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Thread: Simon Cowell Expecting a Baby With Friend's Wife Lauren Silverman

  1. #16
    fgg
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    wow, was not expecting this! carmen electra is pissed she missed out on this paycheck!
    sluce likes this.
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

  2. #17
    Elite Member sluce's Avatar
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    Ahhh ahahaha forgot about Carmen. When did that end?
    You don't engage with crazies. Because they're, you know, fucking crazy. - WitchCurlGirl

  3. #18
    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    Thought he was gay?
    Ain't nothing wrong with Ohio wang! - MontanaMama

  4. #19
    Silver Member yowzers's Avatar
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    Should have got that vasectomy haha, I think this news is hilarious! I've never thought he was gay, just a greedy guy who likes his money and never wanted to share it.

  5. #20
    Elite Member levitt's Avatar
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    Well, I never thought he was gay either, but I'm pretty sure it was the solidified rumour du jour for a time.
    Ain't nothing wrong with Ohio wang! - MontanaMama

  6. #21
    Elite Member MohandasKGanja's Avatar
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    I hope La Leche League doesn't pressure him too much about breastfeeding. Just because a guy is sporting a pair like this doesn't mean the transition will be easy.
    sluce, KrisNine, olivia and 7 others like this.

  7. #22
    fgg
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    Simon Cowell: seeking immortality

    Simon Cowell is obsessed with…himself. All those injections, colonics, vitamins, this is a man desperate to stay young, robust, virile…and alive. A couple of years ago it was revealed that he’d signed up for cryonics – freezing his body for the future, when medical advancements might make it possible to revive us for another lifetime. While the likelihood of that being successful is uncertain, he’s now found another way to guarantee his immortality:

    A legacy.

    A child.

    Simon Cowell is to be a father.

    According to US Weekly, Lauren Silverman is pregnant with Cowell’s eternity. Silverman is the estranged wife of one of Cowell’s wealthy friends, Andrew Silverman. The Silvermans’ marriage was apparently falling apart and Lauren and Simon spent more and more time together and now they’re to be parents, so that even if Cowell can’t be thawed back to life in 200 years or so, he’ll still be around in spirit through succession.

    Here’s a man who flies in his fruit for smoothies every day. He spends several thousand dollars a week on fresh flowers. He sends a private jet for his personal chef to come to wherever he is just to inspect his appliances. For some reason, he’ll only wipe his ass with black toilet paper. This… makes no sense to me. I mean, if you can’t see it, how do you know when you’re done? Like, that final sheet better be snow white before I pull up my pants is what I’m saying.

    Anyway, the point is – forget North West and the Kanye baby when it comes to excess. The spawn of Simon Cowell will exceed them all.

    Simon Cowell expecting a child with Lauren Silverman|Lainey Gossip Entertainment Update

    pics of simon and babymama together at the link.
    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

  8. #23
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    this is a man desperate to stay … alive.]
    Aren't we all?

    I actually think he'll make a good Dad. Lousy friend, but good dad.

  9. #24
    mjw
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    Default Simon Cowell Knocked Up His Best Friend’s Wife


    In about six months, somebody other than Ryan Seacrest will call Simon Cowelldaddy.” That’s what UsWeekly and The Daily Mail say, anyway. UsWeekly’ssource says that somebody let Simon Cowell’s bitchy jizz fishes swim up into her ovaries and that somebody is the wife of his (former?) best friend, real estate mogulAndrew Silverman. ESCANDALO! Paula Abdul just fell the fuck out of her bed. Although, Paula falling out of her bed is totally unrelated to Simon making a baby, because that’s how she gets out of bed every morning.


    Lauren Silverman, the New York socialite type who’s carrying the spawn of Cowell, is still married to Andrew Silverman, but their marriage has been circling the toilet hole for a while and they’ve been in the process of legally quitting each other for good. As 36-year-old Lauren’s marriage was slowly dying, 52-year-old Simon gave her a caring dick to cry on, sit on, etc… etc.. UsWeekly’s source says that the fetus in Lauren’s womb is about 10 weeks old and she’s planning to leave Andrew for good to be with Simon. The Daily Mail’s source says that Lauren and Simon have been bumping tits for about a year and she wants to marry his ass:


    “Lauren loves Simon, she says that she wants to marry him. And with the baby, she’s going the right way about it! But I think this could be really good for Simon.”

    Simon broke off his engagement to that Mezhgan Hussainy woman over a year ago.


    But Simon making an actual human baby? George Clooney is going to get a reverse vastectomy before getting another vastectomy to make sure that not one drop of his baby making milk makes it into his semen. What a mess. I’m sure Simon was just being a true friend to Andrew when he humped his wife. Simon only barebacked boned Lauren so he could critique her sex skills and it was obviously a yes from him.


    And before Simon Jr. comes into the world, Simon should really shave the fur off of his luscious bear claw chichis, because his baby could choke on a wad of hair while breastfeeding. That’s a safety hazard.

    Here’s Simon and Lauren in London together last March.

    Dlisted | Simon Cowell Knocked Up His Best Friend’s Wife

  10. #25
    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    Knocking up your friend's wife. Klassy shit right there.

    To confess, though, I find something sexy about this asshole.
    Mel1973 likes this.
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  11. #26
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    A couple of smokers? I hope one of them has given up now. He will be like Hugh Grant - very hands off and just carry on with his bevy of identical women to vacation with. I don't think being a sperm donor will change him one bit.
    deenz and thordis like this.

  12. #27
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    For some reason, he’ll only wipe his ass with black toilet paper. This… makes no sense to me. I mean, if you can’t see it, how do you know when you’re done? Like, that final sheet better be snow white before I pull up my pants is what I’m saying.
    best part of that.
    "If you are not outraged, then you are not paying attention," Heather Heyer's facebook quote.

  13. #28
    Elite Member Laurent's Avatar
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    These pics are apparently from January 2012. The wife running her fingers through Simon's hair and kissing him while hubs watches? Weird shit, man.









    source: Simon Cowell cuddles up to the 'mother of his child' Lauren Silverman on a VERY cosy holiday as her husband looks on | Mail Online
    “What are you looking at, sugar-tits?” - Mel Gibson

  14. #29
    Elite Member greysfang's Avatar
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    Only ten weeks gone? Well she sure leaked that shit in a hurry.
    FUCK YOU AND GIVE ME MY GODDAMN VENTI TWO PUMP LIGHT WHIP MOCHA YOU COCKSUCKING WHORE BEFORE I PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH. I just get unpleasant in my car. - Deej

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  15. #30
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    anyone else think this is a threesome, swinger, or i'll watch while you do her situation that went a little off track for the friend of SC? i thought that before but these lates pictures on the yacht are very convincing of some sort of an arrangement, no?

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