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Thread: Sandra Bullock Adopts Baby Girl All The Heartwarming Details

  1. #31
    Gold Member electrocuted_sheep's Avatar
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    My mum had me and my twin when she was forty, and she had two other kids under ten as well (my older half siblings) and I never felt neglected growing up because of her "old age."

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    Elite Member SHELLEE's Avatar
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    My mom had me at 40, an oops. while she was older than my friends moms, she took me to concerts, snorkeling, shopping, and so much more. Me on the other hand can't imagine having kids at this age, I'm too selfish.
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    Elite Member Lofty Bike's Avatar
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    Selfish? I don't have children. I never, not even once for one second wanted a child. So I don't see myself as selfish, just consequent.
    Last edited by Lofty Bike; October 4th, 2015 at 05:39 AM.
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    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taedium View Post
    It is far more selfish to have children than to not have them.
    What do you mean by this?

    I don't think it's selfish not to have children. It's a choice. Some people want kids, others don't. Nothing wrong with either decision. That said, my dad's mom had him at 55 (his dad was in his 60's) and I don't think he appreciated that. They already had 13 other kids and were frankly too old to care for him properly as he got older. They missed out On a lot of his important life events due to health issues. I never got to meet either of them as they died before I was born. I know that could happen at any age, but it's pretty obvious that if your parents are already advanced age when you are born, it's far more likely to happen when your child is still young and needs you. There is a fair argument that there IS an age when you're too old to have kids, but what that age is is debatable, especially because so much depends on your health, energy levels, family history, etc and that varies from person to person.

    I always knew I didn't want to have kids after 32ish (my choice), so I made sure I was done before then.
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    Quote Originally Posted by NickiDrea View Post
    What do you mean by this?
    I mean what I wrote: having children is selfish. Bringing a child into a word that, objectively, has too many people and finite resources in order to fulfill a desire to be a parent is selfish. I would like to have bio children one day and most probably will have them (though I'd be perfectly content not having any children - bio, adopted, whatever) but it wouldn't change the fact that me doing so would be selfish.

  6. #36
    Elite Member effie2's Avatar
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    Well,if and when you do have children,come back in 18 years and tell us again how selfish you feel.

  7. #37
    Elite Member NickiDrea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taedium View Post
    I mean what I wrote: having children is selfish. Bringing a child into a word that, objectively, has too many people and finite resources in order to fulfill a desire to be a parent is selfish. I would like to have bio children one day and most probably will have them (though I'd be perfectly content not having any children - bio, adopted, whatever) but it wouldn't change the fact that me doing so would be selfish.
    That's a very interesting theory but I disagree with it. Humans have a biological urge to have children. This is not even debatable- it's biology, not selfishness. This is to continue the human race, because, just like any other animal, if we don't continue to have children we will die or as a species.

    I decided to have children, and not adopt instead, because I love my husband dearly and I wanted to create a family made up of his DNA mixed with my DNA. I wanted to continue my family line, as my dad has no sons and I am his only biological child. I wanted to raise decent human beings, who hopefully will become productive members of society themselves. I spend tens of thousands of dollars on my children, to see them hurt makes me hurt, to watch them grow every day is joy. I would die for my children, and I would probably kill anyone who tries to hurt them with my bare hands. In exchange, I get a ridiculously high food bill, multiple hugs and kisses and the occasional I love you. And I am perfectly content with that, because the love I have for them trancends money or any material object. If you are a good parent, selfish is the last thing you are because your children always come first.

    Saying that people who have children are automatically selfish is just as ridiculous as saying that people who don't have children are selfish because they'd rather spend their money on material objects than kids. Different strokes, but to call billions of people throughout history selfish for having children is a bit absurd. Wouldn't it be a problem for humanity if people stopped being "selfish" and no one had kids?
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  8. #38
    Elite Member *DIVA!'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Taedium View Post
    I mean what I wrote: having children is selfish. Bringing a child into a word that, objectively, has too many people and finite resources in order to fulfill a desire to be a parent is selfish. I would like to have bio children one day and most probably will have them (though I'd be perfectly content not having any children - bio, adopted, whatever) but it wouldn't change the fact that me doing so would be selfish.
    You're shitting us, right? Having a child is a personal choice it is not selfish to have or not have one!! The kids that are in my life are such a joy to me! I love my neighbor's girls. I spend an evening a week with them. What's selfish is judging others!!
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    Elite Member Kittylady's Avatar
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    I know someone of a similar age to me who has a 20+ age gap between her children. She had her first when she was in her late teens and now has a 12 month old and she is loving it. She's an amazing mum and isn't reaching for the muscle rub along side the nappy rash cream. In fact she's going back into education to make a good career for herself further down the line and I'm really thrilled for her that her life is going so well.

    Now my grandmother had my mother when she was in her 40's and WAS the stereotypical "old biddy mother" that some people like to throw around, but from what I gather she was someone who started the slide into old shortly after marrying in her 20's so for me it's not so much the biological age of the mother but the outlook and attitude.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lofty Bike View Post
    Selfish? I don't have children. I never, not even once for one second wanted a child. So I don't see myself as selfish, just consequent.
    People have no idea how important it is to be honest with oneself when it comes to wanting or not wanting children. Nothing worse than giving in to peer pressure to marry and have children...then you marry, have children and you resent them...I know. My dad didn't want kids - he barely wanted to be married. My mom, my brother and I paid the price emotionally and mentally.
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    Elite Member kasippu's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by effie2 View Post
    Well,if and when you do have children,come back in 18 years and tell us again how selfish you feel.
    Hahahaha, I KNOW what you mean. I sometimes forget I exist.
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    Quote Originally Posted by BITTER View Post
    People have no idea how important it is to be honest with oneself when it comes to wanting or not wanting children. Nothing worse than giving in to peer pressure to marry and have children...then you marry, have children and you resent them...I know. My dad didn't want kids - he barely wanted to be married. My mom, my brother and I paid the price emotionally and mentally.

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  13. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by Str8_uncut-jock View Post
    Thing is, and don't hate on me too much for this, but this lady is 51 years old. I am 41 and I have a 2.5 year old little girl and, let me tell you, it's not easy having a child this late in life. I couldn't imagine taking an infant when I am 51. She'll be 69 years old when this child graduates from high school.
    i totally missed that you have a little girl. congratulations!
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    can't post pics because my computer's broken and i'm stupid

  14. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by NickiDrea View Post
    That's a very interesting theory but I disagree with it. Humans have a biological urge to have children. This is not even debatable- it's biology, not selfishness. This is to continue the human race, because, just like any other animal, if we don't continue to have children we will die or as a species.

    I decided to have children, and not adopt instead, because I love my husband dearly and I wanted to create a family made up of his DNA mixed with my DNA. I wanted to continue my family line, as my dad has no sons and I am his only biological child. I wanted to raise decent human beings, who hopefully will become productive members of society themselves. I spend tens of thousands of dollars on my children, to see them hurt makes me hurt, to watch them grow every day is joy. I would die for my children, and I would probably kill anyone who tries to hurt them with my bare hands. In exchange, I get a ridiculously high food bill, multiple hugs and kisses and the occasional I love you. And I am perfectly content with that, because the love I have for them trancends money or any material object. If you are a good parent, selfish is the last thing you are because your children always come first.

    Saying that people who have children are automatically selfish is just as ridiculous as saying that people who don't have children are selfish because they'd rather spend their money on material objects than kids. Different strokes, but to call billions of people throughout history selfish for having children is a bit absurd. Wouldn't it be a problem for humanity if people stopped being "selfish" and no one had kids?
    I disagree. SOME humans have the urge to have children, many do not. Two of my siblings have no urge whatsoever to have children and it has nothing to do with wanting to spend money on material objects. They just have no desire to pass on their genes.

    I'm sure that you love your children very deeply (as do the majority of parents) and never meant to imply otherwise, however, a person loving their child(ren) is a completely different thing than a person being selfish by choosing to have them in the first place. As a society we are all naturally geared towards being selfish anyway, I know I certainly am as are 99% of the people I've met. Every time I buy a pair of shoes I don't need or go and see a movie or eat at an expensive restaurant I am being selfish by putting my wants ahead of other peoples needs. I don't think selfishness is necessarily bad or that being selfish makes someone a bad person.

    Quote Originally Posted by *DIVA! View Post
    You're shitting us, right? Having a child is a personal choice it is not selfish to have or not have one!! The kids that are in my life are such a joy to me! I love my neighbor's girls. I spend an evening a week with them. What's selfish is judging others!!
    Everyone judges other people. I've never understood those who try and play being judgmental off as a bad thing. It's human nature to judge - a natural instinct to better our chances of survival. Besides, you're on GossipRocks, the home of all things judgmental.
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    Elite Member KrisNine's Avatar
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    I'm probably wrong, but just because you do something for yourself, something that fulfills you and makes you happy, doesn't make you selfish. Whether it's buying a car, a house, a handbag, having a child or getting a kitten. Selfish to me is doing something for yourself without any consideration to others and putting your needs and desires above everyone else's. Sure, are my new sure going to benefit anyone but me? Probably not.

    Anyway, once you have a child, that act that may be considered "selfish" quickly turns into one that is completely "selfless".

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