Report: Jessica Simpson Is Pregnant

[NVash]

I am starting to think she is the blind about the pretend pregnancy!!!

Are we forgetting about Beyonces belly that folded in half at all stages of pregnancy? That woman was never pregnant and didnt even try to make it believable.

No, I think Jessica is all real. I have no idea why she hasnt gone into labor but I do think, as I said, that she isnt allowed to go out anymore lest she embarrass everyone even more. Maybe she lied about her due date as everyone said? Maybe shes just ridiculously overdue?

[Beeyotch]

She was chunky before she got pregnant, went hog-wild during the pregnancy eating whatever wasn't nailed down AND slathering that shit in butter--OF FUCKING COURSE she's big as a Spelling mansion near full-term. I don't think it's a fucking mystery, she just milked the publicity and was in our face about it since day 1 so it seems like it's been forEVA!

I want to cunt-punch/kick the kid out of her uterus right about now. Dumb bitch.

[faithanne]

Inside Jessica Simpson's Dramatic Delivery

Jessica Simpson couldn’t be more thrilled to finally welcome her baby girl, Maxwell. But unfortunately for the normally bubbly Fashion Star mentor, in the weeks leading up to the birth, her unbridled joy was cut short by sharp pangs of panic. “The thought of going into labor scared the bejeezus out of her,” a friend tells In Touch of the 31-year-old, who after months of speculation — and In Touch’s exclusive report — confirmed last fall that she was indeed expecting her first child with fiancé Eric Johnson, 32. “She was so anxious, she was even breaking into cold sweats at night.”

So after weeks of worry and many sleepless nights, she ultimately chose to schedule a C section. “She desperately wanted to experience the joy of a natural birth, but decided to go withwhat made the most sense for her," the friend reveals.

Though she had carefully prepared for a typically unpredictable labor — with a doctor on call 24/7, a live-in nurse at her Beverly Hills mansion and a $500,000 birthing suite reserved at LA’s elite Cedars-Sinai Medical Center — Jessica was so fearful about the physical agony of a natural birth, she dropped all her meticulous plans in lieu of the major surgery. “Jessica has no tolerance for pain,” the friend admits.“ She even turned to hypnotherapy to calm her fears about it, but nothing was working.”

She may have agonized over her decision about how to welcome little Maxi into the world, but Jessica had a strong hand to hold through the storm. “Eric is a calming force for Jessica,” the friend says of the couple. In fact, to celebrate the birth of baby Maxi, Eric surprised Jessica with a pricey piece of jewelry (paid for by Jessica!). “Eric is so excited about the birth,” the friend tells In Touch.

Permalink | Posted: April 16, 2012

Nowhere in this article does it say she's given birth. It's all about her decision not to go into labour. She announced the baby's name weeks ago so In Touch are just being vague about the rest. Even the bit about Eric being there to hold her hand wasn't about the birth but about the decision to have a C-section.

I knew when I saw that cover it would be a crock of shit.

[olivia]

Maxi???? She is naming her daughter Maxi????

Seriously?

[faithanne]

Yes, middle name Pad. But seriously, yes, it's much further back in the thread.

[Polyester Pam]

I loved my Maxi doll as a kid! She had flat feet, a fully rotate-able torso and fabulous crimped hair. This was circa 1991.

Hee hee, Jessica has to give the fiance money to buy her gifts. Awesome.

And finally - bitch, give birth already!

[Kathie_Moffett]

Maxi or Maxwell?! Either way it's awesome.

But, are we talking Maxwell as in coffee, or "Maxwell's silver hammer made sure that she was dead"?

[autumn]

What birth isn't natural? And her hubby (or whatever) is a jerk. She curried that huge baby for 9 whole months and gave a freaking birth to it, and the best he comes up with is a piece of jewel she paid for herself?

[*DIVA!]

So the baby is spicy?

[NickiDrea]

I loved my Maxi doll as a kid! She had flat feet, a fully rotate-able torso and fabulous crimped hair. This was circa 1991.

Hee hee, Jessica has to give the fiance money to buy her gifts. Awesome.

And finally - bitch, give birth already!

Maxi was awesome. I used to pretend she was Barbie's older sister.

[CornFlakegrl]

Diva I heart your avi.

[*DIVA!]

Diva I heart your avi.

Thank you... a friend of mine shared it on instagram and I fell all in love!!

[Novice]

Don't yell at me - not all attorneys are wise in the ways of the fake preggo world. Besides, I'm barely an attorney anymore. My only clients are my family and I ignore them.

You work for the mob?

I can pawn my family off on a paralegal? Woo Hoo! Thanks oh wise one.

Please, I don't have to pay attention, I show up late, mumble some hertofores and thereuntos and submit my bill at $500/hour.

Yup, I'm right aren't I!? LOL!

She was chunky before she got pregnant, went hog-wild during the pregnancy eating whatever wasn't nailed down AND slathering that shit in butter--OF FUCKING COURSE she's big as a Spelling mansion near full-term. I don't think it's a fucking mystery, she just milked the publicity and was in our face about it since day 1 so it seems like it's been forEVA!

I want to cunt-punch/kick the kid out of her uterus right about now. Dumb bitch.

I like what you did there!

What birth isn't natural? And her hubby (or whatever) is a jerk. She curried that huge baby for 9 whole months and gave a freaking birth to it, and the best he comes up with is a piece of jewel she paid for herself?

But did she slather it in butter first?

[effie2]

Is that cow still pregnant??????

[shedevilang]

sooooooooooooooooooooooo hey what are all you guys up to today?