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Thread: Scarlett Johansson Says She's "Barely Holding It Together" As A Working Mom

  1. #16
    czb
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    maybe she is just referring to guilt or stress.

    even if you are affluent, you can feel guilt and stress. money just makes it easier to hire help. but then some moms feel guilty they aren't doing it all themselves.
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  2. #17
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    I just don't think that applies to a Hollywood star. They know they are busy, they know they can throw money at a problem. Maybe her divorce and the surrounding events are stressing her out and she's trying to be viewer-friendly but I don't buy it.
    I have some famous friends and I have mostly not famous friends.

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    I don't think you can throw money at basic Mother's Guilt, though.
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  4. #19
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    ^ Especially if you don't have it!
    I have some famous friends and I have mostly not famous friends.

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    Quote Originally Posted by NickiDrea View Post
    When I was a SAHM I felt guilty because my husband was out working and I wasn't contributing financially to our household. Plus he would work all day and then when he would come home I would sometimes need a break from our twins and then I'd feel bad because he worked all day and then had to care for the babies too while I didn't work and somehow still needed a break (so I felt "lazy"). I also started to worry that by staying home I might be perpetuating stereotypes about what women "should" be doing especially since I have a doctorate degree and worked a lot before I had them. I've talked about this with my other SAHM mom friends and found that many of us have experienced these feelings.

    Then when I went back to work the guilt changed and (for me), got much worse. It's never gone away and in fact, since they started school, it has compounded.
    You bring up some valid and good points. Let's face it, being a parent is hard. And I think the guilt goes hand in hand with being a parent, no matter whether you work or not and whatever your situation is, to be honest.

    I was a single and sole support parent, hard doesn't even cover it, but I managed and survived somehow. I remember a colleague on our way out of work saying she had hoped her cleaning lady remembered to clean the basement. I thought to myself, wish I could afford a cleaning lady, that was Thursday night chore. I did finally get a cleaning lady, my kids when they were old enough. LOL!
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    Unless you've passed your kid(s) off to someone to raise, being a parent is tough...... period.
    Whether you're male, female, working, not working, single, married, whatever the fuk... DOESN'T MATTER!


    Being a parent is tough


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  7. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wisher2 View Post
    You bring up some valid and good points. Let's face it, being a parent is hard. And I think the guilt goes hand in hand with being a parent, no matter whether you work or not and whatever your situation is, to be honest.

    I was a single and sole support parent, hard doesn't even cover it, but I managed and survived somehow. I remember a colleague on our way out of work saying she had hoped her cleaning lady remembered to clean the basement. I thought to myself, wish I could afford a cleaning lady, that was Thursday night chore. I did finally get a cleaning lady, my kids when they were old enough. LOL!
    I want to stand up and applaud for single parents. I respect them so much. I have no clue how you guys do it. I feel so exhausted all the time and my husband is definitely a 50% partner in caring for our kids. Without help I think I'd have a nervous breakdown.
    "Thankfully I'm an educated multi-millionaire who knows better than to speak to perverted unjust cops without my lawyer. "
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  8. #23
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    ^^^ vouch.

    when my husband is around, he is definitely at least 50%.

    unfortunately, he travels a LOT for work so i get how hard it is to be a single parent!. wow, i respect people who have to do it full time. so hard!
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    Elite Member MsDark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rollo View Post
    I just don't think that applies to a Hollywood star. They know they are busy, they know they can throw money at a problem. Maybe her divorce and the surrounding events are stressing her out and she's trying to be viewer-friendly but I don't buy it.
    If viewer-friendly is her goal she should start by growing her hair back out.
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  10. #25
    Elite Member dolem's Avatar
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    Stay at home moms also can feel very judged by others, at least I know that I have felt that. I had kids before a lot of my friends. I remember having a 2 year old and being away for the weekend with friends (kid was with grandparents) and overhearing ALL of my girlfriends going on and on about how when they are moms they would NEVER stop working. They paid for their degrees, love helping people, think it's silly to stay home, I heard it all. Now, they all have kids and 1/2 of them do stay home.

    If you stay home there's guilt about finances, not keeping the house perfect, cooking, doing all the different enriching programs, letting kids watch TV or play video games. You basically can never win and there will always be someone who is "better" than you.

    *These are my experiences. I live in the NW and have a lot of super liberal friends who are ultra judgy about certain things. It's taken me years to get to a point where I just don't give a shit what they think because I know my kids are smart.
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    The thing is this...women are super judgmental of other women. I know I'm guilty of it. It only adds to Mom Guilt. You work, you feel guilty. You stay home, you feel guilty, you work from home, you feel guilty... it doesn't really matter what your choice is, there is guilt tied to it. We should all celebrate that we have choices and we're all just doing the best we can, but because there's a tremendous amount of worry and guilt on whatever side of the fence you're on, we tend to throw rocks on the other side to make ourselves feel better about the choices we've made, because we never really know if we're doing what's right. In reality, what's right is whatever works for you, but there's so much advice out there and so much judgement and guilt tied to it, I think it's very hard just do do your own thing and be OK with it.

    When celebs start talking about parenting I think it makes all of us crazy because we know they have the means to afford excellent care if needed and they don't have to worry about bills and housecleaning, etc. But, they are still human, and they are women, and with that comes that built in Mom Guilt. (Although I still have a hard time buying that Mariah might have any Mom Guilt... see, there I am judging!)

  12. #27
    Elite Member rollo's Avatar
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    If you are a single parent, there is much more "Mom Guilt" (Where did this term come from? Where is the Dad Guilt?) if you aren't working all hours to feed your family unless you have a helpful deal with your ex which is not guaranteed and adds to the stress of caring for your kids when dealing with the legal aspects, the home, the schools etc. This is not the case for a Hollywood star. She chose her cushy lifestyle, was pushed forward by her mother and became extremely wealthy before she even had a baby. She was never going to give up her career, married or not, single or not. It's just too lucrative. I don't buy that Hollywood stars can ever relate to their fans even if they started off as Jane Doe and not some celebrity kid. Fame and extreme wealth changes people for good and you want to keep it that way. Then some media coach tells you to "relate" to your fans and it nearly always comes off badly IMO. I am surprised that so many on here are buying into Scarlett's narrative - maybe because she is younger than Madge, Goop et al but there's very little difference to me.
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    Quote Originally Posted by rollo View Post
    If you are a single parent, there is much more "Mom Guilt" (Where did this term come from? Where is the Dad Guilt?) if you aren't working all hours to feed your family unless you have a helpful deal with your ex which is not guaranteed and adds to the stress of caring for your kids when dealing with the legal aspects, the home, the schools etc. This is not the case for a Hollywood star. She chose her cushy lifestyle, was pushed forward by her mother and became extremely wealthy before she even had a baby. She was never going to give up her career, married or not, single or not. It's just too lucrative. I don't buy that Hollywood stars can ever relate to their fans even if they started off as Jane Doe and not some celebrity kid. Fame and extreme wealth changes people for good and you want to keep it that way. Then some media coach tells you to "relate" to your fans and it nearly always comes off badly IMO. I am surprised that so many on here are buying into Scarlett's narrative - maybe because she is younger than Madge, Goop et al but there's very little difference to me.
    I don't think there is anything harder than being a single parent. I have the utmost respect for someone who is raising children on his/her own.

    There is no Dad Guilt because society hasn't structured the raising of children that way. It's always on the mom, even if the dad is an equal partner. Doesn't matter. Do dads ever sit around and talk about the right/wrong way to do things? Do they ever raise their eyebrows at how a dad is doing things? Not much. Do they wake up at the tiniest peep a baby makes? Not usually. Whether a mom works, doesn't work, works part time, etc. all the criticism for doing things the "right" way falls on her. It's just the way it works. If we lived in a society where women were truly equal maybe there would be less Mom Guilt. I don't know. This is all just my opinion.

    Celebs, for all their wealth, still live in this society and I think unless they are super out of touch with reality, they still experience the same feelings other women do. What I liked about what Scarlett said was that she didn't add to the women judging other women narrative by telling us how amazing, precious, and terrific her parenting is and how the rest of us suck and don't get it. She didn't come off as pretentious. I found her to sound real and not condescending. It could just be really good PR, but even if it was, something resonated with me that made me look at the whole celeb as parent thing a little differently. We are all women. It made me think that I could have all the money in the world, have great help, a super clean house, a cushy lifestyle, but I bet I'd still question my parenting, because it seems that most women do, regardless of their situations. It's not a comment about how hard/easy it is for a celeb, because obviously they have it easier than most with the physical part of raising a child, but the emotional part? Unless they have completely detached from their kid and are letting the nannies do all the work, there are still emotions involved.

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    I do feel for her. And I have one kid, a kid who my mother in law said was more intense than my BIL and SIL's 4- including when they were 3 under 2.5.
    I don't have a kid that can go to daycare my mom watches him otherwise at 2.5 he'd likely need a really patient high priced nanny or a PCA.
    I felt she was relatable and down to earth and acknowledging momming on every level.

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    ^^ Grandma's are the bomb, they rock. Kiddle is lucky.

    I'm switching to another area of discussion - do she and Sep Husband live in France full time? Seems that way with the popcorn shop. Will she want to raise the child in France for the next 16 years? Will there be
    another Kelly Rutherford situation? Will he move to the US if she wants to move back there? Will they have international custody? Was this worked on paper beforehand because of their different nationalities?
    Wisher2 likes this.

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