angry but because it would be devestating to think your child isn't comfortable in his/her own skin. Imagine struggling with something as basic as gender. I woudln't wish that struggle on anyone.

That said, I have taken care of 6-7 transgendered patients. Every one of them was as nice as could be but almost all of them were clearly dealing with a lot of the psychological issues. They all had a different comfort level in sharing who they were as well. One man looked so much like a man you'd never have guessed he was born a female. He quietly pulled me aside to offer the missing piece to his medical history and asked that I only share it if needed. On the other extreme, we had a woman (born male) who is open and proud of who she is and even wanted to show how "tiny the pee pee got" after meds. LOL! Though I haven't asked all of them (nor would I without reason) three of them shared with me that they consider themselves straight. They all said they were born to the wrong gender but their sexual orientation fit with who they thought they should have been.

[*DIVA!]

I just would like to say that it isn't a lifestyle.

[Syd]

Well, actually, the younger a transgender can start, the better. Everything I have read from other trans people say they wish they could have or would have started earlier than they did.

That is from an adult's hindsight. I still think she's too young to commit to an irreversible decision.

Live as a man until you are an adult. THEN make the decision. JMO.