Shakira on Motherhood: "Nobody Told Me It Would Be This Hard"

**BoogsBun** · April 25th, 2013, 03:31 PM

My second son was harder than my first as a baby. That colic is a motherfucker. My second son would scream non-stop from 4p-11p, every...single...night, for three months straight.

**JadeStar70** · April 25th, 2013, 03:36 PM

My last was my hardest. She had colic and if she wasn't crying, she wanted held, or she screamed!! She did that for 9 months straight, and finally slept a 7 hour stretch at night by 14 months old. If she had been the first, she would have been an only child!! lol

**whitetigeress** · April 25th, 2013, 04:05 PM

^^
You have me beat Jade. My oldest went 24/7 for 4 mos. I was a walking zombie.
But I bet you can't beat this part... I am hoh so I use this special baby alarm attached to a big round disc I put under my pillow. It vibrates every time my baby cried. EVERY...fukin ....TIME. On top of that, the hubby would yell at me if he cried too much. This is why I'm soooo happy to say the baby is now a teen and I left his daddy eons ago.

I feel for shakira, being a new mom and all, but seriously though, she's got it good.

**Beeyotch** · April 25th, 2013, 04:14 PM

Originally Posted by sputnik

I think she might have been making a point about how the majority of the world has at least 4 months maternity leave, including developing countries in Latin America, and the USA is the one exception among developed nations that is IMO sorely lacking in this respect.

I know what she meant and I realize it's not her fault that the U.S. is so goddamned backwards with their health care system but it still irked me.

It's an insensitive statement to those who have much less than that, esp. when her other point was "I'm not complaining but I'm certainly bringing it up in an interview about how I *only* have 2 months maternity leave." Which sounds suspiciously plaintive to me, even if she didn't mean it to be. Face it, some people can't even afford to do that, so comparing herself to others didn't exactly win her any points here.

**KrisNine** · April 25th, 2013, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by czb

^^^ giving up the 'me' time is hard, no doubt about that.

Even when ME time is just peeing with a little privacy

**sputnik** · April 25th, 2013, 04:28 PM

honestly, not being american myself, I understand assuming that the vast majority of the world has legally mandated maternity leave. imo it's not insensitive at all considering you guys are the only developed country without a maternity leave law. people take it for granted. it's not a privilege, or a luxury, it's a fucking right. except in the US. trust me, I hate this wailing goat bitch and i hate to defend her but if anything you shouldn't be pissed off at her but at the fact that the richest country in the world can't even provide this basic right to its female population. this isn't goopy assuming everyone has a maid and a mansion and half a million to spruce up your spring wardrobe.

**idunno** · April 25th, 2013, 05:14 PM

Originally Posted by sputnik

honestly, not being american myself, I understand assuming that the vast majority of the world has legally mandated maternity leave. imo it's not insensitive at all considering you guys are the only developed country without a maternity leave law. people take it for granted. it's not a privilege, or a luxury, it's a fucking right. except in the US. trust me, I hate this wailing goat bitch and i hate to defend her but if anything you shouldn't be pissed off at her but at the fact that the richest country in the world can't even provide this basic right to its female population. this isn't goopy assuming everyone has a maid and a mansion and half a million to spruce up your spring wardrobe.

I know! I am quite chocked that American women only have 6 weeks maternity leave.

In Denmark women had right to 8 weeks in 1939, in 1960 it was extended to 14 weeks, in 1983 is was 24 weeks and fathers got right to paternity leave, and in 2002 it was 52 weeks with 18 weeks ear marked for the mother, 2 weeks for the father and the rest to be shared between them as they please until the child is 9 years old, usually with 26 weeks on full pay and 26 weeks on reduced pay. (Some have right to 52 weeks on full pay)

I mean ffs, Danish women have right to 4 weeks of maternity leave before the birth. That's two third of an American maternity leave, before the baby is even born!

So basically my grand mother (and my father) had it better than American women today. Stand up for your rights, American mothers and fathers!

**Beeyotch** · April 25th, 2013, 05:51 PM

Yes we all agree it's fucked up, but when someone makes a comment like that it's like "rub it in, why don't you."

Ignorance on the subject doesn't make it feel any better. Neither does telling us how fucked up it is or to stand up for our rights--this is a big issue that isn't that easy to fix.

**idunno** · April 25th, 2013, 06:10 PM

Originally Posted by Beeyotch

Yes we all agree it's fucked up, but when someone makes a comment like that it's like "rub it in, why don't you."

Ignorance on the subject doesn't make it feel any better. Neither does telling us how fucked up it is or to stand up for our rights--this is a big issue that isn't that easy to fix.

Sorry, didn't mean to rub it in.

It surely isn't easy to fix in this economy, but when it turns, it's really about realising that corporations don't exist in a vacuum. They benefit from infrasturcture (that society pays for), a well educated work force (that individuals/society pay for), they benefit from new generations of employees being born, and many many other things.

So corporations benefit from society and individuals, and paid maternity leave is one way for corporations to give something back to society and individuals (God knows most of the multi nationals don't pay taxes). But I guess most Americans would consider me a pinko commie for saying that.

**sputnik** · April 25th, 2013, 06:15 PM

how is it rubbing it in? should people just never mention it at all?

**smurfette** · April 25th, 2013, 06:21 PM

I also have twins and the first few months were just a blur. It's the only way to describe it. Here in Canada our maternity leave is 52 weeks and I'm grateful for that.

**KrisNine** · April 25th, 2013, 09:04 PM

If we have another kid, I'll make sure we've made our move to Europe

Anyone know the maternity leave in Holland/The Netherlands??

**rockchick** · April 25th, 2013, 09:08 PM

Originally Posted by Beeyotch

Four months' maternity like everybody in the world has, huh? I don't even have kids but I bristled at this statement.

yeah, i wonder whose ass she pulled that out of?

**Novice** · April 26th, 2013, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by KrisNine

If we have another kid, I'll make sure we've made our move to Europe

Anyone know the maternity leave in Holland/The Netherlands??

You wanna go to the Czech Republic! Trust me!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parental_leave

**KrisNine** · April 26th, 2013, 04:33 PM

^^Thanks!! Sounds good.

Reading that wiki article was sad. I guess I should count myself fortunate for living in CA and getting the added benefit of 6 weeks. Believe me, they make you jump through all sorts of paperwork hoops to get it.