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Thread: Police investigating singer Seal for sexual battery

  1. #31
    Elite Member lindsaywhit's Avatar
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    ^^^ Yes, this bothers me too.

    I told my sons they had to ask and respect not only the answer, but the body language.

    But I tell my daughter to be her own advocate. She gets really annoyed with me, but I'm never saying rape or assault is the woman's fault. I'm saying that women need to arm themselves with the tools to protect themselves, i.e., communication and awareness and courage.
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  2. #32
    Elite Member Mrs P's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoNoRehab View Post
    Girls are raised to be people pleasers in ways that boys never are. Don't be rude, be polite, don't make a scene, etc. I can't tell you how many times growing up my mother told me, "Think about what people will think of you!"
    Yup, growing up my mom would repeatedly say the rules are to not do anything that would make you or our family embarassed. I'll admit to breaking that rule.
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  3. #33
    Gold Member ADel's Avatar
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    I've raised two sons and "Don't be rude, be polite, don't make a scene" was most definitely a strong part of my parenting. I'm hardly unique.

    Having a personality high in agreeableness and low in assertiveness can explain her behavior. There are plenty of men that have that type of personality. Granted, Seal's not one of them.

  4. #34
    Elite Member CornFlakegrl's Avatar
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    But is it assault? If she is just too agreeable to leave after he made her uncomfortable? Don't get me wrong, he put his hands on her without an invite so he can fuck right off but just generally speaking about our ingrained agreeableness, are we then considered assaulted when we later find our courage?
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  5. #35
    Gold Member ADel's Avatar
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    Assault's kind of a stretch from the description of the events but I wasn't there. Sitting on the couch with someone after that someone tries to kiss you and you don't want to be kissed was a spectacularly boneheaded move. Unwise.

    After the initial pass she just should have taken her bundt pan and hightailed it outta Dodge. "I have to run, something suddenly came up!!"
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  6. #36
    Gold Member Lalasnake's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by czb View Post
    you can't have it both ways. we can't say women are capable of anything and then say that they fall apart in a situation like this. how then can we say women can take positions of stress or responsiblity? how can we say they can be CEOs, pilots, or astronauts.
    I'm not implying that this is an instinctual reaction of all women. This is an instinctual reaction that some human beings have to stressful situations and/or cognitive dissonance. Women aren't "capable of anything". Any given woman is incapable of some things of which others are capable. Nor are all women suited to positions of stress or responsibility. Women CEOs, pilots, and astronauts have proven themselves to be capable of handling stress and responsibility. However, there are plenty of women who are not strong in this way. We all have our weaknesses, and some of us have weaknesses in the particular areas that involve interaction with intimidating persons. It seems to me that these women were not aware of this particular weakness until they found themselves in this situation.

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