Peaches Geldof dies aged 25

[effie2]

She and everybody around her were putting two babies in a dangerous situation BECAUSE they were all selling a false image of her for money.If the truth was known,no TV or interviews ..her hubby is still unemployed and in a way she was used just like Britney or Lohan.I have sympathy for addicts,i dont pontificate or wage fingers,but i cannot excuse in my mind a mother,any mother shooting up while a baby crawls around,maybe hungry or scared..If you cant stop and seek help,give your kids up because you cannot look after them..And if she was that far gone not to care,how about her hubby,parents grandparents?Every one let those poor babies down...

[sparkles]

I have no idea what why she died but regardless of the reason, I view it as a tragedy for all concerned. I have very mixed feelings about addiction. I have a husband who has successfully (to date) battled alcoholism, and other relatives with the same addiction, who were unsuccessful. Still others with varied addictions of one type or other. But it appears to me that every single one of the people I know who have battled any sort of addiction, has underlying issues or illnesses that they were trying to self-medicate. To me that is a sad commentary on the limited amount of help which is available to those in need. Many of the people i know were battling depression/anxiety and nothing they did (medication, therapy) seemed to help. Some were suffering from profound losses in their life, for some a horrific history of abuse, incest and rape. And for others, legitimate pain issues which were untreated or under-treated by the medical community. I completely understand the pain addiction causes to others, as my husband hurt me beyond words and I still have a hard time with some things he said and did. And he, and all the others I know, must take full responsibility for their choices and subsequent actions. But I don't think any of them grew up with the thought that when they grew up they wanted to be an addict, destroy their life and all the lives around them.

[Karistiona]

Well said as always Sparkles. I hope your husband continues with his sobriety, I can only imagine how tough that must have been for you all

[rollo]

Tell me this isn't spin then:

Fifi Geldof is to follow her father Sir Bob up the aisle

By SEBASTIAN SHAKESPEARE
PUBLISHED: 01:53, 2 May 2014 | UPDATED: 13:07, 2 May 2014


Bob Geldof is to marry his long-term girlfriend, French actress Jeanne Marine, as I revealed yesterday, and it could be a double wedding as his daughter, Fifi, has also become engaged.
Fifi, 31, whose younger sister, Peaches, died suddenly last month with heroin in her body, has accepted a marriage proposal from her 33-year-old boyfriend, Andrew Robertson.
‘They’re going to hold the wedding in July next year,’ says one of her friends. Another adds: ‘I think we all need a happy family event now.’



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Fifi, 31, has accepted a marriage proposal from her 33-year-old boyfriend Andrew Robertson




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Bob Geldof is to marry his long-term girlfriend, French actress Jeanne Marine

The timing means it will not coincide with the inquest into the death of TV presenter Peaches, who died aged 25.

The inquest opened in Gravesend, Kent, but after a short statement by the police, was adjourned until July.
Fifi, who was educated at the now-closed private Bedgebury School in Kent, told friends that she and her ‘beautiful bridesmaids’ were yesterday due to meet fashion designer Jasper Conran, who will create her bridal gown.
An executive in the offices of David Cameron’s PR pal Matthew Freud, Fifi has been courting Robertson, known as Sandy, since last summer.



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The news comes as the family grieves the death of Peaches Geldof, whose inquest opened yesterday

Robertson, a one-time homeless magician, describes himself as an ‘artist and busker’.
He runs an organisation called Dirtybeach, which creates sand sculptures on beaches to make sometimes light-hearted political and environmental points.
He even appeared on the BBC TV programme Dragons’ Den, dressed in a red kilt, with the intention of asking for £100,000 of funding to build litter-removing robots.

The producers edited out his idea, screening only his bid for £22,000 for a pop-up beach bar — which the Dragons turned down.

He told Dragons’ Den he had been homeless in 2007 and had a ‘plethora’ of jobs. He even worked as a lap-dancer at Stringfellows. ‘I started out as an engineer,’ he said. ‘I was Father Christmas once.’
Of Geldof’s marriage proposal to Jeanne Marine, her friend, the model Jerry Hall, told me: ‘They have been through hell, but they are determined something positive will come out of it.’
The Live Aid founder has been courting Jeanne since his divorce from TV presenter Paula Yates in 1996. She died of a heroin overdose four years later at the age of 41.
After Yates’s death, Geldof adopted Tiger Lily, her now 17-year-old daughter by the late Australian INXS singer Michael Hutchence. In addition to Peaches and Fifi, Geldof had Pixie, now 23, with Yates.


Read more: Sir Bob Geldof to be followed up the aisle by daughter Fifi | Mail Online

[A*O]

I fail to see the obvious connection between the death of a daughter/sister and deciding to get married apart from extra "sympathy" sales of Hello! I bet the photoshoots are already booked. Hey, the Geldofs are in the headlines at the moment so why not milk it. Cynical, moi?

[rollo]

Don't tell me Fifi is stepping into the limelight. She was the Aimee Osbourne of that family.

[Novice]

Folks never, ever marry or make big life decisions following the death of someone close. Used to be that it would be announced in the Times, now it's the Daily Mail.
Given her family, her job, & current family situation, it's hardly surprising that it's in the press; doesn't make it "spin".

She's dead. Doesn't mean they didn't love heen if she was a junkie. Jesus, what do you people want? Should they have thrown her body to the wolves, buried her in an unmarked grave at a crossroads and publicly renounced her in death? That coffin may have been tacky as fuck but that's not 'enabling', that's a family grieving the loss of a loved one. If my sister died I wouldn't love her any less or be any less sad about her death if it were from a heroin OD rather than cancer. I don't understand the satisfaction people seem to derive from self-righteously gloating over someone's death just because they were druggies.

And being an addict is only part of whom she was, regardless of the fact that the addiction tends to consume the person. Obviously the family wants & needs to remember the other facets of her especially for her kids.

In my family, we don't worry about my brother overdosing on drugs (his drug of choice is marijuana) so much as we worry about him committing suicide because of the shame, frustration, and hopelessness he feels about his situation; he had a very bright future, every opportunity in the world, and he threw it all away for drugs. He was valedictorian and was voted "Most Likely to be a Millionaire" in high school, and image and success have always been extremely important to him. He's now at a stage where his friends are graduating from law school and medical school, getting married, etc... and he doesn't even have a college degree. He also has no friends because they all turned their backs on him when he started having serious problems, and he's too embarrassed by his situation to date. Even with the improvements he's made (he has been sober for a year, is working a part time job, and takes a course at the local community college), I worry every single day that he will commit suicide. Every time the phone rings, I worry that it's going to be that call.

As sick as it may sound, I have already started to mentally prepare myself for the possibility of that happening, and I know that if it did, I would not try to protect his reputation at the expense of possibly reaching even one person and sparing another family the devastating impact that addiction has on the addict himself and all of the people who love him. I think it's important to be honest about addiction and let people see the impact and the consequences that it has. Drug abuse is an entirely preventable thing, and I think not talking about it just exacerbates the problem; people see it as so shameful that they can't ask for help, even if they want it. I think it's important for people who are or are thinking about using drugs to see family members who love the addict despite the addiction and want to help - not who were so embarrassed by the addiction that they won't talk about it. That could make the difference between someone choosing to get help, or not to use in the first place, and in making the same choices and mistakes that ultimately destroyed the addict. Having a loved one who is an addict is a very difficult, stressful thing. It's always in the back of your mind, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

He still has time to make his achievements and dealing with this at such an early age will give him incredible (mental) strength & buoyancy later in life.
I know that you worry about him and I hope that while he is dealing with the root causes of his issues that there are people around him that help him to acknowledge that what he is doing is much more courageous and difficult than taking the "usual path" of college etc.
He (sounds to have) worked very hard on himself and doesn't seem to be seeing that.
Sometimes, the extraordinary umongst us need to take a different path to the mundane, the rank & file; being on that path at the start can be very difficult.
He can obviously be very driven and focused, maybe once he finds his feet again he will choose to use his experience to help other people of a similar age to himself with similar issues?

[sputnik]

In my family, we don't worry about my brother overdosing on drugs (his drug of choice is marijuana) so much as we worry about him committing suicide because of the shame, frustration, and hopelessness he feels about his situation; he had a very bright future, every opportunity in the world, and he threw it all away for drugs. He was valedictorian and was voted "Most Likely to be a Millionaire" in high school, and image and success have always been extremely important to him. He's now at a stage where his friends are graduating from law school and medical school, getting married, etc... and he doesn't even have a college degree. He also has no friends because they all turned their backs on him when he started having serious problems, and he's too embarrassed by his situation to date. Even with the improvements he's made (he has been sober for a year, is working a part time job, and takes a course at the local community college), I worry every single day that he will commit suicide. Every time the phone rings, I worry that it's going to be that call.

As sick as it may sound, I have already started to mentally prepare myself for the possibility of that happening, and I know that if it did, I would not try to protect his reputation at the expense of possibly reaching even one person and sparing another family the devastating impact that addiction has on the addict himself and all of the people who love him. I think it's important to be honest about addiction and let people see the impact and the consequences that it has. Drug abuse is an entirely preventable thing, and I think not talking about it just exacerbates the problem; people see it as so shameful that they can't ask for help, even if they want it. I think it's important for people who are or are thinking about using drugs to see family members who love the addict despite the addiction and want to help - not who were so embarrassed by the addiction that they won't talk about it. That could make the difference between someone choosing to get help, or not to use in the first place, and in making the same choices and mistakes that ultimately destroyed the addict. Having a loved one who is an addict is a very difficult, stressful thing. It's always in the back of your mind, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

SB, i have a question for you: are your parents supportive of him and the progress he's made or are they ashamed of his disease? do you think he should be ashamed of his situation?
i ask because i think for any addict to recover, it's important to have a support system, and part of that support system has to build up the shattered self-confidence he's probably dealing with. especially with what i know of your family situation, it must have been particularly hard for him to go from golden boy and popular kid at school to druggie loser whose friends abandoned him. he's only in his mid-20s though so i think he'll be ok, it's not the same as starting over at 40 or older. he's got so much ahead of him he needs to focus on that and on making a new life for himself where he doesn't have to constantly compare himself to his former friends and their achievements and milestones.

[gas_chick]

I don't find it all that shocking that the family is trying to make happy moves in their lives following this family tragedy. Proposals/weddings increase after things like the Boston bombing and 9/11, etc.

[KrisNine]

For me, I think the tough-love bullshit was really destructive. I agree that the addict needs a support system, not people that cut them off completely if they aren't doing well. Sure, don't give them money for drugs/alcohol, don't to make it easy for them to continue living the life that they're living, but make sure they have a safe place to rest at night. Or a place to try and sober up for a few days. It's baby steps. i had to listen to a strong 86 year old man cry because he wishes he wouldn't have shut the door on his son one night, because the drug and alcohol counselor told them this is what they had to do. They thought he gave up because why get clean and sober if no one cares about you, if everyone is cutting you off, surely they don't care?? My own mother wishes she could go back in time and answer his calls when he was in the middle of an alcohol binge. Calling her, crying for her to come and get him because he wanted to die. My mother has to live with that.

[southernbelle]

SB, i have a question for you: are your parents supportive of him and the progress he's made or are they ashamed of his disease? do you think he should be ashamed of his situation?
i ask because i think for any addict to recover, it's important to have a support system, and part of that support system has to build up the shattered self-confidence he's probably dealing with. especially with what i know of your family situation, it must have been particularly hard for him to go from golden boy and popular kid at school to druggie loser whose friends abandoned him. he's only in his mid-20s though so i think he'll be ok, it's not the same as starting over at 40 or older. he's got so much ahead of him he needs to focus on that and on making a new life for himself where he doesn't have to constantly compare himself to his former friends and their achievements and milestones.

We're all supportive of him. He was living near my dad and stepmom, and he wanted to move in with them. They live in a huge, beautiful house with a ton of amenities and a guest house. When they told him that he was welcome to come visit them at their home, come over for dinner anytime, etc, but he could not move in with them and needed to have (and pay for) his own apartment, my mom swooped in with her usual "they don't care about you like I do!!!" bullshit. He moved halfway across the country and he now lives with my mom. She bought him a trailer and put it in her backyard so he can have "privacy." She is "supportive" to the point of being an enabler. She has always gotten off on the fact that he was so popular and good looking, and wants to be his buddy and the "cool" parent. It makes it extremely difficult for the rest of us, who are trying to help him in his sobriety, when she's going against everything the facility recommended and tells him that my dad and stepmom just want to control him and don't want to help him. So, it's a constant source of frustration, but we are doing the best we can to support him and show him that we love him while also trying to make sure he doesn't fall back into the same habits, and I just pray that he will recognize that letting him do whatever he wants (which is how he got into this situation in the first place) does not equate to loving him more.

[JadeStar70]

I think Fifi looks like Marie Osmond through the face,....weird!!!

[sputnik]

We're all supportive of him. He was living near my dad and stepmom, and he wanted to move in with them. They live in a huge, beautiful house with a ton of amenities and a guest house. When they told him that he was welcome to come visit them at their home, come over for dinner anytime, etc, but he could not move in with them and needed to have (and pay for) his own apartment, my mom swooped in with her usual "they don't care about you like I do!!!" bullshit. He moved halfway across the country and he now lives with my mom. She bought him a trailer and put it in her backyard so he can have "privacy." She is "supportive" to the point of being an enabler. She has always gotten off on the fact that he was so popular and good looking, and wants to be his buddy and the "cool" parent. It makes it extremely difficult for the rest of us, who are trying to help him in his sobriety, when she's going against everything the facility recommended and tells him that my dad and stepmom just want to control him and don't want to help him. So, it's a constant source of frustration, but we are doing the best we can to support him and show him that we love him while also trying to make sure he doesn't fall back into the same habits, and I just pray that he will recognize that letting him do whatever he wants (which is how he got into this situation in the first place) does not equate to loving him more.

it's great that you're supportive of him and i agree your mom sounds like an enabler but even if you support him in his recovery. and i do think dealing with addiction and having to go through treatment and all the stuff your brother has been through, must be an incredibly difficult thing to do, at the same time, i think it's a fine line between telling recovering addicts that they have to take responsibility for their fuck-ups and their own recovery (which i absolutely believe) and viewing drug addiction as something they should be ashamed of. which is why i asked if your dad and stepmom think he should be ashamed of his situation?
i think addiction is a disease. which doesn't mean that the addict bears no responsibility for his/her actions, but i don't necessarily agree with a lot of the philosophy espoused by 'tough love' type treatment centres that not only push the tough love stuff, they also put a lot of emphasis (too much IMO) on 'shaming' addicts which i think hurts them in the long term because it's kind of hard to get back on track when your doctors and therapists are helping you get better but also putting you down at the same time with all the shaming.

[southernbelle]

it's great that you're supportive of him and i agree your mom sounds like an enabler but even if you support him in his recovery. and i do think dealing with addiction and having to go through treatment and all the stuff your brother has been through, must be an incredibly difficult thing to do, at the same time, i think it's a fine line between telling recovering addicts that they have to take responsibility for their fuck-ups and their own recovery (which i absolutely believe) and viewing drug addiction as something they should be ashamed of. which is why i asked if your dad and stepmom think he should be ashamed of his situation?
i think addiction is a disease. which doesn't mean that the addict bears no responsibility for his/her actions, but i don't necessarily agree with a lot of the philosophy espoused by 'tough love' type treatment centres that not only push the tough love stuff, they also put a lot of emphasis (too much IMO) on 'shaming' addicts which i think hurts them in the long term because it's kind of hard to get back on track when your doctors and therapists are helping you get better but also putting you down at the same time with all the shaming.

I don't think they feel he should be ashamed of the addiction itself, but they did think he should be remorseful about some of the things he did while he was high (especially deceiving them into giving him over $100,000 over a period of about 5 years for what they believed were educational expenses like tuition, housing, meal plans, etc when in reality he was not in school). But, they also have the attitude that it's in the past and none of us should dwell on it; instead, we try to just move forward as a family. He has apologized and we've all accepted his apology and don't want him to be so overcome with guilt at the things he's done that it prevents him from wanting to participate in family activities. My grandfather was an alcoholic, so there is a family history, and two of my dad's first cousins had issues with drug abuse and committed suicide. So, my parents' (by parents I am referring to my dad and stepmom) believe that it's definitely a disease, but it's one that he needs to get help for and be very aware of so that he does not go down the same path. They're not satisfied with my mom's line of "He's sober. He's doing great. There's no reason for him to go to AA meetings or have a sponsor when he's got this under control himself."

[A*O]

Asking a parent to go against every instinct with a Tough Love policy is always going to be extremely difficult. My kids, thank God, aren't addicts and I hope never will be, but if I had to watch them sliding down that slippery slope to ruin (or worse) I know my first and overwhelming instinct would be to embrace, protect and provide the safest, softest place to land. It's a very thin and blurred line between that and enabling. It's a bit like the attitude of several parents I know who prefer their kids to drink/smoke/party, sometimes to excess, "safe" at home than out and about God know where doing God knows what with God knows whom.

Celeb kids do all this stuff with the added pressure of paps and public scrutiny but trying to sanitise what happens or even deliberately lying or at least spinning the truth as in this case does make you wonder who's trying to protect whom.