Philip Seymour Hoffman Found Dead

**Bellatheball** · February 19th, 2014, 10:34 PM

So the other two kids get the shaft?

(Reading comprehension fail. Sorry! Didn't see the part where the will was drawn up before the kids were born.)

**idunno** · February 20th, 2014, 03:38 AM

I'm a PSH fan as much as the next film afficionado, but I just think it's ridiculous - and somewhat megalomanic - to want to decide where your wife/ex-wife lives with the children long after your gone.

I'm sure he didn't expect to die so young, but IMO you lose all control over the kids, when you're dead.

**Karistiona** · February 20th, 2014, 05:23 AM

So because he didn't want his kids raised in Los Angeles he's a megalomaniac? After seeing so many young people go so terribly wrong when they've got huge wealth and they live in LA, it's totally understandable.

**idunno** · February 20th, 2014, 05:43 AM

Originally Posted by Karistiona

So because he didn't want his kids raised in Los Angeles he's a megalomaniac?

No, he's a megalomaniac, because he wants to decide where his children (and ex-wife) live, after he's dead.

**Mel1973** · February 20th, 2014, 05:56 AM

well, now... it actually says "and if they can't live there, he'd like them to visit at least twice a year..". (paraphrasing) I don't think that's megalomania, I think that's just expressing a request for your child to be exposed to art and such. I assure you, were something to happen to me, i damn sure WILL have a say in my child's immediate future. My ex will KNOW that my child is to be involved with MY family... of course, to make sure of that, I've made sure that my life insurance is to be divided between my oldest brother & my son. My oldest brother will make sure my son has all he needs and will make sure he's brought up in a way that is suitable and acceptable to ME. I don't worry about that (and obviously, neither did PSH) because I trust my ex to respect my wishes. Just because someone dies should not mean that they aren't taken into consideration... I mean, it IS PSH's 35 million dollars we're talking about. and he DID trust Mimi enough to leave the lion's share to HER to care for their children, right?

**idunno** · February 20th, 2014, 07:53 AM

Originally Posted by Mel1973

I assure you, were something to happen to me, i damn sure WILL have a say in my child's immediate future.

But you don't have a say after you're dead. Only if your brother chooses to honor your request, will you have a say, but ultimately it's your brother's decision. Your ex could also decide to sue for full custody, and who knows, the court might agree with him.

It's certinly prudent to discuss what happen with kids after one is dead, but to put it in a will seems odd to me. They're not property.

**McJag** · February 20th, 2014, 07:59 AM

Originally Posted by idunno

But you don't have a say after you're dead. Only if your brother chooses to honor your request, will you have a say, but ultimately it's your brother's decision. Your ex could also decide to sue for full custody, and who knows, the court might agree with him.

It's certinly prudent to discuss what happen with kids after one is dead, but to put it in a will seems odd to me. They're not property.

He was not treating then like property! He was expressing what type of childhood he preferred for his son who was just a year old. Any parent cares deeply what would happen to their small children,even if they are not around. I can only assume you do not have children. This is not hard to understand. He was just a caring father.

**idunno** · February 20th, 2014, 08:08 AM

Originally Posted by McJag

He was not treating then like property! He was expressing what type of childhood he preferred for his son who was just a year old. Any parent cares deeply what would happen to their small children,even if they are not around. I can only assume you do not have children. This is not hard to understand. He was just a caring father.

Caring about what happens to your children after you're dead, does not mean you get to decide what happens.

**Mel1973** · February 20th, 2014, 08:11 AM

Originally Posted by idunno

But you don't have a say after you're dead. Only if your brother chooses to honor your request, will you have a say, but ultimately it's your brother's decision. Your ex could also decide to sue for full custody, and who knows, the court might agree with him.

It's certinly prudent to discuss what happen with kids after one is dead, but to put it in a will seems odd to me. They're not property.

my ex would have full custody. my family WILL be involved with my kid. my family will always respect my decisions were it to come to my child. as would my ex. as will PSH's ex, I can almost guarantee you. Since PSH saw his kids pretty much EVERY day, I'm guessing his partner had no issue with PSH's wishes for his kids... especially since they all already live in NYC. Some people can coparent nicely, regardless of the situation. I think him dying may factor into Mimi staying in NYC with his kids.

**sputnik** · February 20th, 2014, 08:21 AM

Originally Posted by idunno

I'm a PSH fan as much as the next film afficionado, but I just think it's ridiculous - and somewhat megalomanic - to want to decide where your wife/ex-wife lives with the children long after your gone.

his will says he 'expressed a strong desire' that they be raised in those cities and barring that, that they visit often. desire is not the same as dictating or deciding. besides, if you had 3 kids with someone and they left you all their millions, you'd think you'd take their desires into consideration after they died, no?

**JadeStar70** · February 20th, 2014, 08:23 AM

You would have thought he would have updated his will after he had two more children. I think it is kind of bullshit to dictate after your dead,...but I bet she does it if she wants the money. He obviously trusted her enough in the care of the kids,...you would think he would trust her judgement in their place of residency.

She could always do as she pleases with the kids and just let the money set. It would be a mega-ton in another 10 years or so. I hope the girls will get a share of that earning interest for them, as well.

**idunno** · February 20th, 2014, 08:23 AM

Originally Posted by Mel1973

my ex would have full custody. my family WILL be involved with my kid. my family will always respect my decisions were it to come to my child. as would my ex. as will PSH's ex, I can almost guarantee you. Since PSH saw his kids pretty much EVERY day, I'm guessing his partner had no issue with PSH's wishes for his kids... especially since they all already live in NYC. Some people can coparent nicely, regardless of the situation. I think him dying may factor into Mimi staying in NYC with his kids.

I obviously don't know your specific situation. I'm sure your family will honor your requests.

I was trying to make two points: 1) One may have requests, but one does not get to decide what happens after one's death. 2) Putting requests regarding children in a will, sidelines them with money/property IMO, so why not just talk to one's relatives instead.

**sputnik** · February 20th, 2014, 08:33 AM

Originally Posted by JadeStar70

You would have thought he would have updated his will after he had two more children. I think it is kind of bullshit to dictate after your dead,...but I bet she does it if she wants the money. He obviously trusted her enough in the care of the kids,...you would think he would trust her judgement in their place of residency.

She could always do as she pleases with the kids and just let the money set. It would be a mega-ton in another 10 years or so. I hope the girls will get a share of that earning interest for them, as well.

unless i'm missing something, he's not dictating. his will says he expressed a strong desire that they live in those cities and if not possible that they visit twice a year or so. but nothing in the article indicates there was a condition and she'll still inherit the money regardless of where she decides to live with the children.

**JadeStar70** · February 20th, 2014, 08:37 AM

Oh,...Well, I just skimmed the article,...I thought they had to live in one of those places. Visits to cultural places is a nice thing to want your kids introduced to in life. He had the means to give them that, for sure. I am just shocked he never updated the will in 10 years and after two more kids. I hope it will be split by the three children, even without the younger girls name's being on the will.

*DIVA! · February 20th, 2014, 08:38 AM

Geesh it's a freaking Will!!! That's what a will does. It leaves behind your wishes so your loved ones and the state will know what to do with your estate!!
Just like if you are married and estranged and you leave everything to your child.. Your spouse gets crap, and the law and the spouse have to abide by that!!